What to Do When Date Nights Aren’t Possible

February 16th, 2016

From our marriage & parenting contributor, Mary Carver.

What to Do When Date Nights are Impossible | MomAdvice.com

“And, whatever you do, make sure you have regular date nights with your spouse.”

Has anyone else ever read an article or listened to a speaker or even chatted with a friend or mentor, heard everyone’s favorite marriage advice (“Go on dates! Regularly!”), and just rolled your eyes? Or felt defeated or depressed, because clearly you will never have a healthy relationship without those magical date nights? Or wondered where everyone else is finding the extra money, time and energy it takes to make Date Night happen?

Yeah, me too.

Last week my husband and I sat down with our marriage counselor. When he asked what we wanted to talk about, I hesitated. What I really wanted to talk about was not feeling connected enough to my husband over the last several weeks, a particularly busy season in our lives. But I didn’t. Because I knew we’d just circle around the fact that we don’t schedule enough date nights and how date nights are important and blah-blah-blah DATE NIGHTS.

Sigh.

Don’t get me wrong. Our counselor is great (evidenced by our now infrequent visits with him), and I’m all for date nights. But I don’t think they are the only solution for every marital bump in the road; I don’t think they are a magical formula for preventing divorce or relationship stress. And I know without a doubt that they are not nearly as simple to schedule as the world of marriage advice-givers would have us believe.

[Side note: I realize that I have, in the past, been one of those marriage advice-givers touting the benefits of date nights. Here, here and here for starters. That’s because it’s a good idea and I believe in it. I just know it’s not always feasible. So there. And yes, maybe I’ll go on a date by myself now. “Hypocrite, party of one…”]

ANYWAY. The truth is that we all know spending time together is crucial for relationship success. And regular date nights are clearly a fun way to do this and the thing we all aim for. But sometimes, date nights just aren’t an option.

Sometimes you can’t afford a babysitter.
Sometimes you can’t find a babysitter.
Sometimes you’re tired. Or sick. Or busy.
Sometimes your kids are sick.
Sometimes you have to work. Or he does.

Sometimes the thought of finding a babysitter, making a reservation, looking up movie times, digging out a pair of shoes that are going to make your feet hurt, or even just finding a shirt that isn’t stained or stretched out and still fits IS JUST TOO MUCH.

So what then? What do we do when date nights just aren’t possible? Do we give up? Collapse on opposite sides of the couch with one eye on Facebook and another on the clock because bedtime can’t come soon enough? Do we give up on leaving the house together and take turns hanging out with friends? Separately?

No way! I mean, yes, sure, occasionally we might do all of those things. But, for the love, we cannot give up completely on the idea of date nights with our husbands. We simply need to redefine “date night” and make those sweet times of connection work for us.

If you’re finding it hard to “go on regular date nights,” here are a few things you can try instead.

 

Movie Night: Rent a movie and curl up on the couch to watch. (Or save a few episodes of “your show” – the one you only watch together, no matter how many episodes are backed up on the DVR or waiting on Netflix.)

Do Lunch: Meet for lunch or go out for breakfast or grab coffee – anything away from the norm (and the kids and the house and the to-do lists) is a chance to connect with your spouse! It doesn’t have to be on a Friday or Saturday night.

Play Games: Break out the Monopoly board or challenge him to a few lightning rounds of Words with Friends.

Get Cooking: Feed the kids some mac and cheese, put them to bed, and then head back to the kitchen – for fun, this time. Try a new recipe together. Pick out a few ingredients and play Chopped at home. Make a copycat version of your favorite restaurant meal.

Ask Questions: Buy a stack of conversation starter cards or look for lists of “get to know you” questions online. Take a personality test and read each others’ results.

Go to Bed Early: Don’t make me elaborate here. You know what I mean.

The point is that we need to connect with our spouses. But if we aren’t able to dress up and go somewhere that requires reservations or tickets or a long drive or whatever it is that makes this whole plan feel impossible, we can still connect. Date night can be whatever you make it – whenever, wherever, whatever!

What do YOU do when date nights feel impossible?

 

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Sheet Pan Lemon Paprika Chicken and Veggies

February 15th, 2016

Sheet Pan Lemon Paprika Chicken and Veggies from MomAdvice.com

I heard from so many of you that you loved and have already created our Sheet Pan Ranch Chops and Veggies this week in your kitchens. It makes me so happy to hear that you are enjoying these recipes so I thought I would experiment with another sheet pan combination this week and it ended up being an even bigger hit than the last one! This Sheet Pan Lemon Paprika Chicken with Brussels Sprout & Potatoes tastes like a well-seasoned rotisserie chicken with oven roasted veggies that my daughter proclaimed was my best creation in the kitchen yet.

I wanted to take the flavors that I loved so much in that Lemon Paprika Chicken that was swimming in a beautiful white wine sauce, a beautiful Sunday meal, and translate those flavors in a basic weeknight meal that could be all slid onto a pan and ready for a family in 30 minutes. With a basic marinade of lemon juice, olive oil, garlic, thyme, and paprika this creates a flavorful skin on the kitchen and a beautiful color on it too.

The potatoes and brussels sprouts are diced and tossed in a simply with olive oil, salt, and pepper, but taste rich and heavenly thanks to that chicken fat that they swim in.

Sheet Pan Lemon Paprika Chicken and Veggies from MomAdvice.com

This weekend we hosted a family of six for the first time to share a meal with them. Serving ten people can sounds a little intimidating for a meal, but I didn’t want to revert to just ordering a pizza for the evening. I doubled this recipe and there was hardly a speck left.  Not only did the parents love it, but I had six happy kiddos that loved it too! Thanks to the parchment paper lining underneath,  it made for an easy clean-up so we could really enjoy our time with our friends.

Sheet Pan Lemon Paprika Chicken and Veggies from MomAdvice.com

Sheet Pan Lemon Paprika Chicken and Veggies from MomAdvice.com

Sheet Pan Lemon Paprika Chicken and Veggies from MomAdvice.com

Do make sure to finish the chicken with your broiler. Not only does it create that crispy skin, resembling fried chicken, but it also gives a little delicious charred taste to your veggies. Make sure you keep an eye on it and watch out for the sizzle, wearing protective oven mitts when pulling out. If you are entertaining and doing two pans, just rotate the pans under the broiler so they both have crispy skins. I also rotated them halfway through to make everything was heated evenly. It ended up being a gorgeous dish to share with friends that I can’t wait to share again with more people that share our table.

