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The Oprah Interview

Wednesday, February 16th, 2005

Oprah: Amy, take us back to January of 2005. That seems to have been a turning point in your life- what happened?

Amy: Um, can I take a sip of water? Okay (deep sigh) where do I begin?

Oprah: Let’s start with your pregnancy…

Amy: Well, we found out that we were expecting our second child right before Christmas. I can’t tell you how happy we were because we had been trying for a baby for over a year. One hour after I told my husband that we were finally pregnant, I began to spot. I had never had this with my first pregnancy and many of my friends, at the time, had went through miscarriages so I was nervous and upset thinking that this might happen to me as well.

We ran a series of blood work and the day before NYE we were told that things looked good and to go out and celebrate the New Year. Despite receiving this news, I still did not feel comfortable sharing about the pregnancy.

My husband and I went out for dinner to celebrate and then headed to a movie. I stopped at the bathroom and saw more spotting. I just knew that something was wrong.

The next day (on New Year’s Day) I went to the lab for more blood work. This blood work came back abnormal. My progesterone was low.

Oprah: What did this indicate to the doctor?

Amy: That the pregnancy was not a healthy one, but again, the doctor said that things could go either way.

Oprah: So then what happened?

Amy: I was pretty much a wreck at this point. I just couldn’t stop crying uncontrollably. I couldn’t believe that after a year of trying that this would happen to our family and I didn’t think anything could get any worse for me.

Oprah: But it did.

Amy: Yes, my life continued to take a turn for the worse.

Because I was so upset, I did not feel like I could take care of myself or my son. I called my sister and she offered for me to come over there to relax and be taken care of. I think she was trying to get my mind off things.

When I arrived she told me that she had a few errands she needed to run and invited me to come along. We drove over to the local grocery store and picked up a few groceries and headed out to the car. I had my son in one of those carts with the car part in the front and I had to bend down to pick him up to get him out of it. All of a sudden, I started to feel enormous pressure on my back. I know it could have only been for a minute or so, but my instinct kicked in to push back against whatever was pushing me. I heard my sister screaming that someone was hitting me with their car. I was basically pinned between the two cars with my body blocking the cart that was holding my son in it.

Oprah: What did the lady do?

Amy: Well, she didn’t know any English so she continued keeping the car in reverse until she figured it out. Once she figured it out she pulled the car up to free me and then got out of the car and started loading our groceries into the car.

Oprah: Why was she doing that?

Amy: She was reassuring me that I was okay and helping me load the groceries and then was trying to leave. Luckily my sister kept the lady there until the police arrived.

Oprah: I am sure she was arrested.

Amy: No, actually she left without even a ticket (gasp from the audience). She had no license, no insurance, provided a false address, and had no phone number and the cops had to let her go because of some Indiana law having to do with private property. I was then taken over to the emergency room, but they could do nothing for me because of the pregnancy. We had explained that it sounded like I was going to miscarry anyway, but they didn’t want to risk it. The doctor said he had seen too many pregnancies succeed even when doctors said they were doomed to fail.

Oprah: But yours did not succeed did it?

Amy: No, I miscarried the next evening. The whole time I thought that I was miscarrying. I thought a miscarriage was spotting and something like a period because that was how it was explained to me. It was much more than that though- it was one of the longest nights of my life.

At the end of the week I went in for x-rays and they confirmed that I would need treatment, but wanted to wait until I was completely through the miscarriage before beginning treatment. Upon the miscarriage ending, my treatment prescribed was four to six weeks of physical therapy twice a week for a back injury that I had sustained.

Oprah: Wow, that is some story. I am sure that things started to look up for you?

Amy: Well, I was a crying and sobbing mess. Everything made me cry. That whole week, I just cried like a baby every single day. People say the stupidest things when you miscarry. Things like that you will get pregnant again, that your baby was probably retarded, that it was better this way, that this was God’s plan. After I got over the hurt, then I started getting really mean. Like, I hated everyone mean.

I would see a pregnant person and I would immediately hate her only because she was pregnant. Or someone who was pregnant would complain about her back hurting and I would want to scream inside of my head. I would go into the ob/gyn office for follow-ups and have to sit beside four complainin
g pregnant women- it was pure torture. That is when I came up with the idea for the new ob/gyn office and why I am a millionaire today.

Oprah: And what was that idea?

