Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

Bad Week or Why I Couldn’t Be a Single Mom

Thursday, May 15th, 2008

Editor’s Note– I actually posted this post and then deleted it because I was a little embarrassed about my whiny tone. I got some emails that people were looking for this entry in their feeds so it is back up here…only read this if you can handle all the whining and moaning. Seriously, WHINING and MOANING. You have been warned!

My husband has been out of town since Monday and I thought I could do this on my own. I envisioned our fun-filled days and evenings that would be spent painting my toes and catching up on my reading.

Day One– The roofing construction begins on our home. A new roof has been in the works since we moved into this house. I never thought of how this construction would impact our day. No naps for kids means a tired mommy and grumpy children.

Day Two– My son comes down with a nasty case of pink eye. He can’t go to school for the next two days until we get it cleared up.

Day Three– Rained all day, which leaves our house quiet. Emily wakes up with a snotty nose and Ethan’s eye is gooped beyond recognition. The only thing I have to look forward to is my girlfriend coming for the evening. We cook. We clean. We prepare for her visit…she has an unexpected conflict and can’t come. I think we scared her off with all of our illnesses.

Day Four– Our gutters turn up missing (after being removed from our house for the roofing job). I have to file a police report and talk to a detective. I feel ridiculous reporting a case of missing gutters and embarrassed that I am wasting their time with something so trivial. They were our gutters though so I file my little plea that they figure out who the culprit is.

Day Five– Emily is sicker by the minute and wakes up with a 102 degree fever. I get a late appointment at the doctor and he tells me she has a bad case of strep throat.

Day Six– I can only imagine how great the day will be putting drops in Ethan’s eye three times a day, distributing penicillin to Emily and medicine to keep down her fever, as I swipe her little nose. I feel so bad for them both and am feeling blue myself.

My days are filled with nursing sick children and running myself into the ground. The evenings are spent playing catch up on the household chores and laundry. Fabulous dinners at home were replaced with two trips to the fast food joint so that I could keep my sanity. No painting of nails or relaxation in the evening, in fact, I didn’t even blow dry my hair this week because there was no time.

The final nail in the coffin is calling the bed and breakfast, where we have reserved our room for our anniversary this weekend, and letting them know we can’t come. One case of pink eye and one case of strep seal the deal.

How do single moms of the world do it? I humbly bow to them because I am a blubbering mess right now. I am so ashamed that I couldn’t do it for one week. I really believed it was going to be a great week, but it seemed I have a little too much confidence.

Creating Morning Rituals

Wednesday, May 14th, 2008

Today is going to be our last day in the book, “How Did I Get So Busy.” We have had such a great discussion from this book and I feel like I have made a lot of positive changes by sharing through this format and from encouragement from you. It has definitely been a positive transformation for me and I hope that you have gotten as much from it as I have.

For those of you who are just joining in on the series, we began with a busy bee quiz, questioned our reasons for being busy, had a discussion about technology and how it can intrude into our life, talked about self-care (or lack thereof), discussed our exercise routines (or lack thereof), taming our tech habits, and breaking the procrastination habits. There are many more chapters in the book so I hope that you can check this out from your library or can purchase a copy. I have heard from many of you who have gotten the book so I hope it will continue to benefit you.

Today we are going to discuss our morning routines and rituals. I have read other bloggers who have some really great morning routines, but I will admit that I am not a morning person and carving time for rituals has been something I think about, but don’t do. I will say that I have added some workout time to my mornings, after I drop my son off at preschool, and I have also been doing a morning walk with Emily on warmer days.

These are the suggestions from the author on ways that you can incorporate some rituals into your day:

1. Write a vision of your ideal morning. The author actually says she has a list of seven things that she wants to do every morning. She suggests writing a list down of the things you would like out of your own morning and putting this in a place where you will see it each day- on the fridge door, inside a medicine cabinet, next to your alarm clock. This list will help remind you of what your ideal morning would look like. I have seen moms take this a step further and have an ideal day written up for themselves and their children too.

2. Estimate how much time each morning ritual will take you. With all of our goals, we are encouraged to start small and work our way up. Begin with small things that won’t take a lot of time and build your routine up from there.

3. Identify a simple way to connect with loved ones in the morning. It can be a hug and a kiss for your kids, joining your child for breakfast each day so that you have special time together, or exercising with your spouse. Use this time to connect with the people you love most and see if it starts your days out a little better.

