Let me just say, before I begin my little ranting-mantra, that using the word s-u-c-k & the word mom brings some nasties to my blog & my website. From now on, I will not be using that word. Can ya believe that the most frequently found phrase when searching has been those two words together in my little MomAdvice reports? Come on, peeps, this is a FAMILY site, ya heard? I am just a mom with a bad vocabulary. I guess what I am trying to say is be very careful of what you say because you never know what keywords people will put together- lesson learned, ya’ll.
Moving on to the real scoop on our family- we are in final preparations for mission impossible (aka- my son’s third birthday party). Am I the ONLY one who thinks that birthday parties have gotten way out of hand, or what? Can I get an “Amen!”?? I mean, who exactly was the mom who started this whole party favor thing and why in the world would someone start doing that? It is a birthday party and that translates into the birthday kid getting the presents, not all of their friends, am I right?
Let’s go back to the olden days when I walked uphill both ways to school, taught myself, and held (at least) two jobs….So…. back in those days, my birthday parties consisted of me, my family, and possibly one friend. I got to pick my favorite dinner dish and I got a couple of presents & a cake. Here are some examples of a few things that I did not get at my birthday party….
1. A clown, juggling man, mime, magician, or circus freak
2. A pony ride for each of my friends
3. A jumbo jumpee thing-a-ma-bob
4. A gazillion presents
5. Party favors for everyone who attended
I didn’t have any of those things and, ironically, my birthday was still special and it was still my day! I would just like to talk to the yahoo who originated the idea of needing these types of things at a party because now I have now become part of this sick birthday cycle…..
Here is how the cycle works (in case you haven’t gotten to be part of it)…Little Johnny invites Suzie to his birthday party. Suzie buys him a nice gift (in the ten dollar range) and comes to the amazing “Two Year Old Bash.” This two year old bash involves a full orchestra, treats made for each individual child, and a goodie bag of more treats to take home.
Then Suzie has her birthday party and, because Little Johnny invited her to his birthday party, she invites him even though Suzie and her mom think Little Johnny is..well… a brat. So Little Johnny comes and brings a nice gift (in the fifty dollar range) and Suzie’s mommy starts to panic. “Wait! We only gave Little Johnny a ten dollar gift!” Suzie’s mom feels super-guilty, but proud because this year she has party favors for each child. In each child’s bag is a few small trinkets and candy for each kid.
Little Johnny invites Suzie (because it is only fair!) to his annual birthday party the next year. Now Suzie’s mom has to buy a fifty dollar gift (because it is only fair!) and Little Johnny’s mom has to have even more fun trinkets and candy (because it is only fair!) in each child’s goodie bag.
This scenario persists until Little Johnny’s mom & Suzie’s mom either end up having mental breakdowns or each kid ends up coming home with iPods and midsize SUV’s…..
Do I make myself clear? This is just getting out of hand, people! Why do we all have to compete? Why can’t we just love each other? Let’s break the cycle! Let’s stop the insanity! Let’s say NO to party favors and all of this silliness….
Well, I must run though and work on wrapping my party favors for Ethan’s party, but I swear this is the last year I am doing this, and no one has to compete with us anymore! We lose!! You win!!
The cycle is broken- you are released from giving my kid party favors….Can I get an, “Amen!”?
Stop the Insanity
July 6th, 200510 Best Children’s Activities at Walt Disney World
June 24th, 2005I’m sure you all know about Disney World’s amazing theme parks, but are you familiar with the myriad of fascinating activities for children offered throughout Walt Disney World that are either complimentary or offered for a reasonable fee to Disney resort guests? Here are some of the best:
- Snag a Bass On a Kid’s Fishing Excursion. 1-hour angling trips just for children are available from the resort marinas of Disney’s Contemporary, Polynesian, Yacht and Beach Club, and Boardwalk Inn and Villas. For miles of shore fishing head over to Disney’s Ft. Wilderness where cane poles and rods and reels may be rented at the Bike Barn in the Meadow Recreation Area. Fishing excursions are approximately $25 per child. Call 407-WDW-PLAY for reservations.
- Enjoy the Old West. Hayrides depart each evening from Pioneer Hall at Fort Wilderness for a 45-minute trip. Very tame, cowboy-guided trail rides are also offered, or younger children can opt for a $2 pony ride at the Fort Wilderness Petting Farm. Hayrides are $8 per adult and $4 per child; no reservations taken. Trail rides are $30 per person; reservations are required and may be made up to two weeks in advance by calling 407-WDW-PLAY.
- Sing-Along in Front of the Campfire. Families gather round the campfire each evening at Ft. Wilderness for a sing-along, marshmallow roast, and a Disney animated movie. Complimentary to all Walt Disney World resort guests.
- Watch the Electrical Water Pageant Parade. Nightly on the Seven Seas Lagoon is a delightful 1000-foot string of illuminated barges featuring King Neptune and his court of whales, sea serpents, and other deep-sea creatures. The free show can be seen from the beaches of Disney’s Polynesian, Grand Floridian, Contemporary, and Wilderness Lodge Resorts.
- Ride Up Front with the Monorail Driver. Simply ask the Cast Member on duty. They will be happy to oblige as long as the front car is empty.
- Dive into One of Disney’s Fabulous Themed Pools. You can’t do much better than a dip in one of Disney’s wonderful swimming pools. Children’s favorites: the Volcano Pool at Disney’s Polynesian Resort featuring a smoking volcano slide, underwater music, and sparkling waterfall, all with a superb view of the Seven Seas Lagoon; the Wilderness Lodge’s boulder-lined pool featuring waterfalls, rocky overlooks, water slide, and a nearby geyser; the eye-popping Stormalong Bay, a mini-water park complex that meanders between the Yacht and Beach Club, offering three acres of winding, watery delight including sandy bottom pools, a giant “shipwreck” waterslide, a tidal whirlpool, bubbling hot tubs, a kiddie pool with its own slide next to the beach, and enough length to float lazily in inner tubes to your heart’s delight.
