Amy Clark | MomAdvice

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The Oprah Interview

Wednesday, February 16th, 2005

Oprah: Amy, take us back to January of 2005. That seems to have been a turning point in your life- what happened?

Amy: Um, can I take a sip of water? Okay (deep sigh) where do I begin?

Oprah: Let’s start with your pregnancy…

Amy: Well, we found out that we were expecting our second child right before Christmas. I can’t tell you how happy we were because we had been trying for a baby for over a year. One hour after I told my husband that we were finally pregnant, I began to spot. I had never had this with my first pregnancy and many of my friends, at the time, had went through miscarriages so I was nervous and upset thinking that this might happen to me as well.

We ran a series of blood work and the day before NYE we were told that things looked good and to go out and celebrate the New Year. Despite receiving this news, I still did not feel comfortable sharing about the pregnancy.

My husband and I went out for dinner to celebrate and then headed to a movie. I stopped at the bathroom and saw more spotting. I just knew that something was wrong.

The next day (on New Year’s Day) I went to the lab for more blood work. This blood work came back abnormal. My progesterone was low.

Oprah: What did this indicate to the doctor?

Amy: That the pregnancy was not a healthy one, but again, the doctor said that things could go either way.

Oprah: So then what happened?

Amy: I was pretty much a wreck at this point. I just couldn’t stop crying uncontrollably. I couldn’t believe that after a year of trying that this would happen to our family and I didn’t think anything could get any worse for me.

Oprah: But it did.

Amy: Yes, my life continued to take a turn for the worse.

Because I was so upset, I did not feel like I could take care of myself or my son. I called my sister and she offered for me to come over there to relax and be taken care of. I think she was trying to get my mind off things.

When I arrived she told me that she had a few errands she needed to run and invited me to come along. We drove over to the local grocery store and picked up a few groceries and headed out to the car. I had my son in one of those carts with the car part in the front and I had to bend down to pick him up to get him out of it. All of a sudden, I started to feel enormous pressure on my back. I know it could have only been for a minute or so, but my instinct kicked in to push back against whatever was pushing me. I heard my sister screaming that someone was hitting me with their car. I was basically pinned between the two cars with my body blocking the cart that was holding my son in it.

Oprah: What did the lady do?

Amy: Well, she didn’t know any English so she continued keeping the car in reverse until she figured it out. Once she figured it out she pulled the car up to free me and then got out of the car and started loading our groceries into the car.

Oprah: Why was she doing that?

Amy: She was reassuring me that I was okay and helping me load the groceries and then was trying to leave. Luckily my sister kept the lady there until the police arrived.

Oprah: I am sure she was arrested.

Amy: No, actually she left without even a ticket (gasp from the audience). She had no license, no insurance, provided a false address, and had no phone number and the cops had to let her go because of some Indiana law having to do with private property. I was then taken over to the emergency room, but they could do nothing for me because of the pregnancy. We had explained that it sounded like I was going to miscarry anyway, but they didn’t want to risk it. The doctor said he had seen too many pregnancies succeed even when doctors said they were doomed to fail.

Oprah: But yours did not succeed did it?

Amy: No, I miscarried the next evening. The whole time I thought that I was miscarrying. I thought a miscarriage was spotting and something like a period because that was how it was explained to me. It was much more than that though- it was one of the longest nights of my life.

At the end of the week I went in for x-rays and they confirmed that I would need treatment, but wanted to wait until I was completely through the miscarriage before beginning treatment. Upon the miscarriage ending, my treatment prescribed was four to six weeks of physical therapy twice a week for a back injury that I had sustained.

Oprah: Wow, that is some story. I am sure that things started to look up for you?

Amy: Well, I was a crying and sobbing mess. Everything made me cry. That whole week, I just cried like a baby every single day. People say the stupidest things when you miscarry. Things like that you will get pregnant again, that your baby was probably retarded, that it was better this way, that this was God’s plan. After I got over the hurt, then I started getting really mean. Like, I hated everyone mean.

I would see a pregnant person and I would immediately hate her only because she was pregnant. Or someone who was pregnant would complain about her back hurting and I would want to scream inside of my head. I would go into the ob/gyn office for follow-ups and have to sit beside four complainin
g pregnant women- it was pure torture. That is when I came up with the idea for the new ob/gyn office and why I am a millionaire today.

