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Play It Again, Momma: Simplifying Your To Do List

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Have you ever looked at your to-do list and just felt completely and utterly overwhelmed before you even start? My day was often looking like that and rarely did I actually ever complete all of the things off of the list. I would end my day defeated before the next day had ever begun. While the high of checking things off the list was there, the items left unchecked left me feeling less euphoric about what was actually accomplished.

For the past couple of months, I have had the great opportunity to work with a business coach to help make my business better. Charrise McCorey, from Emergence Business Coaching, has been working with me to help me reach my business goals. It has been such a unique experience for me because I am able to actually discover how valuable my time is, increase my productivity, and discover what can emerge from finding balance in my life.

The first thing on our project list was tackling my to-do list and my feelings of constantly being overwhelmed. I felt like I was juggling way too many balls in the air so I wasn’t sleeping well, eating well, or feeling like a very good parent. I would start a project, abandon it or do a bad job on it, and then move on to the next thing.

The first thing we did was revamp what my to-do list looked like. Here is an example of what my to-do list looked like for my Monday routine- perhaps it looks like yours?

Amy’s Monday To-Do List

Sweep Kitchen Floors
Unload dishwasher
Load dishwasher
Swipe both bathrooms
Make beds
One load of laundry
Clean bathtub
Empty upper level trash
Make grocery list and menu plan
Change sheets on all beds
Clean windows and mirrors on upper level
Dust upper level
Steam floors on upper level
Sweep upper level
Organize the bedrooms

Now those were just my home management goals, we aren’t even tackling the business goals for the day. What ended up happening was that I would get a portion of the list done and then have to carry it over for Tuesday. Let’s say I got three of those things done. Now we will move on to Tuesday’s schedule and it will look like this:

Amy’s Tuesday To-Do List

Swipe both bathrooms
Make beds
One load of laundry
Clean bathtub
Empty upper level trash
Make grocery list and menu plan
Change sheets on all beds
Clean windows and mirrors on upper level
Dust upper level
Steam floors on upper level
Sweep upper level
Organize the bedrooms
Dust main level
Sweep main level
Steam kitchen floors
Clean windows and mirrors
Run errands

And then, let’s say I got five things done, then Wednesday would carry over to this:

Amy’s Wednesday To-Do List

Make grocery list and menu plan
Change sheets on all beds
Clean windows and mirrors on upper level
Dust upper level
Steam floors on upper level
Sweep upper level
Organize the bedrooms
Dust main level
Sweep main level
Steam kitchen floors
Clean windows and mirrors
Run errands
Do one thing I hate
Catch Up on Everything

Usually by Friday, my list looked something like this:

Amy’s Friday To-Do List

Clean windows and mirrors on upper level
Dust upper level
Steam floors on upper level
Sweep upper level
Organize the bedrooms
Dust main level
Sweep main level
Steam kitchen floors
Clean windows and mirrors
Run errands
Do one thing I hate
Catch Up on Everything
Empty lower level trash
Dust lower level
Sweep lower level
Clean windows and mirrors on lower level
Clean and organize the home office
Visit the library
Clean out car
Update our Quicken software
Mow lawn
Baking day
Hate myself for accomplishing absolutely nothing
Defeat
Defeat
Defeat

Oh, and did I mention I haven’t tackled anything in my business? Obviously, this to-do list was just a running list of things I would never get to and I would hate myself for accomplishing nothing. In tears, I explained to Charrise that I often feel like a bad mom because I had to keep up with my business AND my house and neither was looking good at all. As Charrise says over and over again to me when I say negative things, “That is a story you like to tell yourself. You can change your story.”


We decided to change my story. She advised completely revamping the to-do list. Instead of keeping a running list of things I would never do, why not make a shorter list that I could actually accomplish with great success? How would it feel if I could go to bed each night knowing that I had accomplished what was on my list? How would I sleep? Her advice was simple a list of only six things.

Make 3 Business Goals
Make 3 Personal Goals

Now my list looks something like this:

Amy’s Revamped Monday To-Do List

1. Set up contests for Tuesday on the blog
2. Complete my to-do list entry
3. Conference Call with Kenmore
4. Play on the floor with the kids for one hour
5. One load of laundry- whites
6. Pay Bills

At night before I go to bed, I make my list of six and go to sleep. At the end of the day, I usually can check most of the things off of the list and if something doesn’t get done, it just gets carried over to the next day. I have to say, it is a lot easier to carry over two things rather than twenty each day.

But, what about the bigger goals? I had so many things I needed to do on my list for the website and in my home, but I knew they would never fit on such a limited list.