This is, TRULY, my new favorite dish and I’m so proud to share it with you today! I hope you love this delicious flavor combination as much as we did!

Sheet Pan Lemon Paprika Chicken and Veggies
Recipe Type: Dinner
Author: MomAdvice.com
Prep time:
Cook time:
Total time:
Serves: 6 servings
An easy sheet pan supper bursting with flavor. Lemon paprika chicken is nestled in a bed of potatoes and brussels sprouts for a decadent meal ready in 30 minutes. Easily double it with the tips in this post!
Ingredients
  • 6-8 bone-in chicken thighs
  • 3 tablespoons olive oil
  • Salt and fresh ground pepper, to taste
  • 2 teaspoons paprika
  • 1 teaspoon dried thyme
  • Zest & juice of one lemon
  • 5 garlic cloves, divided
  • 1 pound baby potatoes (I used golden potatoes)
  • 1 pound brussels sprouts, trimmed and halved
  • Olive oil, salt, & pepper (to taste)
Instructions
  1. In a mixing bowl mix together olive oil, salt, pepper, paprika, thyme, lemon zest, lemon juice, and two minced garlic cloves.
  2. In a resealable bag, pour these ingredients into the bag with the chicken thighs, rubbing the mixture evenly over all the chicken. Refrigerate for two hours.
  3. Preheat your oven for 450 degrees.
  4. Dice and cut your veggies and toss them in a bowl with olive oil, salt, and pepper (to taste).
  5. On a parchment lined sheet pan, spread the prepared vegetables out on the pan. Remove the chicken from the fridge and create holes in the veggies to nestle your chicken, doing your best to keep everything in a single layer for even cooking.
  6. Bake for 25-30 minutes. Switch your oven to BROIL and broil on high for 3-5 minutes, watching carefully to make sure the skin does not burn.
  7. Allow your chicken to rest for 5-10 minutes to retain full flavor and juices.

 

 This post may contain affiliate links! I only recommend what I love!
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Sundays With Writers: The Swans of Fifth Avenue by Melanie Benjamin

February 14th, 2016

Sundays With Writers

I had to take a little hiatus on our Sundays With Writers series simply because I had to really buckle down and read some new books so we could begin featuring more incredible writers on our site.  Today it thrills me to get to share an interview with Melanie Benjamin to discuss her latest novel The Swans of Fifth Avenue. I have read every single book written by her and have loved them all. If you haven’t dug into her other books check out The Aviator’s Wife, The Autobiography of Mrs. Tom Thumb, & Alice I Have Been for some REALLY fantastic historical fiction escapes. She has a way of exploring moments in history with such fresh eyes that I have adored her work for many years.

Yup, I am a gushing fan girl!

The Swans of Fifth Avenue by Melanie Benjamin

Centered on two dynamic, complicated, and compelling protagonists—Truman Capote and Babe Paley- The Swans of Fifth Avenue  is steeped in the glamour and perfumed and smoky atmosphere of New York’s high society. Babe Paley—known for her high-profile marriage to CBS founder William Paley and her ranking in the International Best-Dressed Hall of Fame—was one of the reigning monarchs of New York’s high society in the 1950s. Replete with gossip, scandal, betrayal, and a vibrant cast of real-life supporting characters, readers will be seduced by this startling new look at the infamous society swans.

You can really tell that Benjamin is passionate about this era and the telling of the story of Truman Capote and his swans. I think the challenge with this story is that many of these characters are so unlikable and not easy to relate to. Benjamin beautifully adds depth though in her fictional retelling of Capote and the ladies that grew to love him, that shows that all he wanted in life was the love of his mother. 

As someone who was unfamiliar with his life story, I had a great time reading all of the stories and hunting for the pictures of all these elite ladies after I finished this one. There is lots of glamour and backstabbing that reads a bit like a good gossip magazine. 

Grab your coffee and let’s chat with Melanie Benjamin about her latest book today!

Melanie Benjamin

Before we dive into The Swans of Fifth Avenue, your incredible new novel, I wanted to ask you a question that I have been curious about for quite some time. Why did you decide to write under a pseudonym and how does that work for an author? Did you select a name, did your publishing house, or was it a combination of working together to create this?

I published 2 books, 10 years ago, under my real name but those books were not successful.  I found that in order to be published again, particularly once moving to historical fiction, I needed to submit under a pseudonym – something that happens more often than you might think.  I chose the name, combining my first name with my son’s first name.

Truman Capote

 Although a huge fan of Breakfast at Tiffany’s, the movie version, I was embarrassingly unfamiliar with Truman Capote and his career and social climb with the book. I understand that in your teens you were familiar with the Truman Capote towards the end of his career, but you were less familiar with the beginning of his story. What compelled you to want to research him and what do you think was the most surprising fact you uncovered about him when you first started researching his story?

I simply came across the only book I owned written by him, this book called “Answered Prayers.”  (I have often found inspiration for my novels in my own bookshelves; this is how I wrote THE AVIATOR’S WIFE, by re-reading a biography of Charles Lindbergh that I’d read years before.)  While paging through this book I came across the short story “La Cote Basque 1965,” and had a vague recollection that the publication of this short story had resulted in a significant literary scandal, which I immediately realized might be a juicy topic for a novel.  And then I was off!

Babe Paley

All of Truman’s swans had such interesting lives, but the one swan that really stood out for me was Babe Paley, who worked so very hard to be the perfect trophy wife. Even Truman has been quoted as saying, “Babe Paley had only one fault. She was perfect. Otherwise, she was perfect.”

You really pull back the curtain though and show what a strain that was on Babe and her inability to allow anyone to see her flaws. Do you think she suffered from OCD or do you think the traumatic car accident she was in and her upbringing made her unable to show her true self to people?

 I think she was a creative woman who was told to stifle that creative impulse in order to do what she was raised to do, what her mother expected of her:  Marry, and marry spectacularly.  This sublimation of her creativity meant that she had no outlet other than making sure her life, and that of her husband, was, at least on the surface, perfect.  And she did pour her entire self into making that so – at least, to the naked eye.  That kind of sublimation means that you can’t show your real, ugly, messy, vulnerable side to people; they simply don’t expect it of you and wouldn’t know what to do.  But with Truman, for some reason, she felt she could be herself, and show that imperfect side of her personality. 