4. Choose things you truly want to do, not what you “should” do. Don’t do things you think you have to do, you need to do things, “that will truly nourish you and help you create the kind of life you believe is possible.”

5. Test your habits- and adjust them. If your routine isn’t working for you, don’t be afraid to switch it around. Continually tweak the routine until you have something you are really happy with.

In this chapter, the author focuses on ways to end your day as well. I have found that I am better about how I end my day then how I begin it though so this section really stuck with me.

Sound Off: I am interested to hear if you have a morning ritual that works for you? What are your mornings like? Do you struggle with a morning routine too?

MomAdvice Sound Off: Did you enjoy this book series? Would you like to work through another book together? What topics/books are of interest to you right now?

Happy Mother’s Day

Sunday, May 11th, 2008

Happy Mother’s Day, everyone! I hope you all have a wonderful day with your families and get to spend time honoring all of the great mothers in your life!

Make sure that your family treats you like royalty! Our princess moments are fewer and far between as we get older, embrace what’s left!

Hugs to each of you!

Rainy Day Activity: Popcorn Fun

Wednesday, May 7th, 2008

It’s raining, it’s pouring…what is a desperate mom to do? My popcorn tub came to my rescue this week and I have pulled it into our guest bathroom so the kids could have a blast in it, with easy clean-up for me.

I had bought a bag of popcorn at our wholesale club and knew that there was no way we would be able to eat the entire bag in a timely fashion. This popcorn tub was my son’s favorite gift for Christmas two years ago and it is still going strong.

We filled the tub with all of the children’s toys from their sand box and they have a blast for hours playing in this. When they are done, I just get out a broom and dustpan and make quick work of it. I have found that my sweepers spit the popcorn back out so it is easier to just take a broom to the floors, rather than doing the sweeping and spitting bit that I was doing before.

Emily didn’t get the concept of keeping the popcorn in the tub, but she soon got the hang of it after I showed her how she could fill her pails in the plastic container rather than trying to scoop and pour on the floor.

What goes better with popcorn than pajamas? Keep the kids in their “morning clothes” (as my son calls them!) and let them enjoy a quiet day of playing in popcorn.

Popcorn & Pajamas- two of my favorite “P” words especially when mommy is POOPED! Don’t you love how ridiculously theme-y I am?

Here We Come, Kindergarten!

Thursday, May 1st, 2008

My son is a genius and I have photographic proof now. He asked me to come downstairs, one morning before school, to show me something he had made. This is what I came downstairs to- can you believe it? I still have no idea how he stacked these nesting blocks in their complete reverse order.This is just the kind of kid I am raising- he is an out-of-the-box kind of kid. He is a creative thinker and a human sponge. I say he is a genius, very tongue-in-cheek, but he is one smart little cookie and is really looking forward to kindergarten.

We were in a tough dilemma about where we were going to send him to school. We wanted to support the efforts of the public school system, but we were not in a great district to do that. When magnet schools became available in our area, and after hearing so many great things about them, this seemed like the most viable option for us. We could not afford to put two children into private schools, but the magnet schools were part of the public schools with a great curriculum, uniforms, and an incredibly gifted staff. We applied and waited. And waited. And waited. We went to meetings and we prayed and prayed that our child would get to be a part of this program. Guess what? He’s in!

We went to the kindergarten round-up and I was so impressed with everything at the school. I felt like I was on the verge of tears the entire time for a couple of different reasons. The first, was that we were sitting there and would get to be a part of this wonderful community and staff. The second, was the talk of them going off to school and what an important time in their lives this is. The image of my son. My little boy. My child. My sweet and precious little man going on a bus and leaving me for the day was almost too much. Part of me welcomes him going away to school and part of me just wants to hold on a few more years to our special time together. He is my best buddy and I love having him around!

He was so excited about his new school and wants to begin counting down the days until he can start going there. In the meantime, we need to schedule a physical, get his kindergarten shot, a dental exam, a vision exam and sign him up for his first library card as part of our homework before school starts. We also will continue working on our letters, mathematics, and beginning reading skills with Ethan…. and mark off the days for him until he goes off to kindergarten. Kindergarten, here we come!

Rainy Days, Bloom Swap, Contests, Updates, & More Randomness

Wednesday, April 30th, 2008

Sorry for a post full of randomness, but I wanted to update everyone on stuff that is going on this week!!