Amy: Well, that we need to set up an ob/gyn office like you would set up a pediatrician’s office. A sick entrance and a well-kid entrance. Instead of that though, you would have an infertile/miscarriage entrance and then an entrance for happy/pregnant people.

I also thought it would be wonderful to have different exam rooms set up too. For the happy/pregnant people, they could have pictures of beautiful babies and serene colors in their rooms. Pictures of mothers with child and all the beautiful fluff that we fill our nursery with.

Then for the infertile/miscarriage people, they could have a room that had no pictures of babies and just happy single amazing women who are living their life to the fullest minus kids. There are pictures of women on vacations, hitting the clubs/bars, and just generally living the good life.

Oprah: What a brilliant idea! Now THAT is what I like to call an, “Ah,ha moment!”

So did your life start looking up after that?

Amy: Well, the week after my idea…

Oprah: Your BRILLIANT idea…

Amy: (modestly) My brilliant ideamy son came down with the croup and an upper respiratory virus and had to spend two nights in the hospital- it was horrible. Our insurance…well, it’s not the best plan we have ever had…let’s just say that despite my ah-ha moment, I had racked up thousands of dollars in good old-fashioned medical bills. It was a low point in our finances, and I just felt beaten down. Maybe this wasn’t God’s plan or maybe it was and He was teaching me to lean on Him. I know my story wasn’t as bad as Job’s in the Bible, but COME ON! I get hit as a pedestrian by a car, I have a miscarriage, I sustain a nasty back injury, my poor little boy is hospitalized for illness, and we get to pay the hospital a gazillion dollars for treatment- this is definitely at a low point. The only good that came of all of this is that I have focused less on myself because I wanted to care for my Ethan so it got me out of the mean stage…well, for awhile anyway.

Oprah: That is an incredible story. What do you think the future holds for you?

Amy: Well, I am going to concentrate more on my website and then I have been thinking of starting this blog, but I have had some hesitations with that. It’s…well…it’s almost like someone is reading your journal. It creeps me out, but it also is quite therapuetic. I thought I would give it a shot.

Oprah:
Well, thank you for sharing your story with us. I think we all can learn a lesson from you and good luck with your site and that blog. I understand that blogs are the latest thing.

Amy: And thank YOU, Oprah. I feel like doing my Hallelujah dance just meeting you.

Oprah: And next we will be talking to a mother who is addicted to crack, plastic surgery, and public nudity. Her story is amazing and you won’t want to miss what her kids have to say about their mom….


True Confessions of Motherhood

Tuesday, February 15th, 2005

Day one of blogging and I get to begin with a confession- I almost beat my kid today. Yes, call the Child Protective Services because I was inches away from giving my child a royal spanking in Chickfila.

I am not a big fast food junkie, but once a in awhile I enjoy a little fast food. I received a nice free kid’s meal coupon from Michael’s when I went to get some flowers for my table, and thought since I had the craving for fast food that this would be a good time to use it.

I walk in, with Ethan in tow, and he starts saying, “Slide, slide!” Noticing the nice play area behind us, I tell him that we will get to play on the equipment AFTER we eat. I don’t think the sentence had even flowed from my mouth before he was running over to the play area. My SIL tackles him and brings him screaming to me as I try to place my order for a kid’s meal for the very ungrateful child who is now kicking and screaming before me. Trying to keep my cool, I reach for Ethan and he begins to scream, kick, and make himself limp. If you have a toddler I am sure you know exactly the type of limpness that I am referring to. The “I’mgoingtomakemyselfasheavyaspossible” limp. I walk him over to our table and try to put him in the high chair with no success. He is kicking and screaming, “No chair! No chair” There are snot and tears everywhere and he is screaming at the highest tone that he can. I drag him screaming out only to be stopped by a well-meaning stranger who has let me know that he has lost a shoe in the process of kicking me. I take him out to the car and put him in his car seat and shut the door. I do not yell (go me!) or spank him (go me!) but I do contemplate doing both. Instead, I stand outside of the car and breathe deeply and chant, “I will not spank, I will not spank, I will not spank.” My SIL brings the food out to the car and we leave- there are no rewards for bad behavior in this car and the rewards include the coveted french fries as well as playing in the play area. My SIL kindly reports to me that one elderly lady said that she wished she would have turned her hearing aid down since we were so loud. Thanks lady! And your kids were perfect? Tell me, what was that like? UGH!