Truly, one of my favorite scenes that you carved in this book was when Babe & Truman go to the movie theater and Truman is crying because he relates so much to Pinocchio and his desire to be a real boy because he has never felt like one. Did Truman share about rejection from his mother because of his sexuality or is this something that you wanted to fictionally explore?

It’s fairly well documented that Truman had a very uneasy relationship with his mother.  She basically abandoned him as a child, and when she did send for him, when he was around the age of ten, she had a very difficult time accepting him as he was – an unashamed homosexual, different, even as a young man.  He never tried to be anything other than who he was.  But his mother forced him to attend military school – an absolute disaster – and simply could not accept his homosexuality.  So I didn’t make those facts up; they are recorded.  But what I explore, as a novelist, is the way Truman reacted to this; the real toll he never felt comfortable sharing.   In front of most everyone in his life, Truman joked everything away, or chose not to tell the truth at all, significantly embellishing his memories and experiences.  While focusing on his relationship with Babe—and truly, only the two of them knew what drew them to each other, and what cemented this unusual, passionate relationship—I had to imagine, then, that to Babe, he did reveal the psychological scars.

You have curated a fantastic guide to following in the footsteps of the swans. Did you visit, stay, or eat at any of the places that were featured in your guide? Which of these experiences made you feel most like a swan yourself?

Yes, I did!  I think having tea at the St. Regis made me feel the most swan-like.  It was elegant, but not intimidating.  I felt the Plaza was more intimidating.  Bergdorf’s, too.  But I loved the St. Regis!

Due to Truman’s inability to create the next great book, he publishes the secrets of the swans in the short story that ends up kicking him out of the inner circle. Did you sympathize with Truman as a writer and that desperation to create the next big thing?

Yes, and no.  I’ve never feared running out of stories to tell.  But I’ve also not had the life-changing experience, the instant, world-wide celebrity that Truman enjoyed after IN COLD BLOOD was published.  Part of me understood his desire to relax and enjoy the fame that came his way; he’d worked for years on the book, and that takes a toll.  But I really did mourn how he wasted his talent, after that.  Early on, Truman was the most disciplined of writers.  After IN COLD BLOOD, he was not.

Donald J Pliner Booties

(follow Melanie Benjamin on Facebook so you can see her cute shoe collection!)

I understand that you love to treat yourself to new shoes for your book tours. As someone who is a bit shoe obsessed, I can appreciate this! What shoes did you treat yourself to for this tour and do you think they would be swan-approved?

I have a pair of fabulous Donald J. Pliner booties that have really turned out to be workhorses (editor’s note- I found a similar budget-friendly pair for you, dear readers!).  In that—they’re comfortable, they look great with everything!  I also bought some L.K. Bennet snakeskin (fake, I think!) pumps that, unfortunately, have not worked out so well.  The first time I wore them, they stretched out so that my foot was sliding, and then I tore some of the snakeskin print on the heels.  I’m going to take them to a shoe repair place and see if I can salvage them.  They’re so pretty!  And they cost so much!   But I do think both pairs would be swan-approved (although probably far too cheap, for the Swans.  I’m sure they went for Ferragamo and Prada.).

If we want to explore the story of Truman Capote or the swans more, what was your favorite book and/or documentary that you can recommend so we can dive more into the story after reading your book?

I recommend several books in my author’s note at the end of THE SWANS.  Any of these would be great, but I suppose the most comprehensive is Gerald Clarke’s biography.

 Lastly, what is one of your all-time favorite books? (This will be added to one of our most visited posts of must-reads from the authors featured in Sundays With Writers)

Moss Hart’s ACT ONE.

The Swans of Fifth Avenue by Melanie Benjamin

You can connect with Melanie Benjamin on her website or through Facebook!  I’m always thankful for these moments with writers and I hope you will pick up this amazing book! You can always connect with me on GoodReads, through our books section of our site, and you can read our entire Sundays With Writers series for more author profiles. Happy reading, friends!

*This post contains affiliate links!

 

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It’s the 3 Little Things: 10-Day Manicure, Keeping Current, and Fashionable Sneakers

February 12th, 2016

It's the 3 Little Things

I’m so excited to introduce you to one of my blogging besties, Kelly from Redefined Mom. You will be hearing more about her and a new business adventure she is doing next week from me, but for now just know that she is one of my favorite people to drink wine with, to talk shop with, and to laugh with. Her blog is a fantastic resource for fashion and beauty! After you are done with this, head on over there and check it out. She’s amazing and I hope you enjoy her favorite things list this week!  

Hi, y’all.

(‘Cause that is what we say when we are minutes from the Missouri border. Real words become phrases with hyphens in them. Don’t be scared. It’s just how we act.)

When Amy asked me to guest post, I was thrilled. I’ve been an avid MomAdvice.com reader for years and I LOVE. LOVE. LOVE. her “3 Things” posts. So much so, that I started a weekly “I LOVE THESE THINGS” post on my own blog, Redefined Mom.

It took me awhile to pick my MOST FAVORITE THREE THINGS EVER to share with you.

(Oh, I probably also forgot to mention that I love to write with ALL CAPS and periods ….. a lot. We like to embellish our words in Kansas City with a grammatical bling. It’s like rhinestones, only different.)

After much soul searching (because I needed to make sure it was an AMAZING group of things…gotta keep up with Amy, ya know?), here are my MOST FAVORITE THREE THINGS to share with you.

CND Power Polish

1. My Secret To A 10-Day Manicure

I was a gel manicure devotee. I loved having chip-free, super shiny nails. But my addiction was wrecking HAVOC on my nails. When I’d take the polish off, it looked my nails got attacked by a lawn mower.

A friend told me about CND Vinylux Top Coat, and while it kept nails chip-free for 10 days, I found that CND does a poor job of keeping nails SHINY for 10-days. And who likes dull polish? Um…NO ONE!!!

It was when I added the Sally Hansen Clearly Quick on top of the CND Top Coat that MAGIC happened.

First, Sally Hansen polish helps cut the drying time in half. Second, it creates a chip-free, super shiny existence for 10 days. And finally, for $4, the price can’t be beat.

Added bonus, I can use it with any regular fingernail polish.

Rock on, shiny nails. Rock on!!

the skimm

2. theSkimm

This is a little embarrassing to admit, but I don’t watch the news or read online news sites. Partly because I get sick of the sensationalized media and partly because I’m lazy.