Oprah: And what was that idea?

Amy: Well, that we need to set up an ob/gyn office like you would set up a pediatrician’s office. A sick entrance and a well-kid entrance. Instead of that though, you would have an infertile/miscarriage entrance and then an entrance for happy/pregnant people.

I also thought it would be wonderful to have different exam rooms set up too. For the happy/pregnant people, they could have pictures of beautiful babies and serene colors in their rooms. Pictures of mothers with child and all the beautiful fluff that we fill our nursery with.

Then for the infertile/miscarriage people, they could have a room that had no pictures of babies and just happy single amazing women who are living their life to the fullest minus kids. There are pictures of women on vacations, hitting the clubs/bars, and just generally living the good life.

Oprah: What a brilliant idea! Now THAT is what I like to call an, “Ah,ha moment!”

So did your life start looking up after that?

Amy: Well, the week after my idea…

Oprah: Your BRILLIANT idea…

Amy: (modestly) My brilliant idea…my son came down with the croup and an upper respiratory virus and had to spend two nights in the hospital- it was horrible. Our insurance…well, it’s not the best plan we have ever had…let’s just say that despite my ah-ha moment, I had racked up thousands of dollars in good old-fashioned medical bills. It was a low point in our finances, and I just felt beaten down. Maybe this wasn’t God’s plan or maybe it was and He was teaching me to lean on Him. I know my story wasn’t as bad as Job’s in the Bible, but COME ON! I get hit as a pedestrian by a car, I have a miscarriage, I sustain a nasty back injury, my poor little boy is hospitalized for illness, and we get to pay the hospital a gazillion dollars for treatment- this is definitely at a low point. The only good that came of all of this is that I have focused less on myself because I wanted to care for my Ethan so it got me out of the mean stage…well, for awhile anyway.

Oprah: That is an incredible story. What do you think the future holds for you?

Amy: Well, I am going to concentrate more on my website and then I have been thinking of starting this blog, but I have had some hesitations with that. It’s…well…it’s almost like someone is reading your journal. It creeps me out, but it also is quite therapuetic. I thought I would give it a shot.

Oprah: Well, thank you for sharing your story with us. I think we all can learn a lesson from you and good luck with your site and that blog. I understand that blogs are the latest thing.

Amy: And thank YOU, Oprah. I feel like doing my Hallelujah dance just meeting you.

Oprah: And next we will be talking to a mother who is addicted to crack, plastic surgery, and public nudity. Her story is amazing and you won’t want to miss what her kids have to say about their mom….

Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments »

True Confessions of Motherhood

Tuesday, February 15th, 2005

Day one of blogging and I get to begin with a confession- I almost beat my kid today. Yes, call the Child Protective Services because I was inches away from giving my child a royal spanking in Chickfila.

I am not a big fast food junkie, but once a in awhile I enjoy a little fast food. I received a nice free kid’s meal coupon from Michael’s when I went to get some flowers for my table, and thought since I had the craving for fast food that this would be a good time to use it.

I walk in, with Ethan in tow, and he starts saying, “Slide, slide!” Noticing the nice play area behind us, I tell him that we will get to play on the equipment AFTER we eat. I don’t think the sentence had even flowed from my mouth before he was running over to the play area. My SIL tackles him and brings him screaming to me as I try to place my order for a kid’s meal for the very ungrateful child who is now kicking and screaming before me. Trying to keep my cool, I reach for Ethan and he begins to scream, kick, and make himself limp. If you have a toddler I am sure you know exactly the type of limpness that I am referring to. The “I’mgoingtomakemyselfasheavyaspossible” limp. I walk him over to our table and try to put him in the high chair with no success. He is kicking and screaming, “No chair! No chair” There are snot and tears everywhere and he is screaming at the highest tone that he can. I drag him screaming out only to be stopped by a well-meaning stranger who has let me know that he has lost a shoe in the process of kicking me. I take him out to the car and put him in his car seat and shut the door. I do not yell (go me!) or spank him (go me!) but I do contemplate doing both. Instead, I stand outside of the car and breathe deeply and chant, “I will not spank, I will not spank, I will not spank.” My SIL brings the food out to the car and we leave- there are no rewards for bad behavior in this car and the rewards include the coveted french fries as well as playing in the play area. My SIL kindly reports to me that one elderly lady said that she wished she would have turned her hearing aid down since we were so loud. Thanks lady! And your kids were perfect? Tell me, what was that like? UGH!