This is where this comes into play:

Giant Wish List

Instead of adding these to my to-do list each day, take a piece of poster board and begin writing what your bigger goals are. She suggested writing down things you might be afraid to say out loud so that you can see your dreams come into fruition.

Amy’s Giant Wish List

Podcast Radio Show With Huge Corporate Sponsorship
Food Network Television Show
Get Featured in Real Simple Magazine
Regular Column in Good Housekeeping
Book Deal
Meet Brad Pitt
Possibly Marry Him

When I think of things that I want to do in the future, I just jot it down on my giant wish list. It is there, I won’t lose the idea or goal, but it isn’t on my r
unning list of six…yet.

Yes, one day I will have an opening on the list of six and when that happens maybe I might say, “Today is the day to meet Brad Pitt and possibly marry him.” I will add it to the list of six and just maybe, I might accomplish it.

You might ask what happened to all the cleaning on the list? Well, instead of writing it down, I just try and do it when I get my goals accomplished for the day. I either make it my goal to clean one day of the week or I just clean when I need to clean. I don’t hold myself to commitments about it. I know what needs to get done and when I need to do it, and I do the best I can.

It might not be perfect, but it doesn’t keep me up at night anymore.

Simplify.

(photo credits: image 1- one pretty thing image 2-gamookie)

What does your to-do list look like? Could you simplify it? What would you put on a giant wish list?


30 Comments

Comments

  1. 1

    Thanks for being so normal! The more I read your blog, the more I realize how much we have in common. It is so easy to beat yourself up or tell yourself how you have fallen short of goals. It's also very easy to compare yourself (negatively) with others. When I do this, I just have to keep telling myself that these are lies (actually, it's exactly what the devil wants us to do-feel inadequate) and that God loves me as His daughter whether my kitchen is clean or not! After that, I can refocus on what is important…and then I go and clean my kitchen. :)

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  2. 2

    Amy, you have hit the nail on the head!!!!!!!!!! This is a great post and I think your new way of doing things is fantastic. It is so easy to get overwhelmed… I think I do on a daily basis. I am going to give your system a try… such FREEDOM to not have to have the long list! Focusing on the SIX most important things FIRST! My husband is so good at this… I need to learn.
    Heather

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    I am so thankful that this is resonating with you and I hope you guys can scale back your to-do's too. It is so important and I have felt so rewarded by making this small change.

    Ali- I am so glad that you find me normal :) Seriously, I struggle with clutter and trying to do too much way too often. I have the need to please others and feel tapped out. I am still learning how to balance this, and the to-do list revision is helping me feel less of this :) ((hugs))

    More than Survival- You let me know how it turns out and if it improves your life. I can't wait to hear how it helps you!

    Paula- I am just so thankful you read this. Thank you for visiting!

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  6. 6

    Woo, good stuff! I just started using colored index cards for my list. I carry over too, but if my list on Friday is too long, I know I've overscheduled…and then I dump items. This process has helped me learn what I'm taking on that's too much and forces me to look at my priorities. I like the big goal idea, though, awesome!
    ginabad
    Mom-Blog.com
    Journey in Parenting

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  7. 7

    Wonderful article!! I tend to get very down on myself when I don't accomplish all my "TO DOs" for the day, so I completely understand. Positive self-talk is so valuable to quiet that negative internal voice.

    And I absolutely love that playing with the kids makes the to do list, and cleaning does not! That is a great way to set the right priorities!!

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    Thank you so much for this blog on such a simple yet often overlooked concept of reducing the to-do list. I have been struggling with some baby blues and with 2 children under the age of 2 I was already overwhelmed most days, so when I added the mile long to-do list this put me behind before I even started and only furthered my depression and feelings of inadequacy as a mother and wife. This is my second day with a shortened to-do list and I'm already half done (with only the fun stuff with the kids left to do). This is such a feeling of accomplishment and I got more done yesterday with my short list and gradually adding on as I could than I do with my long list. I actually ended up with a long list, but accomplished everything on it (granted the kids were greatly helpful yesterday which is not always the case – but a good start)

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  11. 11

    Sounds like the answer I need! I was continuously moving undone things to the next day till it got overwhelming. I'm definitely going to give this a try!

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  12. 12

    My To Do list is much often your to do list by Friday. I love the way your coach is making it much more simple for you. Thanks for sharing with us and showing how simplicity can work.

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  13. 13

    Amy:

    Thank you so much for sharing this. I'm sitting here right now reading your blog and feeling guilty about it because I have a super-long to-do list.