Since this year is an election year, I vowed that I would not be “one of those people”.

… ‘ya know, people who have opinions on EVERYTHING and usually post it all over Facebook, but no facts to back it up.

Enter theSkimm.

theSkimm makes it easier to be smarter. It’s a FREE daily email newsletter that arrives in your inbox around 6am (M-F) that’s your secret weapon for the day. It breaks down all you need to stay in the know and jump into conversation—it’s smart, witty, and quick.

Each morning I read the top headlines of the day’s “news” from my phone in the time it takes me to drink my first cup of coffee. Plus, if I want to do a deep dive into something, it provides me multiple links to “get educated”.

Rock on, smart mamas. Rock on!!!

VANS Tennis Shoes

3. VANS Tennis Shoes

On Redefined Mom, I do a few fashion posts. And as I was doing research for upcoming trends, I saw a number of women wearing adorable slip-on tennis shoes with their skinny and cropped jeans.

Fashion tennis shoes are a funny thing, too. It’s easy to “just get a cheap pair from Target” and throw them away after a season or two. The problem with going the cheap route is you usually end up with uncomfortable shoes. And uncomfortable shoes are no bueno.

So upgrade I did and I’m SO GLAD THAT I DID.

I’m in LOVE with my VANS Slip-On Tennis Shoes. They are so COMFORTABLE…so much so, I’m wondering why women ever went through the Sperry Boat Shoe rage.

Vans have such fun patterns and material (love the faux leather), too. Plus, you look a little “skater-punk-bad-ass” in the process.

Rock on, skater mama. Rock on!!

*this post may contain affiliate links- I only recommend what I love though. Check out past editions of  It’s the 3 Little Things! 

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The Virtual Librarian Experience: Keep it Clean and Inspiring

February 11th, 2016

The MomAdviceVirtual Librarian (2)

I am loving the chance to be a librarian for you and today I am featuring a reader looking for clean and inspiring reads. I will do my best to fulfill that criteria with a small caution that many of these books were read years ago and may not be as squeaky clean as I remembered them (*ahem*). I love sharing books that have inspiring storylines though and am looking forward to making a few great selections for our reader today!

If you would like me to pick some books for you, just fill out this quick questionnaire and submit it. I will send you an email when your post is live to let you know my favorite picks for you! You can also leave comments on books you would recommend for this reader too in our comment section below!

Reader

Reader Profile

Name?

Lori

What is Your Favorite Book Genre?

Nonfiction

Who Are Your Favorite Authors?

Susan Schaeffer-Macaulay, Leo Buscaglia, Jan Karon

For the Children's Sake by Susan Schaeffer Macaulay

What is Your Favorite Book of All-Time? 

For the Children’s Sake by Susan Schaeffer Macaulay

What Do You Look for In a Book?

It must be clean; it must be inspiring by teaching me something or encouraging me to live better.

The MomAdviceVirtual Librarian (2)

The Virtual Librarian Selects…

Ordinary Grace by William Kent Krueger

Ordinary Grace by William Kent Krueger

If you are into vivid storytellers, William Kent Krueger’s novel is a book for you.  This novel is set in 1961 in New Bremen, Minnesota and is told through the eyes of thirteen-year-old Frank Drum.

When tragedy unexpectedly comes to call on his family, which includes his Methodist minister father, his passionate, artistic mother, Juilliard-bound older sister, and wise-beyond-his years kid brother, Frank finds himself thrust into an adult world full of secrets, lies, adultery, and betrayal.

On the surface, Ordinary Grace is the story of the murder of a beautiful young woman, a beloved daughter and sister. At heart, it’s the story of what that tragedy does to a boy, his family, and ultimately the fabric of the small town in which he lives.

This is a beautiful coming of age story that reminds us of our youth. While I was able to figure out the killer early on in the story, as this is meant to be a mystery, it did not take away from the beautiful writing that filled the pages. I really enjoyed the book and the author’s carefully crafted characters that made this story read more like a memoir than a piece of fiction.

I think this will be a fantastic one for Lori because the story is about a Methodist minister and is a beautifully told coming of age story.  Definitely read the interview with William Kent Krueger about his inspiration for this moving tale.

The Power of One by Bryce Courtenay

The Power of One by Bryce Courtenay

Since Lori’s request is to be inspired, I had to put The Power of One on her reading list. 

There is so much good in this book about the power one person can have over another. Peekay endures terrible cruelty from his peers that most children would never pull through bravely. It is through the influence of one great man after another that his life is transformed from a victim to a fighter and we are reminded how with one small gesture or a few words of motivation, you have the ability to transform someone’s entire path. Lots of big life lessons in this novel that are so inspiring. I doubt you could read it and not feel transformed yourself by Peekay’s beautiful journey!

You get to witness the heartbreaks and triumphs of boyhood in this beautiful coming-of-age story. It would lend itself well to a book club discussion and would be an incredible book to even read with your teen!

When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi

When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi

I happened to have just finished an inspiring read this week so I thought I would include this one for Lori today. 

At the age of thirty-six, on the verge of completing a decade’s worth of training as a neurosurgeon, Paul Kalanithi was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer. One day he was a doctor treating the dying, and the next he was a patient struggling to live.

This book is an incredibly moving story of the fragility of life and death told through Paul’s incredible medical career working as a neurosurgeon and then as a patient facing the end of his own life. Even after a cancer diagnosis, his ability to train and put his own needs aside while still working tirelessly in an operating room are nothing short of miraculous and his words echo the poetic strength of a life well lived.

His wife finishes the book in a way that brought tears to my eyes and reminds us of the strength needed for those still living on.  The ending is such a beautiful and memorable nod that reminds us that all we should ever strive for in our life is to be and give unconditional love.

Although there is some language in this one, I think it is appropriate in the telling of this emotional story.

7 by Jen Hatmaker

7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess by Jen Hatmaker

Looking for Christian literature with a big dash of humor? Lori will not only be inspired by Jen Hatmaker, but I am guessing she will even laugh at her hilarious writing too! 

With her signature wit, Jen Hatmaker takes a year-long fast for Jesus, tackling one excess after another in the average American life. From whittling down her closet to seven items, to eating only seven foods, to reducing her waste, to trimming her spending; she documents her daily struggles and triumphs through the lessons learned.