- Search for Buried Treasure on a Pirate’s Cruise. Every Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday, children ages 3-10 sail from the dock of Disney’s Grand Floridian Resort on a 2-hour supervised trip to a deserted island. $28 fee includes snacks, bandanas, and treasure. Call 407-WDW-DINE for reservations.
- Attend a Children’s Tea Party. A “Wonderland Tea Party” happens Mon-Fri at 1:30 P.M. in 1900 Park Fare at Disney’s Grand Floridian Resort. Hosted by characters from Alice in Wonderland, the little ones play games, listen to stories, and drink apple “tea”. $28. Strictly for children ages 3-10. Call 407-WDW-DINE for reservations.
- Take in a Character Meal. These extremely popular dining opportunities, offered at both the Disney theme parks and resort hotels, are a perfect way for your children to spend extra time with favorite Disney characters. Meals are offered in three ways depending on the restaurant: buffet-style, family-style, or pre-plated meals; regardless, it’s essentially all-you-can-eat. Characters work the room, stopping at each table to interact with guests, pose for photos, and sign autographs. Book priority seating early, particularly for Cinderella’s Royal Table, Epcot’s Princess Breakfast in Norway , and Chef Mickey’s by calling 407-WDW-DINE
Organized Travel
June 15th, 2005Vacations. The very word bring tears to my eyes. All of the packing, getting to our destination, kids not sleeping in their beds, getting lost, having trouble finding a hotel to stay in- let’s face it, vacations can evoke nightmares for mothers.
I remember our first “vacation” as one of the most horrific times in our lives. We were traveling to Indiana from Massachusetts around the holidays. Getting to the airport is never an easy task, but with thick fog in sight and no planes taking off we waited for ten hours with a ten month old little baby at the airport waiting for a flight to leave. Our luggage, however, made it to our destination and we headed home without our belongings to take a morning flight the next day. The next day arrived and we came with a back-up set of luggage to attempt to make our trip again. Our flight left, and much to our delight, our back-up luggage did not arrive. Upon finding this out, I burst into tears.
How could these people lose a back-up set of luggage as well as our first set of luggage? Luckily, our first set of luggage arrived and we headed to our parent’s house for the holidays with luggage in tow. This was, of course, the perfect time for our son to have the stomach flu and this persisted throughout our entire trip. Let me tell you, taking a child on a plane who has the runs is definitely one of the worst experiences of my life. When we finally arrived back to our airport at home, we discovered that they had lost our luggage again along with our car seat to bring our son home in. We set my son in their death-trap of a seat that they offered and headed home- weary from travel and the pure irony of our vacation. The airport did finally deliver our luggage, but delivered it to the neighbor’s house where it was sent back to the airport and arrived on our doorstep a couple of weeks later. After that trip I looked at my husband and told him that we would no longer be traveling home for the holidays. Our family would have to come and see us or they would just have to imagine us there for the holidays because I was never doing that again.
That was a particularly horrible vacation, but vacations do not have to be a time of stress or something that you dread doing with your family. The actual definition of vacation is “a period of time devoted to pleasure, rest, or relaxation, especially one with pay granted to an employee.” Pleasure? Rest? Relaxation? That sounds like something that one might enjoy. Vacations can actually be an enjoyable experience for the whole family with the proper organization and activities for the children. Here are a few of Mom Advice’s ideas for how to successfully pull off an organized and enjoyable vacation.
Proper Planning
The key to organizing a good vacation is to take the time to plan. First, I would highly recommend contacting the local Visitor’s Bureau for a packet of information on what they offer. Usually these packets of information include coupons for local restaurants, hotels, and area attractions and will include things to do in their state. These packets can save you a bundle of money if you are planning to attend any of the places within the packet and often will include an area map and information on what makes their particular state famous. We got a packet like this for our recent trip to Ohio and it was filled with wonderful coupons and ideas for places that were particularly kid-friendly. Make sure to pack this information with you when making your trip.
Try to check out books from your local library on where you are going so that you can get lots of inside information on the great places to visit. Then make a list of things that are important to your family for you to do so that you can make the very most of your vacation.
Many places offer discounts on area attractions through online sites as well, if you purchase your tickets in advance. Check to see if you can get any discounts on your tickets before you go so you aren’t shelling out hundreds of dollars on admission tickets.
Don’t forget to make arrangements ahead of time with the post office and your local newspaper if you will be out of town for any length of time and are in need of stopping your mail. Also make any arrangements necessary for your pets if you will not be bringing them with you. Boarding your animal will require you to have all shots current so keep this in mind if you need to have this done before you go.
Proper Packing
One of the best ways to stay organized on your trip is to organize your car before leaving for your destination especially if you will be spending hours of time in the car. I remember our trips to Florida as kids and my sister and I referring to the minivan as the “blue prison” because we hated being in the car so long. Our mom would let us pack the things that we wanted to take on our trips and let’s face it- when you are a child you have no idea what to pack or what activities will keep you occupied for hours. Our parents could only play so many games of I Spy before going insane.
The first thing to do is to do a through cleaning out of your car before embarking on your trip. Sweep the interior of the car and wipe down all of the surfaces. Once the car is clean you can begin filling it with everything you need in order to make your trip enjoyable. A really great purchase for your car is a backseat organizer. I have my backseat organizer filled with everything we might need on our trip. I keep our Entertainment Book and visitor’s bureau packet in there as well as diapers, wipes (for faces and bottoms), snacks, a spare sippy cup, a pen (for jotting down directions), tissues, and small toys for my son to play with. We also keep a plastic bag organizer tied to the back of our seat filled with plastic grocery bags. These bags come in handy for soiled diapers, holding trash, quick clean-up from picnic lunches, or (when not traveling) trips to the grocery store.
