It has been awhile since I have blogged about my personal life and I am sure you are all dying to get a little glimpse into my real life so I am going to do a “real” blog today.
Can I just say, where the heck did all of my time go? I am running around like a chicken with its head cut off and am accomplishing very little these days.
When I started my website I thought to myself, “Wow! Wouldn’t it be great if like two of my friends came on my site and we pretended like I was a writer? Wouldn’t that be so much fun?” I started my website and thought what a nice little release it would be for me to feel like I had a little place in the internet world.
This began as my little great idea that would take a little bit of my valuable time and it has turned into a monster in time suckage.
Here was my typical day…
Eat breakfast with Ethan
Watch cartoons
Play with toys
Take a nap
Work on errands/cleaning house/paying bills
Make dinner
Watch Tivo
Eat snack
Hit the sack
Now here is my typical day…
Wake up groggy because I spent the whole night thinking about what I should have been doing while sleeping and coming up with brilliant ideas that I want to write about when I have “free time”
Have coffee- skip breakfast because who the heck has time for that?
Check email, check email, check email
Check site for latest posts- come up with something great for the forum
Check Google to see if we made any money
Check the statistics of the site to make sure we had visitors
Get quoted for magazines (yes, as unbelievable as that is….)
Answer phone all morning from friends that I have neglected and generally feel like crap
Apologize to family for not keeping in better touch and never letting them see our family
Feel like crap because I can’t get everything done
Check my email!
Answer phone to people who have confused voices thinking that they are calling a company and realize that I really am a mom who stays home as they try to listen to me over the sound of my child laughing/screaming/crying as I change him. Then hear disappointment in their voices as they realize that I am what I say I am.
Play with my son and feel guilty as he watches television while I run around trying to clean house/pay bills/grumble to myself about not enough time.
Check email, check Google, check statistics
Ethan takes a nap- I write
Make a pathetic attempt at dinner and apologize as I am too tired to be more inventive
Check email, check Google, check statistics.
Watch ten minutes of television with hubby on respective couches.
Try to read for ten minutes, but realize that I am too distracted to devote more than three minutes to any one thing.
Collapse.
I now realize why I see websites shutting down all the time because people just don’t have time anymore. I also see the potential in outsourcing help from China and the potential in child-slave labor- I feel like they can write about menu-planning just as well as I can, right??
So when you see me and I am a scattered ball of nerves and you feel like I have no time for you, please understand and don’t make me feel more guilty than I already do- I am just a mom who stays at home and wants more than anything to relax the way I once did.