What really pulled through for me most was how much we take for granted and how, with a bit of trimming, we have the ability to transform the lives of the poor. If we are to love Jesus, we are to love the poor like He did. Not only are we reminded about our own individual choices, but she really sheds light on the excessive spending of churches, money spent only on themselves when it could be better served for the greater needs of the world. This comes up often in the book as Jen’s church has chosen to spend on those in need rather than their own building and selves.

It would be impossible to read this book and not feel moved to give more. Although I would consider myself a minimalist, there is ALWAYS room for improvement and this gave me a lot of food for thought. I shed many tears through this one for those in need and unwanted. While expecting a light read, Jen delivered a life-changing practice that we could all be challenged to try.

Since Lori is looking for inspiration in her life, I think she will enjoy Jen’s inspiring tale of ridding her life of excess and the challenges it brought to her life.

The Homecoming of Samuel Lake by Jenny Wingfield

The Homecoming of Samuel Lake by Jenny Wingfield

There is a certain richness that comes with great Southern storytelling and this amazing book by Jenny Wingfield is laced with that type of richness I am speaking of and beautiful storytelling that you can picture just like a movie screen. I think Lori will get positively swept away into this beautiful novel! 

Samuel Lake, his wife Willadee (Moses), and their three children find themselves back home in Arkansas after Samuel finds himself out of work as a minister. When tragedy strikes, the family bands together in unlikely ways and find their faith is challenged to the core of even God’s most faithful. The book offers the story of spunky Swan Lake (yes, her family did name her that), an unlikely little boy that the family takes in as their own, a town villain that has made it his life’s mission to make their family’s life miserable, and Toy, Swan’s uncle, who becomes her unlikely hero.

Each character is so vividly told with his/her own story line that Wingfield magically weaves together to create an incredible story that will stick with you long after you close the book. I can’t recommend this one enough!

What would you pick out for Lori based on her preferences? Leave your suggestions in the comments below!

This post contains affiliate links. I only recommend what I love though! Dig into the Virtual Librarian series this year for more great selections! 

 

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Amy’s Notebook 02.10.16

February 10th, 2016

Make a Pom-Pom Rug via eHow

Source: eHow

 

Adorable pom-pom rug– be still my beating heart.

Baked eggs with veggies…yes, please.

NPR’s book concierge guide to kid’s books– bookmarking!

8 secrets of people who don’t have clutter.

Loving this capsule wardrobe inspiration!

What a great pizza stone hack.

I’m printing these out for my hubby! Ha!

Valentine Pencil Flags via Oh Happy Day

Source: Oh Happy Day

 

Valentine’s pencil flags DIY- adorable!

I was doing dry shampoo all wrong.

Decrapify your life with this perfect challenge.

How to create an open closet system- excellent ideas for homes with little closets.

Gretchen Rubin answers how she reads so much.

I love this challenge to write a fan letter this month! #FanFeb

10 great habits you can build around food– love these tips.

I hope you enjoyed our notebook, a collection of gathered links to DIY crafts, food projects, thrifty ways to spruce up your home, and thoughtful reads. Nothing brings me more joy than to highlight other fabulous bloggers. Follow me on Pinterest for daily inspiration!

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How to Consume More Books This Year

February 9th, 2016

How to Consume More Books This Year from MomAdvice.com

Almost weekly I get a request to share how I am able to consume so many books. Over the years we have visited this conversation often, but over the last year or two my strategies for consuming books has changed a lot thanks to new formats and new ideas about how I can get more books in throughout my day.  Reading is truly one of my biggest passions and I love sharing my love of reading with others.  Even my volunteerism is connected with this passion as I mentor two struggling elementary school readers each week to hopefully help them not only become stronger readers, but ignite a lifelong passion for reading too.

How to Consume More Books This Year from MomAdvice.com

I have always been a reader and I can point to one person in my life who helped make that happen.

My Dad.

Even as he juggled his swing shift position at work, he promised me a weekly trip to the library that he honored each week and rarely rushed me at the library, leaving me contentedly working my way down the aisles. When the bookmobile made our corner the stop on it’s route, I was able to trade my finished books out even sooner for another stack and still enjoy those weekly visits with my father. I count those visits among some of my favorite memories.

Admittedly, my parent’s biggest hurdle with me was to stop reading when it was bedtime and to stop reading books that were too mature for me. I am sure you can envision a ten year-old girl with a stack of V.C. Andrews books stacked under her mattress each night, a big no-no writer in our Christian household, especially at that age. Thankfully, I still turned out okay despite my reading choices.

When I became a mom, I felt like I didn’t have the time to sit down and read.  I was too busy bouncing colicky babies and trying to cobble some semblance of a clean house to make time for myself and to read.  I say this because maybe you are in a life stage where reading isn’t happening and the best you can do is bounce those babies and try to just keep up a household routine, that is okay! Books will ALWAYS be there for you though when you are ready to come back. 

After my kids got a little older, I remember making a public proclamation that I was going to start reading again and I was going to share about the books here. At the time, this had nothing to do with our site and I only hoped you would hold me accountable. Now the books section and our interview series are two of the most popular sections, thanks to that commitment I made years ago.

Is your goal to consume more books this year? I would love to share a few strategies that I have found work for me and would love to hear from you, my fellow bookworms, how you make time for reading in your life! 

How to Consume More Books This Year from MomAdvice.com

Start By Making a Commitment

Like I said, the way that I started was by vocalizing my commitment and setting a reading goal. As an overachiever, the urge to set ridiculous goals is always an issue for me. I encourage you start with a modest goal and make your own public commitment. A great place to do that is on GoodReads where you can not only set goals, but you can also connect with fellow readers (like me!) to help inspire your book stacks!  Setting goals helps give you something to work toward, whether that is five books this year or a hundred!

Another option to challenge yourself is to join in on an online challenge. These types of challenges not only motivate you to read, but often push you outside of your usual genres into new literary territory. Here are nine great challenge options to get you started this year!

Carve Out One Hour Minimum At YOUR Optimum Time

Notice that I didn’t tell you to just rise earlier? I am a morning person so I set my alarm at 5AM to tackle an hour of reading before I need to get my kids off to school. That, it turns out, is my optimum reading time.  If you aren’t a morning person though, this probably will not work for you and, no, it’s highly unlikely you can make yourself be a morning person despite what you may have heard. Gretchen Rubin, author of Better Than Before, was recently on The Simple Show where she talks about how we can’t all force ourselves to be morning people and you should set realistic goals during hours that are realistic for YOU in order to succeed at your goals. 

