Photo Credit: David Reece
It is no secret that our family endured almost a year of unemployment and a mountain of credit card debt that came along with it. I often look back on that time in our lives and wonder how we ever did it. How did we make that situation work? How did our marriage survive it? How did we manage to keep our home and our car?
There are so many families right now that are truly suffering… in much worse ways than we have ever had to endure. This time of difficulty is supposed to turn around in our economy and in many ways it has for many. I know though that many others are still enduring hardship and struggling to overcome these difficulties.
With that being said, I wanted to share with you some ways you can make a difference in the life of someone who is undergoing financial struggle and unemployment. You can make an incredible difference in the life of someone who is struggling and, in most cases, it won’t even cost you a dime!
Lend an Ear- The most important thing you can do for someone who is having a hard time financially is to just sit and let them talk. Let them share with you the anger that they have over their situation, let them cry tears of grief over the struggles they are enduring, and celebrate with them when those times turn around.
Let them talk about what they feel like talking about and try not to push them to tell more than they feel comfortable with. It is a very brave thing to do to open up and tell someone that you are struggling and it takes time and trust for them to want to share this private information with you.
Photo Credit: Jim Sisko
Offer To Babysit- The #1 cause for divorce is money problems. When a spouse is unemployed, particularly the male in the family, it is such a difficult time in a marriage because so much of one’s pride and self-esteem comes from being able to contribute financially to the family.
The best thing you can do to keep that marriage growing strong is offer to support them by babysitting for them. Give the family the time they need to have a date night or just to have time to quietly do some job searching.
If you have the finances to offer a gift card for a night out, that is a wonderful and thoughtful touch. Think of fun budget-friendly things they could do like going bowling, or a gift card to Barnes & Noble for books or coffee, or a gift certificate to the movie theater.
Better yet, supply a gift that they could use for several nights in like a new board game, an electronic game, a Netflix membership, or ingredients for a fun meal that they could make at home. These are simple gifts that could supply many nights of fun for them during a difficult patch in their marriage.
Meals on Wheels- One of my favorite things to do for people during these times is to just drop off a dinner to them or to bring a meal when I come over to spend time with them. Try to make a big batch of food that could get them through one or two nights when money is tight.
If you lack the cooking gene, head over to the supermarket and pick up a take-and-bake pizza, popcorn, and some break-and-bake cookies. These are likely fun food that have been removed from the grocery budget and will be just as much appreciated as a home cooked meal.
Photo Credit: David Kosaco
Hire the Unemployed- Check around at your own place of unemployment, contact your friends through social media sites like Facebook or Twitter, and tap into as many people in your network as you can to find a job for your loved one. Do your part to get their resume out there!
If you aren’t able to find them a job, consider hiring them for some odds and ends jobs around your house. When one of our family members lost their job, we offered to hire him to remove wallpaper and paint our bathroom. It was a job in our house that we were not looking forward to doing and he was looking for a way to make some extra money. We both felt really good about the project and, in the end, it was the money that helped put the Christmas gifts under their tree. In my opinion, that is a total win-win situation!
Be an Anonymous Giver- Pride gets in the way of sometimes getting the help that someone might need. No one wants to say, “I don’t have money for groceries this month. Can you give me some?”
I have some very prideful people in my life who would never tell me when they were struggling. I have learned that anonymous gifts are sometimes the best kinds of gifts to give in these situations. Mail them a gift card or leave pantry ingredients on their doorstep.
Photo Credit: quadzillaquadzillaqu adzilla
Little Things are Sometimes the Best Things- There are so many little ways that you can help those that are struggling that can add up in big ways. Clean out your pantry and bring over the extra food to someone who is struggling, pick up a movie for them, stock them up on diapers for the baby, buy them detergent or paper products that can typically drain the grocery budget, offer to babysit while they run resumes, pass on your old magazines or books for a sweet little pick-me-up, weed through your children’s clothes and share those hand-me-downs, send them a card that you are thinking of them, pray for them daily, and cheer them up when you talk on the phone.