I then pack a small plastic crate with toys that my son can play with on his trip. You can fill this crate up with favorite toys or begin to keep a stash of toys that you are saving for just this special occasion. You don’t have to go out and spend a bunch of money on these though- check your local dollar store, garage sales, or save all of those silly kid’s meal toys that you get when you go out to eat. Some of the things that we keep in our son’s crate are puzzles, construction paper for drawing on, crayons and coloring books, a few “new” library books, and a few small toy cars and figurines that are his favorites. The idea is to really space the toys out as much as you can so that they have something to do the entire trip.
When we run out of activities in his box to do that is when we move onto the kiddy music. Try to find music that is at least bearable for the entire family so that you don’t need to pop aspirin in order to bear the music. We usually check out a load of music at the library before going on our trip so that there is something good to listen to on the way there. Don’t forget to pack some new music for yourself as well so that you too have something to look forward to.
Keep a small cooler in your car for the trip and fill this with lots of healthy goodies for the whole family so that you don’t end up blowing a bunch of money at the rest stops on your way there. Try to have lots of snacks on hand, lunch meat, bread, drinks, and breakfast foods/ cereal. This food particularly comes in handy if you are going to be gone for awhile and would like to save money on eating out.
The most important thing to remember is directions to your destination. The source I use the most for printing my directions is Map Quest, though Google Maps is also excellent. Not only do I print out directions TO my destination, but I also print out directions RETURNING from my destination. Yes, some people just reverse the order, but I find it much quicker to have a set in front of me that has already been reversed, especially when I am tired and coming near the end of my vacation. On these directions, include any phone numbers you need (number for the hotel or places you are staying at) and any notes on things you need to remember (confirmation numbers, room numbers, etc.). Staple to these directions any coupons you need for your destination (coupons on car rental, hotels, or restaurants) so that you have everything in one central location.
When packing your suitcases remember to check the weather for an accurate portrayal of the weather in the area you are visiting. Nothing is more uncomfortable then not having the proper attire for your vacation. Bringing layers of clothing insures that you will be comfortable whatever the weather. Keep an umbrella handy in your car as well for any unexpected rain.
Fill zippered plastic bags with your shampoos, lotions, and anything else that might leak or spill in your suitcase. The last thing you want to do is to have to do laundry when you are on your trip- this should ensure that you will not have spilled products to take care of.
Don’t forget the little things that can add up to big money spent if you forget them on your trip. Things that are frequently forgotten: cameras, digital cameras, chargers for cameras, film, extra batteries, sunglasses, cell phones, cell phone chargers, calling cards, swimsuits, and maps. Keep a list of all the things you want to remember the day of your trip and check that list twice. A great place to keep the list is next to your bedside table because usually the night before your trip your mind is racing with all the things you need to remember. Jot them down and then get the rest you need and deserve.
Pleasure, Rest, and Relaxation
Review the meaning of vacation and enjoy the time away from home. Make it a time that your whole family can remember with great fondness and remember to record these moments in your journal so that you can look back on them on those hectic days where no vacation is in site. If you are a family that is always on a schedule, then use this time to not be on a schedule. If you enjoy having a planned itinerary then by all means, plan the days the way that makes you and your family happy. The important thing is to enjoy pleasure, rest, and relaxation.
Enjoy your hiatus and happy vacationing!
Give me an S-U-C-K!!
June 7th, 2005Have you all had the opportunity to catch the show, “Sports Kids Moms & Dads?” Before this show was featured on Oprah, I had already set my Tivo for it. I thought it would be great to see just how talented these kiddos were and how their parents dealt with their talent. Sounds like a fun show about kids and their parents, doesn’t it? Ummm….not exactly!
So here are the parenting lessons I learned just from the very first episode- I feel like my parenting has GREATLY improved by just observing these fantastic parents.
1) Tell your kid that they suck….repeatedly. In case they didn’t pick up on your rude tone make sure to truly emphasize the word SUCK. Tell them that they will never amount to anything and ask them what they thought they were doing when they decided to ruin their game ON PURPOSE and let everyone in their lives down. Then give them a hug and tell them you love them.
2) If they cry, give them ten seconds. If they cry for fifteen- kick them in the groin and tell them to BUCK UP! Tell them that this is the game of life and currently they are playing like a loser. Then refer again to step one just in case they forgot the part about sucking.
3) Tell them that they do such a crappy job at their practices that to watch them makes you, “Feel like you are going to throw up and be physically ill.” Make sure to remind them that just seeing how lousy they do at practice brings you physical pain & torture. Don’t forget to let them know that it is their fault that you can’t keep your food down.
4) Remind them every single day how much their practices cost you- time, money, gas, whatever. Make sure that you add five thousand dollars to that number just to make sure that they feel extra guilty about all of the money that you are basically wasting just hoping that SOMEDAY they might show some stinking talent.
5) Tell them they suck….wait! Did we already cover that one?
Seriously, the show was just unbelievable and the parents on it made me cringe. The parents reminded me of a few not-so-fun mommies that I got the pleasure of dealing with when I was enrolled in dance (I am sure that you know what type of mommy I am talking about).
I am hoping, in my heart of hearts, that my son wants to play sports because I have always envisioned myself as one of those happy little soccer moms sitting up in the bleachers cheering my little heart out for my little guy. The first year he was born, jokingly, I bought a t-shirt from Old Navy that said, “Soccer Mom Car Services.”
Hopefully he will want to play soccer because I was never athletic and all we want for him is the best in the world. We will, of course, give our little one the choice of playing soccer or living with a homeless man on the street corner begging for money. We would never want to put pressure on him, but living a life on the streets versus playing ball….well, I think you all can see my point…I am hoping that Ethan will see our point too.