For me, the hour of 5AM is complete bliss with hot coffee and quiet reading, which helps set an intention for me to have a balanced and calm day. As a highly sensitive person, I really need this quiet introverted time or I feel out of sorts once the kids get up. For others though, you might find that an hour in the afternoon or a staying up later with a good book is a better fit.

I put my phone on do not disturb and stay off of social media and it is amazing how many pages I can consume in that hour with uninterrupted time. I encourage you to do the same!  Hours can also be broken into ten to fifteen minute sessions throughout the day, particularly for moms with little ones or for moms who are always running their kids. As long as you are carrying a book with you wherever you go, it’s very easy to reach a one hour goal.

Not sure if you can commit to an hour? Try a 10% reading goal each day, particularly if you are reading digitally! 

To read as much as I do though, I have to have a minimum of two to three hours of reading time daily. That means one hour first thing in the morning, one hour before the kids get off the bus, and usually an hour or two at the end of the day or before I head to the gym.

How to Consume More Books This Year from MomAdvice.com

(current stack)

Find a Format That Works For You

For a long time, the only way I thought that I could consume books was in the printed format. These past two years though a world of reading possibilities opened to me when I finally embraced electronic books and audiobooks.

The beauty in electronic books is that I always have my phone with me so I always have my Kindle app to open and dive into a book. An old-fashioned printed book is always on my bedside table for grabbing and screen-free time. Audiobooks have become my new companion while tackling laundry, cooking, or tidying our house. With a set of earbuds, I can consume a book just about anywhere. 

Experiment with different formats or consider tackling different types throughout the day (more below) to find what works best for you!

Try Reading a Few Books at the Same Time

I often have to be in the right frame of mind to read certain books and many bookworms echo my theory that having a few books going at once can help you through a mindset hurdle on reading. Last week I was reading a memoir, a thriller, and a contemporary fiction novel. In What Should I Read Next guest Seth Haines shared that he reads a different book in the morning, afternoon, and evening of his day. For me, I know when I wake up what I am in the mood for. I usually lean into something heavy in that first peaceful hour and then sprinkle lighter books in later in the day. It was comforting to hear someone echo that philosophy of different books at different times. It helps me to never stop consuming books.

I do know that many people say that they can only read one book at a time and that is okay, but in order for me to continue moving through books when mindset hurdles are standing in my  own way, I need to have a variety going to continue pressing forward.

How to Consume More Books This Year from MomAdvice.com

Try Reading As a Family

The reason I was such a big reader was the influence of my father and witnessing him reading all the time. The reason that I think I have two great readers in my house is because they see their mom reading all the time and they are modeling what is happening in our home.

On nights we don’t have activities going on or on weekends, you will often find us in a room together all reading our own books. I love reading alongside of my children as much as I love reading to them. I am still reading to my daughter as we work our way through Laura Ingall’s adventures, but I also love the freedom of everyone tackling what they love.  Either way, whether reading on our own or together, I know that I am getting in more books and I get to do it with my kids. 

How to Consume More Books This Year from MomAdvice.com

(photo credit: scribd)

Make Reading an Investment

Are you the type of person where making a financial commitment to something is what motivates you to do it? Just like your financial commitment that you make to your gym membership that you just HAVE to get every dollar out of, you can do the same with reading especially if you lack a good or close public library system.

For the money, I find Scribd to be a great value at $8.99 a month that includes unlimited e-books, one audiobook credit per month, and access to sheet music (which is great for this family with a piano player & guitarist on our hands!).  I am a genuine fan, this post is not supported in any way by them. I have also heard great things about Kindle Unlimited, but don’t have any experience with that one- let me know if you have enjoyed that membership or not. Sometimes, particularly in the winter and summer months when I’m not as motivated to head as frequently to the library, I indulge in a membership to keep me moving through books.

For some, a financial commitment can offer great motivation to get every dollar out of a membership. I know that it does for me!

I hope these tips to consume more great books this year are helpful to you! It’s a joy to get to share great books with you each month! xo

What tips and tricks do you use in your life to read more? Feel free to leave your ideas in the comments below!

This post may contain affiliate links- I only recommend what I love though!

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10 Top Grocery Hacks for Busy Moms

February 9th, 2016

How to save money on groceries is one of the most common questions I get, so I’m happy that Andrea Woroch is sharing these 10 terrific grocery-saving tips with us that anyone can do!

10 Grocery Hacks for Busy Moms

It’s common knowledge that cooking every meal at home is a surefire way to reduce money spent on food, but finding the time is usually the biggest battle families face. Most nights, it’s just so much easier to pick-up prepared food or order take out when you’re shuttling from school to soccer practice to dance recital.

And, forget about clipping coupons or driving around town to hunt down the best grocery sales—what busy mom has time for that? Luckily, there are a few simple grocery shopping and meal prep strategies that you can follow to reduce spending on food while keeping everyone in your family healthy and satisfied, and keeping you sane.

Read on for my top grocery hacks to keep food on the table and more money in your vacation fund!

Newspaper inserts

1. Browse weekly circulars- digitally.

Creating meal plans based on sales cycles featured in your grocery store circulars is the premier way to save money on meals. However, you don’t have to settle for the Sunday inserts to find out what’s on sale this week; you can also scan weekly ads digitally using Flipp. This website and mobile app features the latest circulars from grocers, drugstores and big-box stores, ranging from Albertsons to Sprouts to Walmart.

2. Print the coupons you need.

Reviewing Sunday circulars for manufacturer’s coupons is a tried-and-true method for saving on groceries, but who has the time for such a tedious task? Instead, consult your grocery list and search for specific brand coupons online through sites like CouponSherpa.com. For example, you can currently find $3 off Tide PODS from Kroger, $1 off any two boxes of Cheerios, and $1 off any one-pound package of Jennie-O turkey breast. You can even find savings for fresh produce like cucumbers using healthy offers grocery coupons.

Ibotta app

3. Use money-saving apps.

Cash-back apps like Ibotta and Checkout 51 are great tools to save money during your grocery trips. Walmart’s Savings Catcher takes the work out of comparing circulars between grocers, offering store credit whenever something you purchased is advertised for less elsewhere. And Target’s Cartwheel offers additional savings on rotating products, some of which can be applied after purchase if a coupon becomes available within a certain timeframe. In most cases, these apps only require a couple minutes of your time, which you can easily spare while waiting in line at checkout. (Bonus: using these apps will keep you from any impulse buys at checkout, too!)