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

Introductions & Other Formalities

Tuesday, February 15th, 2005

Welcome to my very first blog! I am excited and nervous about starting this venture. Excited because I enjoy reading other mommy blogs, but nervous because of my track record with journals and baby books. I hope that you can enjoy reading some of my adventures in motherhood and more about me personally.

I am a SAHM of a two year old little guy named Ethan. My husband (Ryan) and I have been married for a little over 4.5 years and are currently residing in good ol’ Indiana. I run a little website called MomAdvice.com and am currently serving as co-leader of our local Mothers & More chapter. I love to cook, read, eat, and enjoy long walks in the park…wait! Is this a personal ad or a blog??

Enjoy!!

Posted in Announcements | No Comments »

Raising Creative Kids

Saturday, February 12th, 2005

“Where did he come up with that?” Kids often amaze us with their imaginative ideas, and we should give ourselves a pat on the back for playing a role in this development. Innovative thinking is essential for success in school and in life, and it’s our job as parents to nurture our kids’ innate desire to be creative. Inventive play fosters original thinking, an asset when children are confronted with new situations. By providing activities that use their creativity and imaginations, we are giving our children an important tool to deal with life down the road.

Give them ideas

Children come up with things to do on their own, but we also need to provide them with new ideas of interesting activities. Think back to what you did as a kid. Did you write a diary, create elaborate puppet shows, or sing and dance for relatives? Share ideas from your own childhood experiences. Offer creative writing ideas like writing an episode for a favorite television show or writing a new ending to a favorite story. Craft projects offer another outlet for inspiring imaginations. Craft kits, especially those from Curiosity Kits and ALEX, offer a wide variety of unusual and fun projects. They’ve brought us a long way from the sock puppets of our youth. These manufacturers offer ideas and supplies to make such things as scrapbooks, powerballs, soaps, candy, sun catchers, dolls, planes, dinosaurs, jewelry treasures, and lots of decorative items. Kids can gather ideas from the instructions, and then give the projects their own unique touches.

Keep ideas fresh

Pick up any parenting magazine and you’ll find lots of ideas to get those creative juices flowing in your kids. Search the web and check out craft stores. Keep a journal or file for magazine clippings and ideas as you find them. Stockpile so that you’ll know how to answer the whiny “I’m bored” call from your kids.

Give them freedom

Once you’ve given your kids some suggestions and supplies, step back and see which they choose and where they go with them. This unstructured play time gives kids an opportunity to stretch their creative muscles. Watch as they incorporate your ideas and branch out on their own.

Set an example.

Chances are, if you are a creative person, your child will be too. You display creativity in your everyday activities like when you reason with a disgruntled child, change lyrics to songs, and maybe even do some interpretive dancing to entertain a toddler. Your children see your silliness and it rubs off on them. You surely use creativity to juggle your and your family’s schedules. It’s a great idea to point out to your kids how you use creativity in your daily life.

As parents, we always try to do the very best for our kids and provide opportunities that will help them mature into intelligent, capable adults. Nurturing their creative spirits helps them along this road. With their well-developed imaginations, maybe they’ll turn it into a yellow brick, pink polka-dotted road with sparkles!

Posted in Education, Family, Kids Crafts | No Comments »

Price Books 101

Sunday, January 23rd, 2005

Several months ago, I thought I knew it all on how to save money when grocery shopping. I have found, however, that there is always more to learn as months later I am beginning to address this topic again. I know I am not the only one who thinks that we are playing a game when we go to the grocery store. Educated consumers walk away with loads of goodies for minimal money and others of us fork over the big bucks for the same exact thing. What sets one shopper apart from another? How do you beat the grocery game? Is it really all about coupons and rebates?

Let’s begin by discussing the fliers that you receive in your mailbox each week which outline the stores deals and steals for that week’s particular campaign. These items are called the store’s loss leaders. Loss leader simply means that the store is losing money by offering these items to you at a lower price in hopes that you are going to do the rest of your grocery shopping with them. Will you, an educated consumer, necessarily put all of your money down into one store? Absolutely not! An educated consumer walks away with the loss leaders and adds nothing more to her basket unless the prices are unbeatable elsewhere. How does this educated consumer know that these prices cannot be beaten? They know this because they keep a price book.