So with all of the cheerleader spirit that this preggo mom can muster, I am throwing out a good ol’……Gooooo Team!!
Summer Vacation Survival Tips
May 31st, 2005The summer season is here and along with it comes summer vacation for the school-aged kids. Moms are now responsible for coming up with the ideas and curriculum for their children and I am the first to admit that by the summer my creative juices have just about run out. How can you make summer another time of fun and enjoyment rather than boredom? And just how do you do this on a budget? There are lots of great things that you can do this summer and ways to keep organized when doing it. Here are a few of MomAdvice’s suggestions for summer survival:
Mini-Vacations
Rather than taking one long vacation in the summer, break your vacations into smaller and more affordable activities. Some suggestions are hitting area zoos, amusement parks, local festivals, and museums. By taking smaller vacations, you have a few things to look forward to rather than just one event. Check out some books from your local library on activities that you can do within your own state and then research on how to get the best price. Talk about your vacation plans with friends and see if they know of any places that are cheap to stay at or where you can get coupons for money off of tickets. Ask your library as well if they offer any season passes that you can take advantage of. One of our local libraries had a pass to the art museum which library patrons could check out for the day gaining them free admittance into the local museums and galleries. We checked these out and saved thirty dollars every time we hit one of these places. Call in advance though because you may be competing with another family for the same day.
If you are planning a vacation to another state or even within your own state, visit the state’s visitor’s bureau website to get a packet of information and coupons for the state. For example, we were planning a trip to Cedar Point in Ohio so I requested a packet of information to be sent to me by the visitor’s bureau. Within this packet of information was a gold mine of coupons for the amusement park including buy one get one free admissions which saved us over twenty-five dollars.
Stocking Up
With the summer season comes a whole new set of things that you will need to be stocked up on. With children home from school, you are now the one who is to come up with the creative lunches and snacks for the kids. Try and keep the fridge well-stocked with lots of fresh vegetables, fruits, whole grain breads, meats, and cheeses so that you can quickly make sandwiches and can avoid spending money at the drive-thru. Having items on hand that children can make themselves will also take some pressure off of you for providing the meal.
A great way to save time on cleaning up after your meals is by taking advantage of the pleasant weather and dining outside. Our family does a lot of eating outside on our patio furniture which makes for easy clean-up. When it is just my son and I though, we eat outside on a plastic mat “picnic-style”. We love to do this and the mat only requires a quick shake and clean-up is a breeze.
We also purchased a small cooler lunchbox for our day trips out which is a great investment for the family. We take this everywhere and fill it with the day’s lunch or snacks while we are out. Filling this with healthy snacks and food will save you money as well as saving you from a less than healthy trip to the drive-thru when you are out on one of your day trips or just running errands. This cooler can also be used when grocery shopping for keeping your ice cream and meats at cool temperatures.
Another great purchase for your car is a seat organizer where you can stick books and toys in for the kids as well as diapers, wet wipes, and maps to get to your destination. Don’t forget to pack a towel for brushing off after those trips to the beach as well.
A kiddie pool and sandbox can be a great investment for the summer as well for the younger kids. My son spends hours playing in his sandbox and kiddy pool and the investment was small compared to the hours of enjoyment he can get from these. If a family member is looking for a gift this summer for a birthday or just because, suggest buying one of these items so that you don’t have to pay for these yourself. We asked for these items for our son’s birthday and also used our anniversary money to put towards a family zoo pass for the summer.
Don’t forget to stock up on all of those fun summer toys for the kids to play with outside. You can stock up on a lot of your fun summer items over at the local Dollar Store. We purchase sidewalk chalk, sandbox tools and toys, bubbles, and water guns. They offer a wide variety of fun summer toys that won’t break the bank. You can also make a couple of these yourself with these recipes.
Super Sidewalk Paint
¼ cup cornstarch
¼ cup cold water
6-8 drops of food coloring
Directions: Mix cornstarch and cold water together in a small plastic bowl. Add food coloring and stir. Repeat this process to creat different colors of Super Sidewalk Paint. Super Sidewalk Paint can easily be washed away with water
Treasure Stones
1 cup flour
1 cup used coffee grinds
½ cup salt
¼ cup sand
¾ cup water
Directions: Mix all dry ingredients together in a medium bowl. Slowly add water and knead until the mixture is the consistency of bread dough. Break off a piece of dough and roll it into the size of a baseball. Make a hole in the center of the ball big enough to hide treasures in. Fill the hole with treasures and seal with some extra dough. Let your treasure stone air dry for two or three days or until hard or bake in the oven on a cookie sheet at 150 degrees for fifteen to twenty minutes. If you would like to tin your Treasure Stone, add one tablespoon of powder tempera paint to tint.
Water Balloon Yo-Yo
1 small balloon
1 large rubber band
Directions: Cut the rubber band in half. Tie a loop securely on one end of the rubber band. It should be big enough to fit around your finger. Use a garden hose or water faucet to fill the balloon ¼ of the way with water. Blow air into the balloon until it is the size of a tennis ball. Tie the balloon shut. Securely tie the rubber band around theknot on the balloon. Place the rubber band loop around your middle finger and gently throw the balloon toward the ground. When the balloon springs back toward your hand, try to grab it.
Rainy days during the summer can be particularly difficult for children and parents alike. A great way to make these days go by quicker is by keeping lots of craft supplies on hand. You can also print out free printable coloring pages and crafts through dltk-kids.com. We keep lots of construction paper, play dough, crayons, and coloring books on hand for fun and creative activities during the day.