Even though I don’t like to focus on the negative, here is a little advice on things not to do-
- Don’t harass them every day to ask if th
ey have found a job yet. Know that you are likely going to be one of the first people that would be contacted and let them talk about their successes when they occur. - Don’t criticize their unemployed spouse. As I have said before, marriage is hard when a spouse is unemployed and it is important that you do your best not to contribute to the negativity. Allow them to vent, but don’t fuel the fire.
- Do your best not to chastise them if they are angry or hurt over what is happening in their lives. Many well-meaning people try to correct anger instead of letting them work through it. Simply saying, “I know this must be tough!” will go a lot further in these situations then correcting their feelings.
As someone who has been on both sides of the fence, you will never know what it will mean to that person to be a steady rock for them to lean on. Try to think beyond yourself and do one nice thing for someone who is unemployed today. It will mean more than you will ever know!
Are you struggling with unemployment or have you struggled with it in the past? What is one thing you could recommend that others can do to help? What is the best thing someone has done for you or someone you love?
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40 Responses to “How You Can Help the Unemployed Today”
This is an awesome post. My best friend's husband was just laid off last week and your post provided some insight on what I can do to help.
Thanks for blogging-I always enjoy it!
Stephanie
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My husband has been unemployed for 3 months now and I am a SAHM with baby #2 due tomorrow. I have actually confided in very few people that we are in this position because I don't want people to worry. We were prepared with money in savings for something like this and I know once baby #2 is born we are going to need help. We would still want help w/o unemployment to worry about, but the extra expenses and doctor visits that come with an infant will have an impact. I have appreciated the surprise that come in the mail from friends because I don't want to talk about the position we are in. I appreciate knowing they understand, care & want to help but without the need for face to face discussion. I am not ready to talk to people about it and I keep hoping things get better soon and don't get worse. It's hard to ask for help and I don't want to be judged.
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Excellent post. : ) I have been through an extended period of unemployment/underemployment, and I think you said it all. I was so grateful when someone took me out for coffee, lunch, or a movie.
S., California
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Excellent post. Our family has been on both sides of the fence too. Friends hired him to do odd jobs and paid him (generously) for his efforts. We received an anonymous cash gift to use for Christmas gifts for our girls, and my favorite was several gift cards to a local grocery store.
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Anonymous- I am sure that it is difficult to ask for help. I also know what it feels like to be the person that wants to help, but can't because they have no idea what is going on.
Don't be afraid to share with people you love and trust. I know they would want to help. Hopefully this post will offer some insight on things they could do to help you during this difficult time.
You are in my thoughts!!
Nancy- What fantastic friends!! I am sure those were huge blessings for you!
Stephanie- I am so thankful for the timing of this. I know you will be a great friend to your best friend through all of this!
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Hi Amy! This is so beautifully written and reveals how important it is to be mindful that we really never truly know what's happening with people and why we need to have grace at every turn. Your ideas are so easy to do and speak to the heart of what's most valuable in our relationships, unconditional love and not being judgemental. If it takes a village to raise our children, surely our community can care for the grown ups involved. Hoping everyone shares this…its as simple as sharing your smile!
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that was absolutely one of the best posts you've ever written…we have several unemployed friends in our church right now…I plan on doing several of those things for them!!!
THANK YOU!
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Very Kind…Thank you.
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Great post – tx for the one about not criticizing the spouse. I have a friend whose husband has been out of work/temp working for three years now (tech field, hard jobs to come by in this economic climate), and I've been really struggling w/how to talk with her. She vents that he won't accept a lower-paying (or lower-prestige) job, and she's working 3 jobs at a time just to cover their household expenses. I want to agree with her, but you're right: don't contribute to the negativity, just encourage. Tx for the words of wisdom!
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A-
I know exactly what you are talking about and I know how hard it is t hold your tongue. The thing is that if things turn around and they do get a job, your friend is going to remember the negative things you said about their spouse…even if they were feeling that themselves. It is so hard, but maybe vent to your own spouse or another friend that you can trust about how frustrated you with that situation.
I am so glad you read this- thank you so much for your comment!!
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What a great post!!! My son-in-law
has been out of work since June of 2008. He is back in school (he graduated from IU in 1991) for a specific certification in the medical field. We have done what we could to help but I do know that pride is an issue. Gift cards are great….then people can get what they need or want. Staples like TP/Paper towels/toothpaste
are easy to pick up at the Dollar Store and just drop off. We try to stay on top of what the kids need ie money for camp or youth group activities…sometimes your church will allow you to sponsor a child in need annonymously…You can offer to run errands for someone out of work….saving them the cost of gas.