Stock up on grocery store sales

4. Stock up during sale time.

You don’t have to be an extreme couponer to take advantage of sale and coupon match-ups. When you find coupons for products you typically buy that are also on sale, stock up so you can spend less on these staple items and reduce your trips to the grocery store. Since you likely don’t have time to research these match-ups, consult experts like TheKrazyCouponLady.com to find out what you can buy on the cheap each week using sales and coupons.

5. Look for manager markdowns.

Meat takes the biggest bite from your grocery budget, but it’s not exactly something you can cut out from your family’s diet. You’re growing kids need protein and energy to stay healthy for their active lives! To save on your family’s favorite meats, always search for manager markdowns to find big savings of up to 50% off on steak, chicken, pork or even fish nearing it’s expiration date. Cook what you want to eat right away then freeze the rest for later so it doesn’t spoil. You may even consider implementing “Meatless Mondays” to cut back on the cost of meat once a week. There are plenty of unique recipes that allow you to get creative with new foods without skimping on taste.

Buy frozen foods to save money

6. Don’t forget frozen.

Shopping in season for fruits and vegetables is key to saving money on fresh produce. If tonight’s dinner calls for product that’s not in season (and therefore exorbitantly priced), head to your frozen foods’ section for a less-costly alternative. Produce is flash frozen at peak ripeness and nutrient level, making it just as healthy as fresh for much less cost. March is National Frozen Food Month, so look for deep discounts on frozen produce and meals, and stock up on your family’s favorites! They key to avoiding the need to dial for pizza delivery, is keeping some healthy frozen foods in the freezer for meals on the fly!

7. Opt for boxed over baked.

Pre-made goodies from your grocer’s bakery represent some of the industry’s highest markups, with cakes, cupcakes and cookies often costing 300% more than their ingredients. Since making these items from scratch is time-consuming, consider picking up a few boxed mixes for an inexpensive alternative that yields fresh-tasting confections in a fraction of the time. You can often find boxed mixes for muffins, cakes, brownies and cookies for $1 each, and only require the addition of household staples like eggs, oil and water.

8. Try generic brands for basic ingredients.

Everyone has their favorite brand of ketchup or peanut butter, but some ingredients can easily be purchased as non-brand names without sacrificing flavor. Canned goods, dried pasta and even spices are good examples of generic or store brands that are just as good as name brands. In some cases, you may need to conduct a taste test, but typically basic ingredients that are mixed in with other flavors to prepare a meal can be purchased as store brands. This strategy can save you 30 to 50-percent!

Batch cook dinners like spaghetti

9. Prepare more than you need.

Even if you only have a family of three, prepare meals like you’re cooking for double the amount so you can save leftovers for later. These large portions can be used as lunch for parents, an afternoon snack for teens or as a ready-made dinner for kids when you’re short on time. Not only does this strategy trim your time in the kitchen, but it also reduces the amount of food waste since many recipes designed for just a couple people only use a fraction of the ingredients you purchase.

10. Freeze leftovers for quick meals.

If your family isn’t a fan of leftovers, freeze whatever you don’t eat for use later in the month. Most meals can save for six months and are great for those evenings when you’re tempted to do takeout. For all the planners out there, this tip is especially welcome: designate one weekend day a month to prepare several meals and freeze most of what you create for later consumption. That way, you not only have meals available, but a variety of choices to boot!

 

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Sheet Pan Ranch Chops and Veggies

February 8th, 2016

Sheet Pan Ranch Chops and Veggies from MomAdvice.com

As our schedules become busier with activities, I have found that I have been gravitating more and more towards sheet pan meals to feed our family. The beauty of a sheet pan meal is that, when lined with foil or parchment paper, these meals of meats and veggies prepared on a cookie sheet not only hold the power to be prepared with minimal effort, but they also are prepared with minimum clean-up too. I am not the only one loving sheet pan meals though, as I noticed at our local library that this sheet pan suppers cookbook was out on the shelves this winter and I can’t wait to check it out and dive into some of those recipes in our own kitchen. Who knew sheet pan meals were so trendy this year?

Sheet Pan Ranch Chops and Veggies from MomAdvice.com

Today’s sheet pan dish features Ranch Pork Chops with Vegetables and has already been eaten a record four times this month.  I am a big fan of these pre-cut parchment paper squares for easy clean-up and I can find all of these ingredients for this meal at ALDI, which is a bonus since I hate shopping at multiple grocery stores. Although the ingredients couldn’t be more simple, this recipe is packed full of flavor thanks to the convenience of a ranch dressing packet. If you are avoiding those for any reason (like sodium), you can also make your own DIY Ranch Dressing Mix to cut down on the salt.

Sheet Pan Ranch Chops and Veggies from MomAdvice.com

Although we loved this dish enough for it to be repeated four times, the main reason why I tested it so much was because I wanted to get the right level of doneness to both the potatoes and the meat. I found that by giving the potatoes a 10-12 minute head start, I got better consistency on the potatoes while not drying out the meat and green beans in the process. Throwing the potatoes in the oven first also gave me that ten minutes to prep the rest of the ingredients while they were cooking. Basically, as soon as that timer goes off, I’m ready to throw on the next layer.   I rely on center cut pork chops, on the bone, for a flavorful chop that consistently is done within 30 minutes. Resting this chops on top help add moisture and flavor to the veggies nestled underneath.

A fresh sprinkle of parsley adds a beautiful fresh flavor to this dish and some affordable color to the top.

Not only is this a great weeknight winner, but it also reheats beautifully, saving us on money spent on lunches out.  I try to package a couple of meals up for my husband and I when cleaning up.

Did I mention less dishes when cleaning up?

 

Now you REALLY know why we have already eaten this four times.

 

#winning

 

I hope you love this sheet pan meal as much as we do!