Keep in mind that your library can be a wonderful summer resource for your family. Obviously, the library offers lot of great summer reading to help you get through those rainy days, but try to look past just the literature and ask your children’s librarian what types of summer reading and activities they offer. I still remember as a child that the library offered a great summer reading program that worked in conjunction with our local Pizza Hut where we received stars for meeting reading goals that could be used towards food at the restaurant. This motivated me so much as a child that I read many more books then I had anticipated. Setting reading goals during the summer can be very rewarding for children. Make sure to ask your child’s teacher for a reading list of books that they should be reading in preparation for the next grade. If your child is not reading yet, be sure to take advantage of this time to read to them. It truly is amazing the power literature has on our minds and speech development.
Don’t Over Schedule
For some reason many parents tend to go overboard on the summer classes and activities. I remember as a child how much I enjoyed just running around through the sprinklers, getting ice cream, or taking a trip to the park. I do not remember as clearly the classes that I took or the activities that my parents had paid for. It is so important to allow our kids to be kids! Kids really do remember the little outings that you do with them and often these outings and time spent with them have a greater impact then four weeks of camp will.
Remember that this is their summer vacation. I know that I do not enjoy having every single minute of my vacation booked with things to do; likewise children enjoy having some downtime. Try to keep this in mind when signing them up for various summer programs. Maybe allowing your child to pick one or two activities during the summer will be more manageable for both you (the driver) and your child.
Making Memories
Most importantly, enjoy your summer to its fullest… Whether it is long lazy days of lounging by the kiddie pool or a fun-filled summer chock full of day trips and activities- try to make it a summer to remember. I am filling my son’s memory book up this summer of all the wonderful things we have gotten to do. I always think that I will remember each and every moment with him- the smells of the hot dogs on the grill, the sand between our toes as we play for hours in his sandbox, or his sweet face full of fascination at the tiny bugs crawling on his swing set, but all too quickly it is gone. Put your pen to paper this summer and lovingly write those memories down so someday you and your child can reminisce over the beauty of that hot summer of his youth and all that you shared together during those wonderful months.
Baby’s Mama Drama
May 17th, 2005Well, I finally have some good news to share with our readers- we are expecting another baby! It only took almost two years, a lot of crying, and a (near) trip to the mental hospital, but I am happy to report that we will be expecting another little bundle of joy sometime at the end of December.
I couldn’t blog because this pregnancy has consumed every last waking thought for me these days. In January, I had suffered a miscarriage, so the news that we were finally expecting was met with some apprehension and VERY nervous happiness.
We have already got to see our baby twice through ultrasound so having a “higher risk” pregnancy definitely gets you in for ultrasounds, appointments, and blood work a lot quicker. It is comforting to see the little heart beating and to know that all is right in our little one’s world this time. I had never realized how blessed I was with such a perfect pregnancy as I had with our Ethan, but I will never take that for granted again.
Thank you to those of you who prayed for us and cared for us during these past two years- we couldn’t have gotten to this point without your support & love. Cheers to another little bundle of joy & another source of inspiration for the site & the blog!!!! None of this would be possible without this whole motherhood thang.
Diaper Bag Essentials
May 16th, 2005There was a time in my life when I could hop in the car, carrying only a purse, and head out the door with absolutely no planning. Ah, those were the days! Upon having our son though, I realized that any trip out the door had to be a well-executed one and it often took hours just to get ready for our destination. As he has gotten older, I can now stash the essential items he needs conveniently in my gigantic mommy purse, but those days of enormous diaper bags are definitely not far from my memory. Here is a list of my own essential diaper bag items.
Diapers
Obviously, if we are packing a “diaper” bag, we will need diapers. But how many diapers do you need? This will depend on the length of the trip and the age of your child. When they are infants, they are being changed every hour so a diaper per hour would suffice. This amount of diapers would only get you by, however, if you have no explosive emergencies. It was my rule of thumb to carry what I needed and to add two just to be safe. I would rather carry a heavier diaper bag then be stuck with a nasty emergency without the necessary tools I would need to resolve it.
Diaper Cream
Sore bottoms can happen at any time and it is good to always have some diaper cream on hand when a rash strikes.
Wipes
Wipes are handy, not only for wiping little bottoms, but also for wiping messy faces. I usually carry a big sack of them with me because I use them to wipe bottoms, faces, and runny noses. Store these wipes in an airtight container to retain the moisture in them. You can also make your own wipes with this wonderful recipe:
Homemade Baby wipes
Ingredients
- Strong paper towels work the best (for example, Brawny).
- 2 cups water
- 1/2 cup of baby oil
- 1/2 cup baby magic baby bath
Directions
- Cut one roll of paper towels in half.
- Take out the core so wipes pull out of the center.
- Place 1/2 roll of paper towels in container.
- Pour solution over towels.
- Store in container. Makes 2 1/2 rolls.
Changing Pad
You never know where you will end up changing your baby and you also never can tell what the sanitary conditions will be like where you are. Keep a changing pad in your diaper bag and use a soft burp cloth for layering if the surface is too hard for your little one.
Antibacterial Gel & Wipes
Antibacterial gel really comes in handy after you have changed a dirty diaper. The wipes will also come in handy when you have to set your child in a germ-infested grocery cart, on playground equipment, or just to give your kids a good swiping after another child has sneezed on them. Trust me, you are a mother, and it is okay to be a little germaphobic especially when you are a new mommy.
Burp Cloths
These are wonderful not only for all of that spit-up, but they can also be essential in padding your changing table or cushioning a little head.
Zipper Bags
Zipper bags are one of those things that you just can’t live without especially in the early years. These bags are perfect for storing those soiled diapers, as well as soiled clothing. These items can really leave an odor in your bag, if you have nowhere to dispose of them, so tuck a couple of dryer sheets in for good measure to keep your bag smelling fresh.
Clothing
Store, at least, one extra outfit for any diaper emergency. Nothing is worse than having a soiled outfit and nothing for you to change your child into. Trust me on this one- I have been there!