Amy, this was a wonderful post…there is much need and heart ache involved in being unemployed….we have been known to tell a little white lie…like "we rec'd this as a gift and can't use it so we'd like to pass it on to you" when in fact we just bought it for them…..
God Bless, Pam, South Bend
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I'm a single mom of 6 and just recently lost what little bit of a job that I have. I've already burned through my savings when my hours were cut back a few months ago. I appreciate the pointers in this article. I wish some of my friends would read it.
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What a wonderful post,and I'm so thankful to have read it. I like the idea of an anonymous gift, we've done that before, and will do it again. We also like to either buy or make blankets out of fleece to give out. Especially this time of year I think people might appreciate a little extra warmth!
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Amy, as always, this is an excellent post! So many thoughtful and practical ideas all rolled into one articulate post. Brava!
I was laid off in Feb, and have recently decided to become a SAHM. While we were still struggling with my looking for work and paying for full-time childcare, the best thing we had going for us were "free" date nights. We had gift cards left from Christmas, and a family member who regularly took our son for an evening. Those nights were life saving for our marriage. I'm glad you included some of those in your tips, because it's sometimes hard to have fun when you're freaked out about finances.
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I really can't say enough about how RIGHT ON this post is! My man has been unemployed for almost 4 weeks now, and there's so much that I've learned through this situation. If nothing else, I'll know how to better serve others facing this difficult situation. God IS and will CONTINUE to be faithful!
Thank you so much for sharing this with all of us!
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Excellent post. I especially like the babysitting tip. When I first lost my job (in July), one of the hardest parts was the change in routine. I rarely left the house (except to get groceries) and was with the kids 24/7. A push to get out of the house would have been wonderful.
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My mom is unemployed and I appreciate these tips. I want to be supportive!
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This is a very sweet post, Amy. I am sure it will bless many.
Steph
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Amy this is such a timely and wonderful article! The best thing we can all do is help one another because sooner or later nearly everyone we know could be in this situation. I have been for most of the last year!
My husband retired from 20 years of active duty in the military, almost exactly one year ago (October 31 was his official last duty day). He finally got another job in mid-July. We did struggle-we had to refinance the house we just bought two years ago to get the payment under the income from his military pension, so we lost all our equity, just so we would be sure not to lose the house. We got a grant from the local VA to pay the mortgage one month, and they also gave us grocery money and paid one of the utility bills. We got food stamps. We refinanced a vehicle that only had three more payments that we just could not make any longer. We paid minimums on the credit cards and yes, we maxed them out while he was unemployed. I sold a gold necklace that my MIL had given me-I needed electricity more than a necklace that I never wore! We cashed in our savings bonds. We did absolutely everything legal and ethical that we could to raise money and save money, and while it was hard, we DID it. We're still here.
So-I got online. I looked at websites. I looked at blogs-like this one! I found the Aldi queen, while looking for inexpensive recipes and shopping advice! The links to different sites here literally kept me going. I had access to the creativity of other people, some of them in the same situation as me, some just with an income that they really had to stretch. It made me feel not so alone in my situatin, and it made me reconnect with the person I am outside of my financial situation.
Definitely, reach out to people, and most definitely, don't criticize the unemployed spouse-none of us know how being unemployed will affect our confidence and their spouse may be just as surprised and dismayed by their lack of motivation as we are. We have to remember that is a PERSON there, not an income generator. Be kind to one another!
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Great post, Amy. This is such a huge issue in my area, as I know it is in yours as well, since we both live in areas with a big automotive presence.
I will find myself in this position at the end of the week as my engineering facility is closing. There are 140 of us all losing jobs in an area that has already been hit hard. Even though I was the bigger wage earner, I'm blessed that my husband still has a job and we have been saving "just in case" for several years now.
I think your suggestions of babysitting and bringing food are excellent ones. In addition, if you are in a position to help a friend network that is a huge help. Obviously not everyone will be able to offer something like that, but lately it seems like the only way to get a job is by knowing someone.