WSBT-

Yesterday I went to the WSBT studio to discuss how to put together a rainy day survival kit for your kids. This goes along with my little tutorial on making a rainy day suitcase for your family. My husband said this is the best one I have ever done? I think it came off that way because I was feeling a little more sassy…or maybe because I had to be there by 6:20 in the morning and wasn’t fully awake. I hope you guys enjoy it. I am pretty proud of our little suitcase so it was fun to get to show it off.

Nephew Update

My nephew is doing so well that they are moving him out of ICU this morning. The skin looks great and it even has color to it- a great indication that the blood supply is doing what it is supposed to. My sister is a nurse so she can explain it a little more technically than I can, but it all sounds so positive. Thank you all for your sweet prayers and messages!

Lands’ End Contest-

I am really trying hard to share everything I can with all of our readers and today we have a Mother’s Day contest posted with Lands’ End. We will be offering one winner a $100 gift card to Lands’ End to make her own custom-fit swimsuit! I am so excited that we can offer this and I hope you will head over there to check out all of the contest details.

Bloom Swap-

I got to participate in another swap hosted by Monica & Carrie… two of my most favorite blogging friends in the world! Above is all of the loveliness that my swap partner, Angela from Life with one busy boy, sent to me. Her box was so beautiful and full of spring for me. My favorite item was a pair of pink gardening gloves- perfect for this girly-girl in the garden. I loved my box so much that I missed the photo opportunity and just dug right in. I had to sheepishly email Angela and ask if I could borrow her pictures. What a nice swap partner she was to share them with me!

I skipped the box in favor of my favorite reusable bag from Target. I filled hers with lots of flowery goodness and fun spring accessories for her garden. A fresh pair of garden gloves, flowery cards and pads of paper to put by her phone, and some bulbs to plant in her garden!

Thank you to my swap partner and the swap sisters for making this possible!

Update on My Nephew

Tuesday, April 29th, 2008

I just got off the phone with my mom and Austin is in ICU. His surgery lasted over eight hours yesterday so he was under for a lot longer than they had expected. They are waiting to see if the blood will start flowing and if the blood vessels will attach and begin working before we can be sure that the surgery was a success. He has been sick from being under for that length of time and we are just thankful that he got through it. Please continue to pray that this surgery will be a success for him and for his family.

Thank you all for being so sweet and praying for him. I know that their family really appreciates it and needs your support!

Water & Chalk

Tuesday, April 29th, 2008
Two old margarine tubs filled with water and one package of paint brushes from the dollar store.

Mommy’s yoga mat becomes a soft cushion for the kids to rest their bottoms on while playing on the pavement. Don’t forget the sidewalk chalk so they can make even more cool pavement creations!

Ethan paints a rainbow with water and Emily just loves to paint around herself.

Emily’s painting usually ends up looking like this.

Ethan layers chalk and water to make beautiful hearts for mommy.

Then we make our own little hopscotch game, but that is too boring for a boy.

Ethan calls this, “EXTREME hopscotch.” He even says the word EXTREME in an EXTREME way. The rules are, you jump on number one and then hop 40,000 steps to get to number two and then you have to hop 40,000 more steps to get to the third number. These went all the way down our driveway to the very end. He wanted me to jump it, but that sounded too extreme for mommy, but perfect for an energetic little boy.

Water and chalk provide hours of enjoyment on sunny days. This is how a frugal family spends their day together and I wouldn’t have it any other way!

Prayers for Austin

Monday, April 28th, 2008

Today is a hard day for our family and I am just asking you to lift my six year-old nephew up in your prayers this week. Austin is undergoing a very intense surgery today, where they will be grafting new skin for his leg to replace the nevus that is currently there. He will be in surgery for six hours today and then will be in ICU for seven to ten days. It is hard, as an aunt, to know what he is going through right now and I sit here feeling helpless waiting for any snippets from my sister about how it is going.

We sent Austin off with a little treat- a double batch of blueberry muffins for everyone to snack on while they were waiting. I am becoming a pro at “hospital hospitality” as, I believe, we are on our eighth surgery for Austin and I try to make a little something for them each time they go. It isn’t much, but these are the only things I feel like I can do right now.

Ethan is so worried about his best friend and cousin, so we decided to send pictures that Austin could open each day that he is at the hospital. My sister said she had to hide them because Austin was so excited to see what Ethan had made for him. Ethan said he made things that he thought Austin would think were “super cool” to cheer him up. We numbered them for each day he would be away from us and promised a sleepover at our house when he got better.

Please pray for a swift recovery and bless the surgeons with the skills that are needed to complete the task.