A price book will make you the smartest consumer in the store because you will actually know whether or not an item really is on sale or not. Begin by setting your price book up in a way that makes it easy for you to use. There are two common ways that price books are set up- alphabetically or categorically. I find my price book is easier to use when it is set up by category because it is easier for me to locate milk under the category of dairy rather then the letter M.

Each page in your price book should contain the date, name of your grocery store (use a code that is easy for you to remember), the brand of the item, the size of the item, the price of the item, and then the unit price of the item. The unit price can be discovered by dividing- size/price. The unit price can also usually be found on the actual grocery sticker below the item which can save you some time in the math department.

Here is a sample of what a price book entry would look like for Peanut Butter:

Date	Store	Brand	Size/Price	Unit Price
10/14	Jim’s	Store Brand	18 oz/.99	.88 lb

The first couple of months of filling your price book is very tedious, but after you have logged this information in for awhile the best deals will emerge and you will also see a pattern in the store’s timing of these sales. For example, you will know that John Doe’s Supermarket runs their special on pasta at 25 cents a box every July and January.

Begin filling your price book by writing in all of the items that appear in your local fliers and the unit prices on them. After filling in these, you can then begin logging in all of the receipts that you have from your past visits to the grocery store. Doing this the first time was rather sickening when I wrote all of it in for our family because this is when I realized my steal of a deal was actually a dud. Don’t kick yourself when discovering this; pat yourself on the back instead because you know you will be saving money from this moment on.

Write in your price book items that you purchase on a regular basis: bread, milk, eggs, cheese, etc… Your job this month will be to fill this price book with this information on your next grocery trip.

One good strategy that I found when reading The Tightwad Gazette by Amy Dacyczyn was to shop at different stores each week of the first month so that within a thirty day cycle you can hit all of the stores and begin filling your price book with each of the store’s information. By the end of the thirty days you will have a clearer picture on the great sales each of the stores run.

As time goes on your entries will slow down and your price book will now be a great reference to you. The real question is what do you do with this information and how do you make it work to your advantage? I find that the best thing you can do is that when you see a particular item on sale at a great price then stock up! And up and up and up! The last thing you want to do is have to buy that item when you run out of it because chances are there will be no sale in site and you will be stuck paying full price for that peanut butter that you are now scraping the bottom of. Buy as much as your budget allows, but be smart about how much you buy and how much you can use between now and the next sale. The last thing you want to do is to stock up on bologna and then end up throwing half of it out because it has gone bad before you could eat it. I tend to stock up the most on items that I can freeze, staples, and pantry items.

I hope that this month you can make it your goal to discover the best deals in your local market. There is definitely something empowering about having your own price book. More empowering though is knowing that your wallet is just a little bit fatter then it would have been had you not been armed with this information.

Posted in Frugal, Grocery Lists, Saving | No Comments »

Top 3 Lessons Learned from an Expectant Mom

Thursday, January 20th, 2005

Getting pregnant today means being overwhelmed with warnings from family, friends, strangers, the Internet, books, and a number of other sources. These sources can become so domineering that they can begin to take over, making an expectant mother feel inadequate even before the new bundle arrives. In the third trimester of my first pregnancy I would like to offer the top three things I’ve learned to other expectant mothers – not about how to mother, but about how to cope in this age of fearful pregnancy.

First, don’t let everyone else dictate what’s important to you and your family. You may want to listen politely but don’t feel obligated to take the advice you’ll hear. Stick to your guns if something is important to and your partner. I never wanted to find out the sex of our baby – a rarity these days – but my husband was almost pushed into it. When we broke the sad news that we wouldn’t, in fact, be able to find out whether my sister gets the nephew she so desperately wants or my mother-in-law gets the granddaughter she intends to spoil, our families were shocked. Devastated! How could they plan for this child without knowing its sex!?!

Still, it is important not to give in to everyone else’s ideas about how you should treat your pregnancy. Some decisions – most of them, in fact – are between you and your partner and really should be firm decisions the two of you make together without your parents or siblings or friends interfering. Everyone in the world, from your co-worker to complete strangers in the bookstore, will try to tell you about why you should breastfeed or have cameras in the delivery room. It is wise to make decisions independently of this “advice,” no matter how well intentioned.