Feeding Supplies
Feeding supplies can mean an array of things depending on what stage your child is at and what you are feeding them. If your child is formula-fed, bottles and extra formula will be needed. For children on solid foods, they may baby food, spoons, bowls, and a small snack for the road.
Pain Reliever
It may seem like this is not a diaper bag essential, but pain relievers are a necessary component to a diaper bag. Keep acetaminophen or ibuprofen in your bag to provide pain relief. This is good to have on hand for your doctor visits when your child receives shots or when a fever or illness comes on suddenly. A teething gel is also good to have on hand when your child’s gums are swollen and painful from cutting teeth.
Blanket
A blanket is great to keep your child warm when they are chilly, can be used to cover an area where they are sitting, and also can keep your child’s head propped up when they are unable to hold their head up by themselves. Blankets are also useful for your baby’s doctor check-ups because they can keep the child warm when they must be unclothed for their doctor visit.
Entertainment
Be sure to have a couple of toys or books on hand to provide entertainment for your child when you are out and about. The amount of entertainment you need can vary on the child’s age, but you never know how long you will have to wait for your appointments or when standing in line so be prepared.
Extra Goodies
A couple of other extra goodies that you might like to keep on hand are your cell phone, a water bottle, a snack for yourself, and nursing pads.
I know that the list is long, but as your child gets older your list will get shorter. We are now able to throw a couple of toys, a cup of juice, a snack, a couple of diapers, and a pack of wipes in our bag and walk out the door instead of all of the items listed above. Tailoring down our diaper bag essentials was something that our family looked forward to and it is nice to be able to leave the house with everything stored neatly in my purse.
Please be sure to visit our printable Diaper Bag Checklist for a quick list of what you need to get out the door. This checklist can be conveniently placed in the pocket of your diaper bag or tacked on your refrigerator to be checked off before heading out the door.
It is difficult to remember all you need when you are a new and tired mother so let us do the work for you! This tool can hopefully aid you in having a stress-free outing with your child and help you to be prepared for all of those little baby emergencies.
Finding a Moms Group
May 6th, 2005Becoming a mom was both an exciting and scary time for me. I returned back to work full-time and, despite these great changes in my life, found that my work & friendships resumed back to what they were before I had my child. I still had people to talk to and was not really seeking anyone or anything else in my life. My life was busy and my days were full with working, caring for my child, and maintaining our home.
Upon relocating to a different state, I was thrown into the world of being a stay-at-home mother. I would never complain about being a stay-at-home mom because it has been a dream come true for me, but I lost that contact with the outside world and also with the friends that I had made.
The day we moved, I began to search frantically on the internet to find a mom’s support group. I knew that I needed friends desperately and I also wanted my son to have other children to interact with. I ran across a Mother’s & More group, and knew that I had finally found peace & the human interaction that I was looking for. The group offered everything I was looking for and more. My very first meeting, I handed over my membership dues and eagerly anticipated each and every activity. It was my life support and I know now that having this group brought me more satisfaction then I dreamed possible.
While I am crazy about Mothers & More, I believe any mother’s support system that you can find can be beneficial to any mother. As a mother, we are all looking for different things in a support system. Some people join to educate themselves on topics about parenting, others are looking for playgroups where their children can play, some are looking for volunteer opportunities, and others are just looking for other mothers to talk to. Whatever your reason may be for finding a support group, know that having a good support system can really be beneficial to you especially if you are a stay-at-home mother.
I have put together a list of support groups that are nationally (and sometimes internationally) known for providing support to mothers:
MOMS (Mothers Offering Mothers Support) Club
What It Is
This group is geared towards stay-at-home moms. The group meets during the day and they allow children at all of their meetings. The childcare is provided by volunteer members who supervise the children while the mothers meet.
History
This group was started in 1983 by a stay-at-home mother because she was looking for a group that met during the day and where her children could accompany her at her meetings.
What Do They Offer
This group offers volunteer opportunities, a newsletter, and meetings.
Membership
There are 1500 chapters with over 75,000 members. This group offers chapters in both the United States and internationally.
Cost
Member dues are low and between $15-30 per year. They keep member dues at a minimum because they know that these moms make a financial sacrifice to be home with their children.
National Organization of Mothers of Twins Club
What It Is
Are you the parent of twins? Triplets? Quads? Quints? More? If you are the parent of multiple children, then this group is for you. This group offers local groups for Mothers of Twins (MOTC), Mothers of Multiples (MOMC) or a Parents of Multiples Clubs (POMC).
History
This group was founded in 1960 to promote the special aspects of child development which relate specifically to multiple birth children.
What Do They Offer
This group offers monthly meetings discussing the care and development of multiple birth children, as well as other topics of interest. Clothing & equipment exchanges and club libraries are some of the other invaluable services.
Membership
There is a network of more than 475 local clubs representing over 23,000 individual parents of multiples, twins, triplets, & quads.
Cost
Member dues are $9 per member.
Holistic Moms Network
What It Is
This group is for mothers who have an interest in holistic health in parenting. This group is not limited to just moms though because they open their membership up to dads, grandparents, and the partners of the mothers as well. They welcome nursing infants and toddlers at all of their meetings and you are encouraged to breastfeed at all of their events.
History
This group was started in 2002 by a support group in New Jersey . These people came together because they were looking for support and friendship from others who shared the same ideals.
What Do They Offer
The group meets at least once per month. Some of the groups offer playgroups as well.
Membership
There are no statistics on the amount of groups there are at this time, however, new groups are added all of the time. Check the Chapters page for information about groups in your community.
Cost
Member dues are $35 per year and $50 for a family membership (self & spouse/partner).
Mocha (Mothers of Color At Home) Moms
What It Is
This is a support group for mothers of color who are choosing to be stay-at-home moms.