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Im happy to have read this. I am on the down side as Im underemployed with two children and now single. THis was such a wonderful post that I have to say that I know God's Spirit had to have moved to urge you to write it. So many people want to help but are not sure how to do it. This is right on time and Im going to pass it on to others to read and hope they understand my plight as well as others like me. Really the meals help out a lot because there really are times when we must decide if we are going to eat or pay the utilities. I want to remind everyone also of the ANGEL FOOD NEtwork in their area and the FOOD bank. Also when you give of your time to others I want people to understand know there is a blessing coming their way in doing so. I say it is reaping what you sow or others in the world say what goes around, comes around.
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I've been unemployed for a protracted period and have been ridiculed by "friends". Needless to say, they aren't friends any more.
Sometimes it takes a difficult event to weed-out fake friends.
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THANK YOU,, thank you, thank you, thank you for writing this post and sharing your thoughts.
It is so important in times like this to help others.
This is such a good and inspirational post, and I will be sure to spread the word.
Hang tough, and please e-mail me if you guys every need any help.
Best,
FS
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Great Post! I just wanted to add a little something. I am a volunteer director of our local food pantry. We give food and clothing to families that are in need. I have seen so many new families come in that have never been in this position, EVER! Food pantries are not for the homeless. They are a means to help people in times like this. Many people don't know that this type of thing is available to them so I wanted to put it out there to be sure to check your local area. Ask around. We are even doing a special Christmas Shoppe so that families will be able to afford gifts for their children for very small donations.
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Great post. May I also suggest bags of dog or cat food and a gift certificate for the Vet if your friend has a pet. Losing your job is bad enough but add to that the guilt of not being able to take care of your best friend. It's devastating. Were it not for a good friend, I would have had to give up my dog. That was 4 years ago. All is well now and I have repaid the kindness but it nearly broke my heart.
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Oh gosh yes-definitely if you can help someone with their pet, do so! Our animal babies are often the kindest friends we have when we're in dire straights, and they never, ever, think we're bad people because we are going through a rough time. Helping someone take care of their pet can really ease their mind, and if they have children who are attached to the pet you're making their life so much easier than explaining to their kids why their beloved pet can no longer be part of the family.
Grocery stores often mark down pet supplies if the bag gets ripped or if they get the wrong shipment of something-I got a 50 pound bag of unlabeled dog food last year for $5, which helped feed my MIL's 3 little doggies for a long time. (it did have a small paper label, it just didn't have the allover printed packaging-big white bag, little paper label)
But just ask the store manager of your preferred store, they're usually happy to have ripped packages taken off their hands and can give a good price for dry food, cat litter, and multipack boxes of canned food that maybe have one or two dented cans that had to be disposed of.
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fantastic! whenever we can take care of each other – all the better. loving our neighbors as ourselves.
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Thank you so much for this post! You truly have a giving heart and I appreciate the care and concern that you obviously have for all people. Many bloggers are giving helpful advice for people who are unemployed to save money, but nowhere have I seen anyone give advice as to how others can help their friends and family who are laid off. I love your ideas to show people that it is the little things that make a big difference! I am currently laid off and have friends and family who have also are laid off or gone through a temporary lay off and those small gestures for someone to help really do make a word of difference when you are in a tough situation.
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My sister is unemployed and just moved in with me. She's having a really hard time with it and an even harder time finding a job. Thanks for the tips, I'll be sure to use a few.
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Great post! My husband has been unemployed for a year now and things aren't looking good. These are great tips…some of which others have done for us which have been so helpful! I'm due with baby number 3 in 2 months and could really use some help. Friends offered to lend us their 2 older girls as mothers helpers once a week free of charge. It has been a tremendous help! When we are out of this challenging time, I would really like to be the person to lend help to others that are unemployed.
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Great post!
Another idea, call up the utility company and give the family's address…they will let you pay their utilities or even pay towards their bill for the month. A good anonymous way to help
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Great Post. I wanted to add that there is a website called "the astonishing wife" that has resources about how a wife can support her husband during a time of job loss.