Second, beware of what you read. I went out and faithfully purchased a pregnancy journal, a baby name book, and What to Expect When You’re Expecting shortly after I found out we were having a baby. The journal has come in handy; I must admit. As a writer, I want to record this journey to look back on fondly and to give my child an idea of what Mommy was like before he or she entered the world. The baby name book is quite a distraction. With 30,000 names, definitions, and origins at our disposal, we’ve still returned to the few names we came up with on our own before the baby name book entered our lives.

What to Expect, the anointed Bible of pregnancy, has some helpful information. I’ve found the answers to questions I didn’t want to ask my doctor or ones I asked but didn’t get answered. Still, the book is part of a culture of fear surrounding pregnancy today. I cannot count the number of times I’ve thought, “Didn’t women have babies for millennia before they knew this?” Granted, I’m glad we know that milk and other calcium-rich products are necessary for a healthy baby. I want to know that my doctor can order an ultrasound to tell if there are problems in my pregnancy. Reading all of the information out there, though, is impossible given the short time-span in which a pregnancy occurs. Trying to sift through that information is even more daunting a task, and forget about making sure you get just enough zinc but not too much magnesium in your diet. A pregnant woman could drive herself crazy thinking about all of the admonitions she hears during what should be a joyous time.

Finally, savor the moment. With baby due in 10 weeks, I actually feel relaxed. We have some of the décor for the nursery but not all of it. We are spending a weekend painting and rearranging – okay, I’m mainly supervising – to get everything ready for our little miracle. My husband and I are probably the only expectant parents who laugh hysterically when we visit baby stores. We’re shocked at the material possessions our baby needs to be a happy child. A compulsive list-maker, I have a list of all of the people my husband will need to call once the baby’s born. I have a list of what I’m packing for us to take, and I even know the date I will lug the suitcases out and pack them. Of course, I’m hoping our little one does not plan on an early arrival, but even in that event, I have my list handy. I picked out a place to order food to pick up for our first night home.

I am pretty organized about this pregnancy, but it is important to do it in a relaxed manner. I love sitting back and watching my tummy contort with the baby’s movements, and I’ve enjoyed spending quiet time with my husband in our last months before parenthood. It is key not to feel caught up in the whirlwind of modern parenting, buying everything out there for your child and forgetting to put emphasis on the most precious cargo – the baby.

Posted in New Parents & Babies | No Comments »

How to Potty Train a Toddler in Two Days

Saturday, January 8th, 2005

Ah, potty training!

Go to a local bookseller and you will find dozens of books on the subject. Search the Net and there are thousands of websites with information on how to do it stress free. There are even people who are capitalizing on a parent’s frustration with potty training by offering to do it for you, for a hefty sum! I honestly can’t imagine anything more unseemly than paying someone to teach my child to “go”.

Ewwww!!!

I have successfully potty trained two out of 3 kids so far, baby number 3 is only 14 months so she is off the hook for a few months at least!

I seem to be the envy of the playgroups when other Moms see that my 3 year old son has been in whitey tighties for over a year. My oldest was also 2 when he potty learned.

For me, potty training starts with a newborn. Now don’t get me wrong…I do diaper my babes (unlike the native African mothers who wear their babies on their backs and who, to avoid being soiled on, learn to read their babies’ cues so well that they know when their newborn needs to be held over a bush…no, I’m not kidding!) but I have always used cloth diapers, which encourages babies to train early. I’m not a longhaired, barefoot, off-the-grid hippie (not that there’s anything wrong with that, but you’re more likely to find me in Doc Martens than Birkenstocks!) but I have been cloth diapering since the beginning.

It has saved me hundreds and hundreds of dollars, but I also like the fact that my babies begin to make the association with the uncomfortable wet feeling and the knowledge that they can prevent it. Most babies will wake up dry in the morning at several months of age, demonstrating that they are physically able to “hold it”. In my opinion, Pull Ups are evil and yet another invention that some clever businessman came up with that parents now think is a necessity. Along with formula, baby swings, and the like. Pull Ups just enable a 5 year old to keep soiling himself. Research has shown that cloth diapered babies potty learn several months earlier than disposable diapered babies.

So here’s Grandma’s recipe (and I do owe it to my Mother, like most of the good stuff I know about parenting) for easy potty training, even if you choose not to cloth diaper.

