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Play It Again, Momma: The Player Scores & Silence

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Photo Credit: Stu Steeger

It is the last thirty seconds of the basketball game and the teams are tied. The star player moves down the court gracefully, dodging player after player, his eye on the prize. He dances around them as he dribbles, and, as the seconds slip by him, he makes a beeline towards the basket. The crowd begins to count down loudly, “Ten, nine, eight…” And just before the last second, he slams the ball into the basket. And the crowd sits silent.

Wait? What? Why would the crowd not cheer? This is the moment, the moment that he has worked towards and yet, you could hear a pin drop. How do you think that player feels?

Well, I have been that blogger a lot and it really stinks. To be honest, you have to really love the process and therapy that comes with your writing to endure the dead silence that you receive when you first start blogging.

Let’s take that player that we talked about, for instance, and how he would have felt if the crowd went wild instead of went silent. As someone who has done theater for years, I can tell you that there is absolutely nothing like the adrenaline rush that you feel from the crowd cheering. Your heart starts to pump, your face flushes, you get that natural high from the praise, and then something really great happens…you want to do it again. That praise, that rush, that love that you feel from the people around you motivates you and you feed off of it. Suddenly, you picture yourself doing it over and over again, but each time you vow that it is going to be better next time.

For me, the process of writing these entries can be very labor-intensive. Sixty shots of whatever I am eating before I get to eat it, reading books and magazines to stay on top of new subjects that might strike our fancy, researching and sharing about other blogs, and just plain working my butt off. Some of my entries take very little thought and others are put out there after hours of careful thought and research. What stinks is when you put it out there and receive no comments on all of that effort.

What can bring a blogger comfort when they receive no comments and what can you do to get more comments to come your way? Let’s chat about it!

Take Comfort In Your Stats- Remember how we talked about tracking your site/blog’s traffic? Well, sometimes you can take comfort in those numbers even if your comments are in the single digits. What brought me a lot of comfort in the beginning was knowing that fifty people visited my blog even if only four people commented on an entry. Just knowing that someone is out there reading your stuff can provide a lot of comfort.

Ask Advice- If you are blogging about a particular subject all of the time, it can become less interactive with your readers. Sometimes throwing a post out there and asking your reader’s take on a particular subject can bring in a lot of comments. It can be something as simple as, where do you find the best grocery prices, but if the readers can help it can become a great role-reversal and will give you more discussion than a post on here is where *I* think you should grocery shop.

Make Yourself Vulnerable- Oh, I know this is a tough one, but this can be a great way to show readers the real side of yourself. This one has been a tough one for me because I am striving to be a positive person and sometimes things in my life don’t feel so positive. Expressing some vulnerability and showing the real sides of our family makes that connection with your readers a little deeper. Be careful when being vulnerable though and protect your family and your privacy as best you can when sharing in this format.

Be the Commenter- If you are not getting comments, then be the commenter. When I say this, I mean it in two different ways. If you receive a comment in your own entry, comment back to that person. “Thanks so much, Jane, for your comment! Using powdered milk IS a great way to save on groceries- I will try that!” This not only boosts your comments by one (and yes, in the beginning stages you can count that!) and it also builds a conversation with your readers. They see that you are reading their comments and that makes them want to continue the discussion with you. Better yet, another person might want to throw their two cents in now that they see that you are learning something and sharing in this way. Not everyone comes back to read the comment thread, but sometimes I read comment threads just because it seems busy. If you answer your comments, that boosts people’s interest in wanting to see what all the fuss is about. See, you just roped your readers in!

The other way is to, of course, spend time commenting on other people’s blogs. This can be a very time-consuming process in the beginning, but it is so fun to read what other people are writing and it will help you with your own content. Be sincere in your comments and the other blogger will want to see who this amazingly thoughtful person is! They will visit your blog and then who knows where that one comment will lead?

Highlight Your Old Stuff- Maybe you put out a killer entry the first time around and not a single soul commented on it, but you knew it was sheer brilliance. What to do? Bring that old entry back! I have seen bloggers do great round-ups of their old entries daily, weekly, or monthly… it just depends on how much content you have to work with. We do a “Play It Again, Momma” where I bring back a single entry that I wished someone read. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again! In fact, this week’s entry is an old one, but all new eyes are seeing it!

Here is what I will say, no matter how big of a blogger you are, those comments really mean something. I read every single comment that comes through my blog and I am so proud if someone tells me they appreciated something I did or said. I gloat so much that sometimes I save them and read them to my husband when he gets home. “Look, this person said that my line drying article saved them $20 this month on their bill. Isn’t that awesome?”

I try not to take the silence personally, but sometimes it is hard. Remember that a thoughtful comment can make a blogger stronger and give them that crazy rush they need to press on.


23 Comments

Comments

  1. 1

    Amy, I have to tell you that I just found and bought a very nice bread machine from a garage sale this past weekend, Black and Decker. I’m scared and excited at the same time, but since you inspired me to get one, I know that I have you and your website to support me and give me recipes! Thanks!