History
This group was started in 1997 by two mothers through a newsletter called, “Mocha Moms” in hopes of connecting with other mothers of color. The newsletter grew into a support network and they were incorporated in 1999.
What Do They Offer
This group offers support meetings on topics pertinent to you as a stay-at-home mom, community service projects, mom’s only night outs, and kid’s socials. They also offer volunteer leadership positions and the first online magazine publication for stay-at-home moms of color, “Mommy Too.”
Membership
There are 1500 chapters with over 75,000 members. This group offers chapters in both the United States and internationally.
Cost
They offer two types of membership, local chapter affiliations and at-large membership. The local chapter affiliations are $20 per year and this gains you access to anything in your local chapter. The at-large membership is $10 and offers participation in national, regional, state, and online activities.
Mothers & More
What It Is
This group offers support to moms and champions the value of work that all mothers do whether it be paid or unpaid.
History
This group was founded in 1987 by a mother who had left the workforce after the birth of her first child. The group was originally called F.E.M.A.L.E. (Formerly Employed Mothers at Loose Ends) and is now called Mothers & More to reflect the additional roles mothers play during their active parenting years.
What Do They Offer
They offer meetings with topical discussions, guest speakers, mom’s night out activities, playgroups, family outings, and more. Each chapter has its own unique personality and adapts to the needs of their particular members. They also offer volunteer positions both locally and nationally.
Membership
The group serves over 7,500 mothers in the United States and beyond.
Cost
Member dues are $45 per year and this gains you access to both the local & national activities and publications.
MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) International
What It Is
This is a group that celebrates motherhood, aids in meeting a mother’s needs, and a group that helps mothers experience God’s love through relationships and resources. They nurture and provide acceptance to all types of mothers- teens, urban, suburban, etc.
History
The group was started in 1973 with a group that met in Colorado. They met together for two hours, did a craft together, and ended their meeting with a short devotion.
What Do They Offer
MOPS meets in local churches and offers meetings on a variety of topics related to your role as a mother and in parenting. They offer childcare for your children while you meet. Their meeting consists of a teaching segment or presentation by one or more of the members which focuses on parenting, marriage, and other issues, a small discussion lead by members, a craft for the moms, and social time. In addition, they offer leadership retreats and a monthly newsletter.
Membership
There are more than 3200 MOPS groups meeting across the United States and in 33 countries around the world. Groups vary in size and there can be anywhere between 10-200 members in each group.
Cost
Meeting fees vary due to the fact that churches can support these fees through their ministry or through fundraising efforts of the group.
La Leche League, International
What It Is
This group provides support and encouragement to breastfeeding mothers.
History
The group has been around since 1956 when they had their very first meeting in a member’s home. At the time, breastfeeding had dropped down close to twenty percent.
What Do They Offer
The group offers monthly meetings, a bimonthly magazine, and telephone assistance for mothers with breastfeeding questions. They also offer discounts on breastfeeding items and La Leche League Publications, and regional & international conferences.
Membership
La Leche League groups are all over the world and new groups are forming all of the time. Visit their website to learn how you can start your own La Leche League group.
Cost
Membership dues are $36.
National Association of Mothers Centers (NAMC)
What It Is
This is a non-profit umbrella organization which includes more than 50 mother’s centers across the country.
History
These centers have been around since 1975.
What Do They Offer
Mothers’ Centers are self sustaining, non-profit groups where mothers meet, engage in discussion groups, enjoy a respite from their child caretaking role (childcare is available while the Mothers’ participate in groups), and help keep their center going through cooperative responsibility. Center members can use their expertise and talents while trying out new skills.
Membership
This group has more than 50 mother’s centers across the country.
Conclusion:
If you are unable to find a mother’s group in your area, think about starting a group in your own town. You are not alone in looking for relief from isolation and the need to feel validated for what you do. On each website they have provided information on starting your own group.
If you are still looking for other moms to talk with, look on meetup.com and see if there are any groups of women meeting and looking for the same things as you.
Whatever you do, know that you are not alone. Also know that there are other people, just like you, who are looking for friendship and encouragement in this crazy adventure we call “motherhood.”
Developmental Toys
May 4th, 2005When I was pregnant with my first child a friend said to me, “You know, you don’t need to buy many toys for a child. Just make sure you have some Tupperware, a cardboard box, some plastic measuring cups, and a wooden spoon and she’ll be happy”. I chuckled at the time, thinking “How many toys can one little baby need?”, but by my child’s first birthday I was no longer chuckling. Toys seemed to spontaneously generate in our living room. There were dozens of things that people told me my child needed . Mothers in my play group didn’t ask IF we had something, but HOW MANY we had. I received emails regularly from toy companies touting their latest toys that my child needed to have to develop on target. I conscientiously read all labels, did safety checks, scanned Amazon reviews, and kept checklists to make sure that I got my child what she needed when she needed it and that it was safe and reliable.
Then one day, after I had had my second child and the toy parade had started up its encore, I decided to stop the madness. What did my child really need? I certainly survived childhood (and even came out okay) without all these things to stimulate my left brain, my right brain, my intellect through music, and the many, many electronic items that cause my husband and I to purchase batteries each time we’re near a Target. I took a step back and thought about what we had that we really needed, versus what we enjoyed. The following article covers items that I feel really do contribute to a child’s development. Please note that it is NOT an all-inclusive list. I’m sure there are more things out there, or your own child may have benefited from or loved another item. These are not the “items any mother can’t live without” but my own personal take on “the type of toys that you should invest in since they contribute to a child’s development in his/her first 18 months”. Feel free to add to this list through one of the Mom Advice forums!
For the littlest ones, let’s start with toys that promote sensorimotor development. Rattles encourage reaching and grabbing and help motor skills development. Mobiles encourage visual tracking and reaching. Textures, such as rough, soft, crinkly, etc. give varying kinesthetic responses for your baby. Setting interesting toys just out of reach while on the floor encourages a slightly older baby (4+ months) to reach, roll, or crawl. Having an unbreakable mirror available for “tummy time” is fun for the baby and encourages beginning social skills.