My Ultimate Downfall: Self-Care

Friday, April 25th, 2008

Here are some things I need to admit before I begin discussing self-care:

1. I do not keep my appointments when it comes to my own health care- doctor visits, the hairdresser, annual visits, dentist visits, chiropractor care, or vision exams. This has usually been because I don’t want to take both my children to these visits or because I feel like these appointments can wait. It is rare though that I ever reschedule anything for my children. For myself, it is a regular occurrence.

2. I do not regularly engage in things that are just for me other than social commitments. I struggle with making time to do hobbies I enjoy, doing any regular reading, or indulging in time for quiet reflection for myself.

3. I am pretty good about buying clothes for myself, but I struggle with feeling worthy enough to spend money on myself. This is because I feel that oftentimes the money is better allocated to my children, our house, my spouse, or food. It has gotten to the point that items for myself that have needed replacing seem like “spending urges” rather than the simple fact that sometimes I actually have a need to replace it.

4. At times I feel that engaging in self-care and doing things for myself is selfish and indulgent.

Now do you want to take advice from someone like me? As I have plowed my way through the chapters in our book for discussion (“How Did I Get So Busy,” By Valorie Burton), I had to pause for a moment as I approached the chapters on self-care. In some ways, I feel like I do really well. I do things often with my mom’s group and I try to make time with my closest friends and sister, but these times are often filled with busyness and chasing after kids. While sometimes, during these visits, I get a break, I am not doing things to care for myself during these times. I realize that this is something I really and truly need to work on.

Valorie offers these tips for shifting to a self-care lifestyle:

1. Make a decision to change your life. This is the first time in any life-changing process and she encourages you to want to make that change.

2. Clarify what is no longer acceptable. Shifting from a life of self-care might mean shifting away from a life of busyness. Make a list of what is unacceptable to you in your current lifestyle and what must go in order for you to make the shift to this new life.

3. Clarify what makes you feel well cared for. What really makes you feel cared for? Is it being pampered, cared for, and nourished emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Write down what comes to mind.

4. Make self-care easy. The author suggests making self-care easy and scheduling it into your day just as you would anything else. Set up appointments on the same day of each week or each month so that you can incorporate it easily into your schedule. You could also make it easier by making items that help nourish you easier to access. For example, a foot soak is my favorite thing to do so grouping all of these items together in an accessible spot and scheduling it every Friday (which I used to do each Friday and then lapsed on because I was “too busy”) would make it a scheduled and easy task for me to indulge in.

5. Practice until it becomes a way of life. Refuse to compromise on your self-care and practice, practice, practice doing it. It is okay if you don’t do it perfectly, but make an effort to make self-care a priority in your life.

6. Notice how much easier it is to do what needs to be done when you live a self-care lifestyle. Incorporating self-care will help give you the energy and the foundation to better handle challenges that come your way. Self-care prevents those feelings of being burnt-out because you will now have a cushion to soften the blow.

The challenge with this lesson and chapter is to make a decision to adopt a self-care lifestyle. From this lifestyle, you will automatically eliminate a lifestyle of busyness.

My personal commitment:

1. I am going to schedule my chiropractor appointments regularly again and I am going to schedule and KEEP my dentist & eye exam appointments.

2. I am going to try to do (at least) one nice thing for myself each week- spending time reading, knitting, exercising, or something to pamper myself. It will not necessarily be things that I am spending money on, but it will be a special treat that I don’t often engage in.

3. I will work harder on buying things for myself when I need them. If I hear of a person (like a someone-who-shall-remain-nameless type of person) who needs new underwear and she thinks it is a “silly expenditure,” I will encourage her to go and spend some money on herself because that is the most ridiculous thing I ever heard. And, yes, it has been that bad and that ridiculous for that person and shame on her.

4. I will not use my personal finances as an excuse to not take care of myself, unless that is really and truly true. We do have money for the things I need to care for myself and I will use those resources if they are needed. This doesn’t mean going to a spa resort for a weekend, but it might mean getting my hair trimmed or having my teeth cleaned.

These might seem like minor commitments, but I want you to know that this is a huge commitment for me. I want to be strong in body and mind, but I can’t be if I don’t take care of myself. This might require me to work less on the site so that I can make time to make this a priority, but I also feel that if I had this time that I might have more energy and even more creativity to draw from.

Sound Off: It is safe to admit it, do you struggle with caring for yourself? What is one commitment you could make towards your self-care? What is one thing that you really miss doing for yourself since you became a mom?

(P.S.- It is not selfish, it is self-care and you deserve it!)