Let your baby come into the bathroom when you go. That way, they know what’s going on in there. You don’t have to get graphic, just talk to them about what toilets are for. If you are a woman at home all day with boy children, encourage Daddy to show ’em how it’s done. You don’t want them thinking that if they go on the toilet their equipment will fall off, like Mum’s obviously did. Strange, but true…some tots will come to this conclusion.

Buy 3 or 4 of those cheap little molded plastic potties and put them around the house. At least, one in each bathroom and one in the kitchen or the room where you spend the most time with your child. Stick a towel underneath for the sake of your carpet if said child is a boy. Speaking of boys…you can take advantage of nature here by keeping an open mind. I know at least one boy who was trained when his Mom let him go off the side of the deck.

The summer that your child is closest to two, take two days and don’t leave the house. Let your child run around naked from the waist down, with a big tee shirt on top so that private parts stay private.

Every 10 minutes, place the child matter-of-factly on the pot. DO NOT ASK inane questions like “Do you need to go potty sweetie pie!?” We are talking about dealing with a two year old here! Just do it like it’s the thing to do, and don’t ask permission. Don’t force it, and if he/she wants to get up right away, let him or her.

If you have a resistant child, set a timer to go off every 10 minutes. It’s amazing what a child will do when the power dynamic is taken away. When the “potty timer” goes off, it’s time to sit on the pot!

Use praise but don’t go overboard. Act like this is the expected thing. Be cool. Say “You put peepee in the potty, just like Mommy and Daddy (and big brother, and your older play group friend…3rd parties are gold here!!) do.

Don’t make a big deal out of what’s happening. Don’t spend hours reading potty training books or videos to the child. Again, be cool. If you make it into a big deal, your child will be more likely to dig in and resist.

Have some “big boy shorts” or “big girl panties” that you know your child will like, perhaps that you have picked out together, ready for the end of the two days. Your child will be less likely to have accidents if s/he is going to mess up their new undies.

When the inevitible accidents happen, don’t scold. Be patient and gracious. This is part of the job. Remember that even if you decide to spring for carpet cleaning, you will still come out ahead if you don’t have to buy diapers for another year or two!

Posted in Early Childhood | No Comments »

Surviving Winter Break

Saturday, December 18th, 2004

Winter break is much shorter than the summer break, but for many parents it feels like the longer of the two breaks. Being cooped up in the house can make parents and children crazy after a few days let alone weeks on end. Here are ten ideas for you and your children to help you survive the long winter days without blowing your budget or losing your sanity.

Have an indoor picnic with your children. Spread out a blanket and pack a basket of your favorite picnic foods. Take this time to chat about what you miss most about the summer.
Have a family night playing your board games. Offer a grab bag of prizes (purchased from your local dollar store) or let the winner give up their chores for the day.
Indulge your children in fun winter craft ideas. My two favorite sites to hit during the winter season are dltk-kids.com and familyfun.com. Make sure you are stocked on plenty of craft supplies so you don’t have to make a trip out in the cold weather. Do these crafts with your children because they are the types of activities your children will remember for years to come.
Have a day of cooking with your children. Cooking with your kids teaches them valuable skills and also gives them precious time with you. Have smaller children help you measure, stir dry ingredients, and count out ingredients with you. Allow older children to do things themselves under your supervision. Be sure to eat some of the treats you made together and have your child present them to your spouse. It is such a joy to see our children looking so proud of what they have done.
Find out what your local library has to offer. Many offer amazing classes and story hours for children during the winter months. You can also take them to pick out their own books, movies, and music to be enjoyed together or alone.
Play in the snow with your kids. Help them build snow angels, go sledding, build a snow fort, or create a snowman. After a hard morning of playing in the snow, come inside and have a nice warm cup of hot chocolate complete with marshmallows and whipped cream.
Have a beach day in the middle of winter. What could be more fun than a little beach music, drinks with little umbrellas, a big beach ball, and beach chairs? Dress in your swimsuits (if you dare) and toss around the beach ball.
Make your own snow. All you need is soap flakes, water, liquid starch, and white powdered tempra. Mix soap flakes with water into a thick paste. Let your child mix this with a hand beater. Add a small amount of liquid starch and tempra. Let your child create designs by painting with this mixture.
Find a pen pal for your child. ks-connection.org is a website that is devoted towards providing children and schoolteachers pen pals from all over the world.
Exercising is the one thing neglected by all members of the family when the colder weather comes around. Pop in an exercise video or some music and exercise with your children. Older children can be encouraged to use exercise equipment or join you in your own exercise routine. For those who are more creative, let loose and just dance.

