I am continuing my commitment towards reducing the clutter in our house and we made another trip this week to take a trunk full of randomness out of our life. The stuff that we got rid of was mostly Emily’s clothing that was too small, some household decorations that were gathering dust, my old set of pots, and books that were overflowing in my bookshelf.
Did you see anything of Ethan’s on this list? Nope! As we pulled up to the drop-off box, he watched me silently as I loaded everything into the Goodwill box and said good riddance to the stuff we did not need.
When I climbed back in the car, he continued in this silence until we pulled up to the grocery store…and then he burst into tears.
“Mommy, why did you get rid of Emily’s hat?”
“Ethan, that hat didn’t fit your sister. She is getting too big and so we needed to get rid of these things that were too small.”
“But, mommy, why did you get rid of those special lids?”
“Ethan, those lids went to the old pots that mommy had. Remember, mommy got new ones for Mother’s Day and now we don’t need those anymore.”
Each item, he had noted as I put them in there. Honestly, I never thought that it would be an issue because none of the items were his, but he seemed to take my war on clutter very personally.
Over dinner, I shared with my husband about Ethan’s unexpected tears and how I never thought he would cry over the stuff like that. Ryan went into a deep explanation with Ethan about how we wouldn’t be able to walk in our house if we didn’t get rid of things and how he couldn’t play in a house that had stuff piled up. And then he said the funniest thing ever…
“Mommy, what you need is Space Bags. They will smash your stuff into little piles and then you won’t have to give my stuff away. You just need a vacuum hose, to suck out the air, and then you can fit up to four sweaters in one bag and slide them under the bed.”
That is when I knew that we made the right decision. I also vowed to switch to as much commercial-free television as I could.
In all seriousness though, do you find that your children help contribute to the clutter because they are attached to things? Do you declutter in secret or do you let your kids know when you are getting rid of stuff?
Oh my gosh! that is seriously hysterical!!! My almost 4 year old takes it very personally when we give stuff away (which is often – I can’t stand clutter) but we’re working through it and she seems okay with it most of the time now.
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My kids were having a hard time getting rid of the toys they never played with. So I started selling the stuff with my local twins club. After the first sell, I returned with almost four hundred dollars. I gave each boy forty, for the toys they had contributed to sell. They were ecstatic!!! Now that we are past the baby stage with the twins (and all the stuff that entails), we donate our stuff to Christian Ministries. They have seen tornados and floods, and realize that it can be gone in the blink of an eye. I have told them about how some people have nothing and we are soooo spoiled with all of our “stuff”, that they willingly donate things when they are tired of them or outgrow them. My eleven year old and eight year old will even bring me a bag full of things every now and then and ask when we are going to the donation place again.
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Very funny!
It’s terrifying if you think how much the children are really paying attention to everything around them, isn’t it?
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i totally declutter in secret from my almost 8 yr old! otherwise nothing would ever leave!
that was so cute about the space bags!!!! chasing cherrios does something neat on her blog called thrifty thursday! she goes to the thrift store and donates stuff so she can buy more stuff!
mayber you could instillt he smae principle tell him if he wants something from a garage sale, thrift store etc…. then he has to give up something for each item he wants new!
i did it once with my oldest and it did work so we are making that the new rule in your house!
good luck!
by the way what cookies did you bake?? was that bread behing the cookie dough??
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There’s a reason I’m sending my girls to their grandmother’s house for a full month. It’s so I can declutter their room and pack up their toys without their “help.”
Hugs,
Melinda
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What a cute idea to do a Thrifty Thursday- very smart!!
The stuff in the picture is:
My Artisan Bread experiment:
http://tinyurl.com/6h46dm
Oatmeal, Chocolate Chip, & Pecan Cookies:
http://tinyurl.com/6d8hqu
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I must admit – I declutter in secret. The boys do understand about giving things to less fortunate people, and they will help a little bit with that. But when it’s time to get serious about getting rid of stuff… I wait until they go to Nana’s!
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Good question. I struggle with being on the up and up with my son on this one. We live in a really tiny 1950′s house so keeping everything that comes in the door would be madness. I also prefer clean, clutter free surfaces, not an easy task with two small kids. DS understands Goodwill and that our stuff goes to people who need it. He handles it pretty well (his tearful phase only lasted a month or so) but I don’t involve him very much in the culling process. I plan on doing some of this today!! I like it when you blog about this subject. It always inspires me to get on the ball.
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My daughter used to want to keep every little thing, even trash! But after several years of encouraging her to donate to the local thrift store (and then going in and seeing our stuff for sale there!) she is now on board! One trick I have done is to periodically pack up boxes of their toys that seem seldom used. If no one misses them after a few weeks, I just donate them with no tears. All my kids seem happier to have room to play with the toys they really love. It is a great feeling to keep control of our stuff isn’t it?!