As the child grows, ride-on toys that roll or rock are good for gross motor skill development. Soft balls for throwing and catching are great for outdoors or indoors. A larger, soft ball for rolling, kicking, and throwing with both hands is useful, too.
Language is an area that most parents focus on, and the best way to promote these skills is by talking to your child. (This is even free!). Naming items, talking to your baby whether he or she can understand the words or not, singing, and reading to your child are all important. The importance of reading to your child can’t be underemphasized. However, I have noticed that children’s books are as expensive, if not more, than adult books! The public library can be a super resource for the family. Many libraries also have baby or toddler programs with story time, etc. Books are plentiful and free. Most libraries also hold book sales where you can get children’s books at a bargain. Garage sales and discount websites are good bets, too.
Speaking of books, I’m often asked my opinion on the many electronic books available today. Here’s what I think: they are fun but not necessary. A good, old-fashioned book will do everything you need it to just by being a good story. (I read some interesting research through the International Reading Association recently that suggests that these electronic books are actually a bit of a distraction for “readers”. They are best for preschool and older children who already have the concept of a story (beginning, middle, end, etc.) to enhance the story as opposed to distracting from the language for younger ones).
While we’re on the subject of books, I can’t resist mentioning the oh-so-popular “video board books” that are ubiquitous these days. Do we own them? Yes. Do I like them? Yes. Are they essential for good development? No. There is nothing in these DVD’s that you can’t get from a classical music CD and a good book. (However, I do love how they calm the kids at “fussy time”!!).
This leads me to music, or more specifically classical music. When I was first pregnant I picked up a “brain builder” CD of classical music (for $17.99). I was shocked to see that it was all music I already owned. There was no big secret here. It was basically a lovely selection of classical pieces. Additionally the research on the “brain benefits” of classical music is pretty shaky; however, I’m a big believer in exposing kids to music (not just classical), so a good radio station, or calming CD’s, or favorite digital music station on television is always okay in my book.
As young children develop spatial skills, their cognitive skills develop as well. That’s why is useful to have some simple toys around to build these important skills. Stacking/nesting cups or blocks are usually cheap (mine were $2.99 at Target) but focus on important skills. “Shape sorters” are good, too, to develop cognitive skills and hand-eye coordination. And, I just can’t say enough good about old-fashioned blocks. These can be an essential tool for development that correlates with later math skills (there’s great research out of Boston College on this). I have noticed, though, that it can be hard to find old-fashioned, wooden building blocks, and once I found them I nearly fell over when I saw the price. However, they are a good investment for both boys and girls.
These months from birth to 18 months are key for developing so many skills. Children’s play is largely motor driven at first, and then exploratory. Language is critical, and you want to continue to foster those important language skills with your children through play. By 12-18 months, little ones are ready for a bit more challenge with play, and you can introduce crayons and markers to build motor and spatial skills (and foster creativity!), puzzles for perceptual organization develop, and “imaginary play” items, such as a play kitchen, tool bench, or dress-up clothes.
And, of course, everyone (at all ages!) needs at least one good “lovey”!
The Real Story
April 27th, 2005It has been awhile since I have blogged about my personal life and I am sure you are all dying to get a little glimpse into my real life so I am going to do a “real” blog today.
Can I just say, where the heck did all of my time go? I am running around like a chicken with its head cut off and am accomplishing very little these days.
When I started my website I thought to myself, “Wow! Wouldn’t it be great if like two of my friends came on my site and we pretended like I was a writer? Wouldn’t that be so much fun?” I started my website and thought what a nice little release it would be for me to feel like I had a little place in the internet world.
This began as my little great idea that would take a little bit of my valuable time and it has turned into a monster in time suckage.
Here was my typical day…
Eat breakfast with Ethan
Watch cartoons
Play with toys
Take a nap
Work on errands/cleaning house/paying bills
Make dinner
Watch Tivo
Eat snack
Hit the sack
Now here is my typical day…
Wake up groggy because I spent the whole night thinking about what I should have been doing while sleeping and coming up with brilliant ideas that I want to write about when I have “free time”
Have coffee- skip breakfast because who the heck has time for that?
Check email, check email, check email
Check site for latest posts- come up with something great for the forum
Check Google to see if we made any money
Check the statistics of the site to make sure we had visitors
Get quoted for magazines (yes, as unbelievable as that is….)
Answer phone all morning from friends that I have neglected and generally feel like crap
Apologize to family for not keeping in better touch and never letting them see our family
Feel like crap because I can’t get everything done
Check my email!
Answer phone to people who have confused voices thinking that they are calling a company and realize that I really am a mom who stays home as they try to listen to me over the sound of my child laughing/screaming/crying as I change him. Then hear disappointment in their voices as they realize that I am what I say I am.
Play with my son and feel guilty as he watches television while I run around trying to clean house/pay bills/grumble to myself about not enough time.
Check email, check Google, check statistics
Ethan takes a nap- I write
Make a pathetic attempt at dinner and apologize as I am too tired to be more inventive
Check email, check Google, check statistics.
Watch ten minutes of television with hubby on respective couches.
Try to read for ten minutes, but realize that I am too distracted to devote more than three minutes to any one thing.
Collapse.
I now realize why I see websites shutting down all the time because people just don’t have time anymore. I also see the potential in outsourcing help from China and the potential in child-slave labor- I feel like they can write about menu-planning just as well as I can, right??
So when you see me and I am a scattered ball of nerves and you feel like I have no time for you, please understand and don’t make me feel more guilty than I already do- I am just a mom who stays at home and wants more than anything to relax the way I once did.