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This is a great post. I got laid off in April, 2008. My unemployment is maxed out. My husband was laid off in November, 2008. Jobs in our area are nonexistent. I went back to college to finish the degree I started 20 years ago (thank God for financial aid). My husband picks up the odd jobs he can. We know one man who always asks my husband, "Don't you have a job yet?" Hello! If there was a job to be had my husband would have it. I just hate what all of this is doing to him and I hate that this man who has known my husband for over 15 years has the nerve to imply (and actually come out and said) that my husband isn't trying to support his family. Some people are just so stupid.
Anyway, the nicest thing that has happened- we got a gift card to the grocery store in the mail from anonymous. It came at just the right time.
Thanks for letting me vent.
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This post is an excellent one. Unemployment is one of the biggest problems worldwide and it is sad that some persons actually becomes depressed with it. Reading your post others will be encourage to give whatever assistance they are able to. Even the unemployed can also draw inspiration knowing that you have overcome the same situation. Keep up the wonderful work you are doing.
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Awesome post. I can safely say, from experience, that being unemployed is one of the worst things that can happen to anyone. Aside from not having a steady income, it can also drive you into depression. It definitely did not do my self-worth any good. The best help anyone can give an unemployed person is a job referral. Straight up monetary assistance is only secondary as some people will tend to get complacent once they know they have a source of easy cash.
******
Andrew @ Best Payday Loans
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Thank you for your wonderful post. I only wish that there were more people out there who are willing to help.
My partner has only had 5 months work in the last 2 years due to the collapse of the building industry in our region (he was a skilled sawmill worker and has experience as a construction labourer and carpenter's trade's assistant).
We live in Australia and where we are, it is awful. Our town thrives on the tourism industry, and my partner has tried to get a job in this industry, but you can't get a job without experience, but if no one will give you a CHANCE at a job, then how can you get the experience in the first place? He can't even get a job waiting tables, as a kitchenhand, or serving drinks behind a bar because he has no experience in doing it before, even though he is more than capable. It makes us SO mad.
My partner's last job was six months ago. He got a fulltime, permanent job as a carpet cleaner due to his experience with chemicals but had to serve a probation period of 1 month first. He was working one week, was walking into work one morning, tripped on a stone in the driveway, and broke a bone in his foot. He was told by the doctor at the hospital that day that he couldn't work for 6-8 weeks, and his employer sacked him the same day.
Being unemployed for so long breaks his heart. He is on antidepressants and mentally beats himself up constantly because he can't provide for us (we have two children; his step-children). It is a HUGE strain on him. Our parents help us out with some of our bills when they can, but it is hurting them financially too. We are surviving totally on unemployment benefits at the moment otherwise. I cannot work as I am also on antidepressants (family history of chemical Depression) and suffer side-effects from them, despite being top of my Nursing class at university before I started taking medication.
It is very hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel at the moment. I am trying not to think about Christmas too much. We are going to have to get an advance on our unemployment benefit payments to buy Christmas dinner and presents for our children.
I just wish someone here would give my partner a chance and give him a job. We are so sick of struggling and worrying about our financial future.
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Here's an idea that would eliminate all unemployment: Why don't we all share the jobs that we already have? Then, no one who wants to work will be without a job. Of course, we would all have to suffer a little lower standard of living, but that would be ok, wouldn't it?
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This post is so spot on, especially in these difficult times. Lots of great advice, and rational tips. Thanks and good job.
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This is great! I've linked to my "This & That Thursday" post. Have a great week!!
http://myreasonstoblog.blogspot.com/
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I’ve been out of work for almost two years and really try to keep my spirits up. I’ve been back to college (getting very expensive), enjoy reading, exercising to one day compete (but steadily losing motivation) and continually trying various avenues to secure new job/career – but nothing . I’m very grounded in Christ but this season of unemployment is extremely painful and I do not tell anyone when it gets tough (food, gas, bills) etc., I just keep going. My daughter just moved out and although I do not have much she’s really trying. I literally cleaned out my fridge so her and her roommate could have food. I can deal with these things but what’s hard is not having anyone to share these thoughts of despair, disappointment and the feeling of loneliness that comes with an extended period of unemployment. SO … thank you for understanding that it is much more difficult that many realize. And thank you as well to all of the posts that also offer support!
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