With these ideas, winter does not have to be a bore. Don’t forget to stop by your local library to find more resources on activities for children. I hope with these tips in mind your break will fly by and the time spent with your children is treasured in both of your hearts forever.

Posted in Early Childhood, Holidays | No Comments »

Homeschooling and Home Business

Monday, November 29th, 2004

“You want to homeschool your children AND run a home business? And you think you can do both of those things—and do them well?”

The answer to that question is a resounding YES! There is no reason why you cannot home educate and have a thriving home business at the very same time. What is one very important ingredient that you must have to be successful at both?

Time Management Skills!

Now is not the time to throw organization to the wind. In fact, in order to fulfill all the obligations on your plate, you will want to have an orderly schedule for each day. A Day Planner or good calendar is a must!

Having a scheduled day does NOT mean that creativity and/or spontaneity is thrown to the wind. Quite the opposite. An orderly schedule ensures that spontaneity can arise without wrecking havoc with the rest of the day’s obligations! It provides you the ability to be creative, without sacrificing your family’s needs at the same time.

Avail yourself to the numerous time management resources that there are out there—free for the taking, including books at your local library. You will be encouraged, even if you don’t adopt their particular approach, and some things you will want to schedule:

Household chores

Both yours and the children’s. One warning: Do not attempt to schedule in your husbands, unless he specifically requests for you to do so. We have found that scheduling a husband makes for more difficulties in a marriage than it does help! Let your husband decide for himself whether or not he wants to get in on this scheduling thing—and in what manner.

School Work

There are so many different methods of home education that I won’t try and tell you how to schedule in your style. But regardless of your particular style of homeschooling, the work won’t get done if there isn’t a designated time to do it. We prefer to set aside 3 hours for “school” every morning after breakfast—an hour for math, an hour for writing, logic, and other such tasks, and an hour for educational reading (good living books full of history, philosophy, etc).

Those three hours are serious school time—and the children get more accomplished during those three hours than they ever would during a typical eight-hour public school day! Thus, school doesn’t drag on and on, boring everyone to tears and putting more demands on me than I can meet…and yet enough time is given (and taken seriously) that we are able to accomplish quite a bit more than you’d think possible!

Business Time

You have to set some “office hours” for your business, or you’ll rarely work your business. For me, my office hours are the wee hours of the morning, before the children arise, and the one hour each afternoon when we have our “rest time.” The little ones take naps, and the older ones have a “lie down” period where they can read silently, and/or listen to a story tape (we are huge fans of Patch the Pirate, by the way!) or classical music—something relaxing. That is my office time, where I make my phone calls, do my computer work, send out cards to my business team, etc… The children benefit from having a time each day to mellow out, and our business is able to grow—maybe not as fast as it would if I could put in 8 hours a day, but it DOES grow!

My priorities are as follows:

My God (or whatever that means to you)
My husband
My children
My business

When I put my business first, everything else suffers. It can be tempting to do, but I’d recommend NOT even “going there.” In my opinion, more important than a monthly check is a healthy spiritual life, having a happy husband and a good marriage, and growing thriving children. And the funny thing is, that even though my business receives approximately 2 hours of my time each day, which is not a lot of time, it’s still growing much faster than we’d expected! Those two small hours are taken seriously, and I use them as efficiently as I can…and the business grows, step by little step.

But some of you might not suffer from putting your business ahead of other priorities. Some of you may suffer from not putting your business anywhere at all! That’s fine…if you don’t ever want anything to happen with your business, that is. Let me explain. We homeschooling parents are BUSY people. We have so many demands on our day that often, the loudest voice wins. Therefore, if you don’t put your business SOMEWHERE in your schedule, you will rarely work your business, if ever…which translates into very little money made.

You know what your business goals are, right? Make sure they are reasonable, and then…make sure you provide yourself the time to make those goals come to life! Even a half hour a day is something—and that small investment of your time (day in, day out, when it’s fun and when it’s not) will help your business grow.

Homeschooling your children and running a successful home business, all at the same time? Yes, it takes disciplined effort, but YES, it CAN happen!