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    Great post! You know I love your site and I appreciate all your hard work. I have been going on every commenters blog each night and commenting back. I didn’t really know it was the “thing” I needed to do, just thought it was polite.
    Thanks for helping!
    ~Liz

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  4. 4

    Great advice!!! It IS hard at first. But the funny thing is, no matter how many you get, you still covet more. :-)

    I think the best way to get more comments is your advice #4 (was it 4?) LOL! To become the commenter. The more I get out there and comment, the more comments I receive. It’s a conversation, so if you don’t participate, people may not feel comfortable joining the discussion. :)

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  5. 5

    Musings of a Housewife- I totally should have numbered those. You are so right though, it is all about the dialogue between bloggers and bringing in the conversation.

    Hoosier Homemade- You are doing a great job. I love visiting other blogs and seeing your comments there before mine :) You are so sweet!

    Kristie- Congrats on your bread machine. That is great- let me know if you have any questions about it. It is a wonderful little homemaking tool.

    Hip Mom’s Guide- Thank you so much for visiting!

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  6. 6

    AMY! This is one of the BEST analogies on blogging and commenting I have ever read. TOTALLY spot-on.

    I have to say my time management has HAD to change in this season of life. When Dacey was little and took long, glorious naps every afternoon AND she was an only child, I had tons of time to read and comment on other people’s blogs. Now with one preschooler who doesn’t nap and a toddler whose naps are ninety minutes on a GOOD day . . . well, my commenting has slacked off. But as a (sort of long-time) blogger, I know how powerful and personal receiving comments on a blog can be.

    I have to say I’ve always been honored and blessed that you’ve stopped by with comments on my lil ol’ blog from time to time. Talk about a busy mama! That you would make time to stop in and say a few kind words at my place always makes my day, and I am NOT just saying that.

    Thank you for sharing this post. Really, really wonderful, thought-provoking, and helpful.

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  7. 7

    Great post! I do a lot of these things and you’re right – it really helps to comment back to people in your comments – I try to do it (I’m better at it sometimes than others) my dilemma is I also like to reply via email to them – if I do that, should I also reply in the comments so everyone can see it?

    I also, just today as a matter of fact, ended my post with asking my readers a question to answer in the comments – we’ll see how that goes!

    I like your idea of bringing up old posts that didn’t get as much attention – I’ll try that next!

    ~TidyMom

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  8. 8

    I love to read blog comments but I don't comment enough myself. I'll do better starting now. Thank you for your informative article & for the much needed kick in the pants!

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  9. 9

    TidyMom- Thank you so much for swinging by. I do the commenting by email, but I also usually try to copy/paste it because I always wonder if someone else is waiting in anticipation of a response. I have had a couple of times where someone later has said, “Yes, I would love to know that too.” It is is great though that you are just responding in whatever format. I know that means a lot to your readers.

    I definitely think it is also fun to bring back your old stuff. This post is in fact super old :) I have new readers now though and I forget that they probably have not read through or had the time to go through my archives.

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    That is a really interesting post. I’m taking a chance here and sharing some of my point of view as a reader. As crazy as it sounds, I often feel as if I am reading the blog of a celebrity and to leave a comment can be a little awkward. I feel as if I get a glimpse into your (and other bloggers) lives and you don’t even know me. One of my goals for this year was to make sure that I comment on each blog that I read at least once. I’ve even gotten responses on some of them and it makes it less celebrity and more personal so I am gaining courage. I am sure you never thought of it this way but for me it is true. From now on, I will be a better commenter! Thanks for all that you do. Blessings!
    -ali

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  12. 12

    Great article with a great analogy. I have really struggled with this since blogging. One of the aspects most important to me is trying to balance my blogging time. Woman, by nature, desire those words of affirmation, but there is also that tendency then to take so much stock in the number of comments. I love building up the relationships by the comments, but every once in awhile I feel like I need to turn off the comments just to find worth in the joy of sharing my experience, my story…no matter what. I agree with Jo Elle…it’s a never ending cycle. You always want more and when I get to that point of being unhappy, I know I am out of balance. :)

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  13. 13

    Great analogy! I think every blogger can relate. I try to do much of what you suggested but sometimes I still feel like I’m not making progress….

    I love it though when a conversation / dialogue with the readers takes place! That’s the best reward.

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  14. 14

    Ali- Thank you for putting yourself out there like that. I had never thought of it from that angle. I hope you will know though that I am the furthest thing from a blogging celebrity, but just a mom who has wanted to help others by showcasing some ways that we save money. I love and read every single one of my comments and to me, they are my virtual paycheck.

    Like Jen though, I need to keep things in balance and not let comments or the lack of comments determine the worth of a post or my own self-worth as a writer.

    Thank you so much and I hope this can add another perspective on commenting on blogs and what it can mean for someone personally :)

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  15. 15

    I have to say as someone who came from a PR background I didn’t even know who mommy bloggers were, but now as a mom myself I find myself searching for them as the ones like yourself that I have found have provided SO much valuable information. I know who I can turn to for advice, suggestions, etc. for my family. As a reader I often look in the comments section for others input and perhaps another great blog that I have missed.

    Thanks for the encouragement and advice that you have put out there.

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    Great post!

    It’s funny but I get more comments on silly, personal posts than the ones that I seem to put more effort into. You just never know what is going to resonate with someone.

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  20. 20

    I stopped by from Way More Homemade and I just HAD to comment! LOL!

    This is some great advice! And it is so true that we love the comments, though I am getting better at not worrying so much about the numbers since readers and visitors are increasing.

    And I do try to visit other blogs and leave comments. That really does make a difference.

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