    Like you, I feel really torn between work and home and family obligations and I often don't feel like I'm doing a good job at any of them. I let things pile up, then at times when I'm supposed to be working, I'll feel compelled to have a marathon house-cleaning session because I can't seem to concentrate with dirty laundry or clutter piled up around me. Then, I end up behind on work, which puts me further behind on taking car of my home… It's a vicious cycle.

    I'm going to take your advice — and your coach's — and make a 6 item to do list and make a list of my bigger goals, too.

    I think too often we women see others who appear to be doing it all, and we belittle ourselves. Meanwhile, those women are facing the same struggles and insecurities that we are.

    I had a bit of an eye-opening experience yesterday on a pool playdate with two other moms, both of whom I admire. They both have two kids each, while I just have one, but it seems that they're able to juggle and balance things so much better than I can with my one toddler and my work.

    Well, yesterday I saw firsthand that they're just as frazzled as I am. Meanwhile, I came off looking like the "together" one because my house was neat, I had snacks packed for everyone, I didn't forget a single thing in my pool bag and my kid wasn't whining. Of course, it was all just dumb luck.

    That experience made me appreciate the messiness of motherhood even more. And it made me realize that the moms I admire (envy even) struggle in the same ways that I do.

    Finally, I wanted to comment on your bigger goal of landing a book deal. I definitely think that's within your reach. As someone who has written and published five business books, I would advise you to write a really good outline/proposal and sample chapter and start shopping the book around to publishers. The popularlity of your blog will help you in that regard. I would also recommend taking a course at MediaBistro because they can really help you solidify your idea and shepherd it through the next steps. (I've taken several media bistro courses because I'm interested in branching out into fiction, and I learned a great deal.)

    In my everyday life, a lot of people tell me they want to write books. But lots fail to understand that publishers aren't just looking for a good idea or a good story. They're also looking for an audience — or to be more blunt, people who will buy the book. Publishing, after all, is a business, and it's getting tougher to crack in every day. However, you already have a built-in audience in your blog readers and the mom audience is huge. A lot of would-be authors fail to research the competitive marketplace in the genre they want to write, but I don't suspect that will be a problem for you. With books, like blogging, it's about finding your niche.

    I hope you don't mind the unsolicited advice. And one more word of warning — writing a book might turn you into a b****. I'm usually super stressed when I'm on deadline and always vow never again. Until a great idea/opportunity comes my way. I guess book writing is kind of like childbirth in that way…

    Good luck.

    Now, I'm going to print the menu plans from your Web site which is what I came up here to do an hour ago!

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  14. 14

    I sooo wish i would've come across the article a long time ago. I try to hard to get housework done on my todo list, that sometimes i too feel as though i'm not the greatest parent in the world for not giving my kiddos the attention they need and deserve. I have 3 kids ages 5(alomst 6), 4 1/2, and 20 months. On top of all that my husband has been deployed since Jan. and won't be home till the end of aug. or beginning of sept. Thanks again for putting the "to-do" list into much more realistic goals. Hopefully i can catch on really quick.

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  15. 15

    this is a great article. I was feeling completely overwhelmed and did almost exactly what you did, made a master goal list that i kept to only 5, broke it down into smaller steps and consult this when i make my daily to do list. I have been doing this for only about 2 weeks but it feels so good to cross something off and feel better about myself!

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  16. 16

    This has to be one of your best articles. I think we all feel overwelhemed and guilty about not being able to do it all but are afraid to admit it. Things are so much better if can stick together and set realistic goals for ourselves. Thanks, Amy!
    P.S. Real Simple is my favorite magazine, you would be great in it!

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  17. 17

    I loved this post the first time – and it was a great reminder for me today.

    By the way, did you know you got a "mention" in July AllYou magazine?

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  18. 18

    I really enjoyed your post. This to-do list hell/limbo is SO my problem. And seeing you write about has made me feel SO much better.
    I may alter this philosophy a bit, but will remain focused on 3 home and 3 business goals daily. I think you are right, when I feel more in control of my day and time, I will complete those and more tasks making me feel renewed and revived toward each new day.
    Thank you for sharing what you learned…It nice to know I'm not alone and I think it will really help!

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  19. 19

    What a fabulous approach! Today is the first day I've actually completed a to-do list and it feels wonderful. Thanks!

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  23. 22

    Amy,
    I love reading your blog and just found this post yesterday. What a great idea. I use a similar system by categorizing my to do list into Now, This Week, This Month and This Year. It helps me keep track of not only what I need to do right away but also all of those ideas that I want to get to someday, ideally This Year but, realistically, probably not until the kiddos are out of the house. :)

    I just have one question for you. How do you balance the work at home equation? When do you fit in your work around cleaning, kids, husband, etc? I could really use some tips on this.

    Thanks for a great blog!

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