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Make Time for Yourself During the Holidays

Monday, November 8th, 2004

Eliminate Stress

During this busy holiday season, it is often hard to remember to take care of ourselves. This is not only because of all of our holiday obligations listed on our calendars, but also because of the financial strains that our budgets go under after buying all of those gifts.

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It is important, now more than ever, to remember to take a little time for yourself each day. There are many inexpensive ways to care for yourself and here are a few ways that I will try to take time out for myself during these next upcoming months.

Try to eliminate as much stress as you can so that you have time to take care of yourself. Set aside time each day to accomplish one of your holiday goals that you need to get done. Setting aside an hour each day to purchase gifts, wrap gifts, address cards, and make batches of cookies is much more manageable then trying to do that around all of your family’s scheduled events.

If you are one of those crazy moms who finds herself always scampering around at the last minute trying to get all of your holiday shopping, wrapping, and baking done at the last minute, then it might be helpful to find information that will help you in achieving a more organized holiday. Ironically, there is a great website out there called, Organized Christmas that will be right up your alley when trying to stay on track this holiday season. With all of the proper planning and the great advice that this site has to offer, it will be much easier to not be as stressed.

I have also found that with all of the family events that seem to fall on our calendar, many times we have discovered that our own little family hasn’t gotten to really enjoy our own Christmas together. Remember that it is okay to tell your extended family that you have your own family traditions and that you may not be able to make it to everything. There is little joy to be had in running around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to attend every single thing and enjoying nothing.

Also in order to continue eliminating stresses try not to take on the role of the martyr during the holiday season. If you have volunteered to take over one of the holiday dinners, request that everyone bring a dish or two to help ease the burdens that always get piled on the hostess. This is not the time to work yourself to death or to be resentful towards your loved ones; this is your time to devote towards those closest to you and to remember what the holiday season is all about.

Pamper Yourself

Automatically whenever I think of the phrase “pamper yourself” I immediately think of the day spa. I have never had the pleasure of going to a day spa, but it seems like if I really wanted to pamper myself, that is exactly where I would head.

With my limited budget I have found that there are a lot of more creative ways out there to really indulge myself without spending a bunch of money. Here are a few ideas that I enjoy indulging in:

Pour yourself a big mug of hot chocolate and add all of the yummy additions such as marshmallows, whipped cream, and a sprinkle of cocoa powder to make you feel like you have just spent the day at Starbucks. Couple this mug of hot chocolate with the addition of a big fat library book and turn on some jazz music to create that Barnes and Noble feel without the temptations of buying anything.

Run yourself a nice hot bath, light some candles, and pour yourself a glass of wine. Take that smutty magazine that you have been dying to read, but never seem to find the time and actually read all of the celebrity gossip and latest fashion advice.
Hit your local beauty school for the extra pampering you deserve, but could not afford on a high-end salon budget. At our local beauty school a pedicure is only $15, a manicure is $10, and an hour and a half massage is $25! Those are amazing services and you get the added bonus of helping a student complete her certification.
While working on Christmas cards and wrapping gifts, enjoy an old holiday movie that brings you joy and memories from your past Christmases. It is hard to be stressed when watching, “It’s a Wonderful Life.” It is even harder to be stressed when watching “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.”
Take a night off from cooking once in awhile and enjoy a nice meal out. This is a good time to actually use some of those coupons that you have cut out from the local paper and enjoy a night free of dishes and the stress of worrying about what you are going to eat. Keep in mind that this does not have to be the best restaurant in town, but if your spouse offers than don’t turn him down.

Even menial chores that need to be done around the house can be a time of pampering when festive music is played or candles are lit creating a more peaceful feel around your home.

Enjoy the Holiday

There are so many things in life that we look forward to and then in an instant they are gone and we can’t believe that we had spent hours, days, and months preparing for them. Try not to let this holiday slip by you unnoticed. Savor each moment with your family, with your friends, and enjoy the true meaning and spirit of these joyous holidays ahead of you. I am one of those people who often find myself not ever opening my gifts because I am so anxious to see the expressions on my loved one’s faces when they open the gift that I got for them. Really take the time to look around you at each of these faces- around the dinner table, around the Christmas tree, and while enjoying that special Christmas church service and thank your blessings that you have gotten to spend another holiday with them. By focusing on these things, you hopefully will have no time to focus on the stress that the holiday brings along with it.

With all of these things in mind, I am wishing you a peaceful, pampered, and enjoyable holiday season!

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