Sheet Pan Ranch Chops and Veggies from MomAdvice.com

Sheet Pan Ranch Chops and Veggies from MomAdvice.com

Sheet Pan Ranch Chops and Veggies
Prep time:
Cook time:
Total time:
Serves: 6
A practically effortless pork chop sheet pan meal that feeds six people!
Ingredients
  • 6 (8-ounce) pork chops, bone-in, 3/4-inch to 1-inch thick
  • 1 pound yellow or red baby potatoes, quartered
  • 1 pound green beans, trimmed
  • 3 tablespoons olive oil
  • 1 (1-ounce) package Ranch Seasoning and Salad Dressing Mix
  • 5 cloves garlic, minced
  • Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste
  • 2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley leaves
Instructions
  1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and set aside.
  2. Quarter potatoes and toss with one tablespoon of olive oil, 1/4 of the Ranch dressing packet, and two minced cloves of garlic in a large bowl. Pour in an even layer on sheet pan. Bake for 10-12 minutes.
  3. Meanwhile trim green beans and place in the bowl you used for tossing the potatoes. Toss the green beans with 1/4 of the Ranch dressing packet, one tablespoon of the olive oil, and one clove of minced garlic.
  4. Remove potatoes from the oven and pour prepared green beans on top. Add pork chops and drizzle lightly with olive oil and finish by sprinkling with the Ranch packet. Season with salt and pepper.
  5. Place into oven and roast until the pork is completely cooked through, reaching an internal temperature of 140 degrees F, about 25-30 minutes. You can finish by broiling for two to three minutes, if you desire a more charred flavoring to your meal.
  6. Serve immediately, garnished with parsley.

 Do you love sheet pan meals too? Let me know what your favorite sheet pan dishes are in your kitchen!

This post contains affiliate links. I only recommend what I love- pinky promise!
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It’s the 3 Little Things: Honey, Keeping Up With IG, Parental Sacrifice

February 5th, 2016

It's the 3 Little Things Happy Fri-yay! I am one happy girl because all my library holds were waiting for me this week. I’m in hibernation mode this winter so these came just in time for coffee sipping and cozy fires.  I also have a ton of advanced readers from authors that are launching books this month so I am trying to get a jump on reading those so I can secure them while the irons are hot for our Sundays With Writers series! It’s going to be another great month of reading.

library-stack

Here’s what’s in my stack this month (follow me on IG to see my monthly library stacks!):

Between the World & Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates

What She Knew by Gilly Macmillan

When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi

Cinder by Marissa Meyer

Tiny Little Thing (that’s our book club book this month!) by Beatriz Williams

Black-Eyed Susans by Julia Heaberlin

Columbine by Dave Cullen

Pretty Girls by Karin Slaughter

The Longest Night by Andria Williams

I have been asked by a reader if I would share how I can consume so many dang books.  I’m looking forward to sharing more about that with you next week since I know we ALL have so many strategies for rapid book consumption! I hope I can bring some new ideas to the table for you and you can teach me a thing or two.

perfect

After a decade of excuses, I joined a Bible Study and we are working our way through “For the Love,” by Jen Hatmaker on Friday mornings. I am not exaggerating when I say that it has been this long since I have been a part of a Bible study. My walk with God was a rocky one for awhile and I’m wandering my way back, stumbling over my own feet along the way. I don’t talk a lot about religion on here, but I am sure you have guessed that I’m a Christian by my posts and my passion projects. It’s more to make all people feel welcome here- I’m a neutral ground kind of girl and love people of all walks.

I grew up in a very disciplined church and home where diving into the Bible was a regular occurrence and God was always at the center of it all for my family. Perhaps that is why it feels like coming home to get my Bible back out again and be with women who can teach me so much.  I’m admittedly struggling to open myself fully to that experience, as I tend to guard my heart and privacy, but I’m working on it.

Here is the truth. I have often waited for the perfect time with God. As things would arise I would think, “Maybe next year. Maybe when my kids are older. Maybe after this project. Maybe once we are done renovating our house. Maybe another day…” As I get older I realize that there will never be the perfect time for anything in my life.  So I just took that first step back into the folds this month. I cleared some time in my schedule and just stopped waiting for that perfect timing. No more excuses.  I just want you to know that it’s okay to start right where you are too. And if you want to join me at Bible Study, I will save you a seat!

Here are three other things that are making me unbelievably happy! 

Honey Browser Extension

Honey Browser Extension

I love browser extensions that save our family money and I discovered Honey this month and it is rocking my world! All I did was add the extension to my browser and it saves me money (or at least tries to) on every purchase I make by coupon clipping its little heart out on all my purchases.  The best part is that you don’t have to remember to do anything. As soon as you hit the checkout page on the stores you shop, it starts a pop-up going through all the discount codes for the shops and applies them to your purchases without you doing a single thing! It’s the easiest way I have found to save money on online purchases and I look forward to all the savings I am going to reap around the holidays. You must get it and tell me what you think!

Master-of-None

Master Of None (The Parents Episode)

I’m sure most of you know about Master of None, but we finally started it a couple of weeks ago and have really been enjoying the truly smart writing in this Netflix original series. The show is written like a play in a way that I feel you can watch it out of order if you wanted because each episode is like its own story. It’s funny, sometimes racy, and brilliantly written.

There is one episode that I am still thinking about so if you don’t want to dive into the series, I would just recommend watching the Parents Episode (Episode #2). In it, Dev & Brian thank their immigrant parents by inviting them to a joint dinner and the parents reflect back on their sacrifices.  You know how you don’t appreciate all that your parents have done for you? Well, this episode perfectly illustrates this struggle in such a way that I had tears rolling down my face with laughter. It makes you just want to call your parents and say thank you. I plan to watch it a couple more times, it’s that good!

post-notifications

Keeping Up With the Important Stuff on IG

As a blogger, I follow a lot of people on IG and it’s been a real struggle keeping up with my real-life friends and their happenings. Each day I would have to search (and remember!) all my friend’s IG names and individually find them to see if they had posted updates. I linked to this article and this one little IG hack has saved me so much time. Visit the user profile that you wish to stay up to date on (like, I don’t know, YOUR SISTER??!!), and open up one of their posts. Then, click the three dots in the bottom right-hand corner of the post, and choose “Turn on post notifications” from the menu that appears.

Basically, it sends a ding to my phone when people update and now I can stay on top of the feeds of those I love so very much without scrolling and searching for days. Since my friends/family don’t update a lot, it’s not very intrusive, and I finally looped back in with my people.

Hope you all have a lovely weekend, friends!

*this post may contain affiliate links- I only recommend what I love though. Check out past editions of  It’s the 3 Little Things! 

 

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