Sandy
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Too cute! I have to declutter in secret, but it has to be done
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My son’s 2.75, and I’m a secret purger. He gets loads of toys as gifts; many of them are questionable in terms of age appropriateness/safety/manufacturing and other are in conflict with our values (licensed characters, toys that glorify violence or commercialism). Toys that are always ignored or misused/mistreated also find their way into this cohort.
As soon as he’s distracted with another toy, I try to spirit the unwanted stuff away into a cardboard box in a distant room until the items can be given away (or destroyed if unsafe).
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Last month when we did the garage sale I explained to Alaina that she needed to pick out some of her toys that she doesn’t play with anymore to sell. That she would get the money from it to put in her piggy bank. I also told her that we would be getting rid of a lot of her clothes from when she was a baby. Now, every time she sees me cleaning up she’s afraid I’m selling more of her stuff LOL She’s even asked me if we have to sell her bed and her monkey and puppy. She gets very concerned about it.
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when my daughter was that age, she was very much the same way. Part of it was that she never wanted to part with something that anyone, including her father or I, had given her for fear of hurting their feelings. She eventually outgrew it, and now I have to watch to make sure she doesn’t give something good away.
Rebekah
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I’ve been doing a lot of decluttering lately and get the kids involved. It does make it a little harder, because they want to get into everything. But then I also can explain to them WHY we have to declutter and WHY they don’t need so many toys and such & such. It works for us so far!
Steph
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The space bag comment sounds like something my 5 year old would say. LOL
I used to declutter in secret, because my now 10 year old has a hard time getting rid of stuff. But now I make her declutter herself. I set limits (like all the toys must fit on this shelf) and then tell her to get rid of anything she doesn’t use or love. She’s getting better.
My son doesn’t seem to have a problem decluttering. I think he’d get rid of everything in his room except for his toy NASCAR cars, if I let him.
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I include my kids in the de-cluttering process. I’ve done this since they were small and surprisingly, they are selective about what they keep when we go through their things.
It’s amazing isn’t it, to realize how much attention the kids pay to what goes on in the house? So many times we think they’re not watching…
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I’m an older Mom – my daughters are 27 and 29. Six months ago I was cleaning out the basement and my daughters were filling bags to take home with them. But with things like old baking utensils, old glasses, etc. I asked them why they were taking junk home with them. My oldest daughter asked me: Don’t you remember baking cookies EVERY Christmas and using this cookie cutter? Remember how you used to make us split a can of pop? One had to pour, one had to pick – and we always used these pink glasses. And an old ratty travel bag? Memories of past vacations.
I was thrilled to have them take all the stuff they wanted home with them. But not because I wanted to get rid of it all. I was thrilled that all the little things I had done with them over the years had left them with so many happy memories.
So Amy – I hope you and all your readers realize what an impact all the little things you do with your children every day have on them.
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Yes! My kids are TERRIBLE hoarders!
We will be having a garage sale soon, and I am dreading the tears and tantrums they may have as they watch their old baby toys walk away.
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I think some of kids’ apprehension in giving away clutter is a security thing…they’re very aware of change and it can make them nervous. I think the moms who have posted have done a great job in explaining why they are de-cluttering and the benefits of a more organized household. I think once kids understand this, they usually aren’t so nervous about giving stuff away. My 7 year old LOVES the idea of a garage sale because he gets to keep the money from his old “little kid” toys
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We tried decluttering witht he help of our 3-year-old and sometimes she is alright with it and other times she takes it personally. We have been getting rid of some of the toys she never plays with anymore and we try to explain that she is a big girl and it is time to share the things with other children who can use them. She thinks that one day she will be little again and will be able to have the things back though, but hey whatever makes her feel better right?
It is scary what they notice though. Atfer an upset over something being given away we got rid of a small sandbox in secret, she never played in anymore and when she woke up from her nap she noticed it was gone. She hadn’t looked at it or seemed to realize it was there for months prior, but all of a sudden she noticed it was gone. She was more upset we didn’t tell her we getting rid of then the other items we had explained to her about before hand.
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What a smart and funny little guy you have there! Hopefully the next go round won’t be so tough on him.
I’ve actually been very blessed in this area with my kids. My son, now 14 has always been willing to give things away that he no longer uses/plays with. Actually, there have been times when I had to convince him to keep something! Now my daughter, who is 3 is on board too. We cleaned out her room together recently, and she surprised me with her willingness to get rid of things she no longer played with. I count myself blessed indeed!
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I hate to admit it, but I take a black trash bag into their rooms when they are at school & pre-school and declutter whatever I think they won’t miss. It’s usually junk items that were fun for a few minutes and then forgotten. I know I should tell them first, but if I did they’d still be in my house making it feel even smaller than it is already!!
p.s. My kids have also recommended space bags to me… must be watching the same programs!
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Around holidays and birthdays we do a declutter together and make room for new things. We include our son in those.
But when there just starts being too much junk piling up (old toys, cheesy happy meal toys, old craft prjects, etc) I toss them when he’s sleeping. Ooh, I am mean mommy! LOL
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We do a combo. We include my son in the process (sometimes) and do some covert de-cluttering (when necessary). I want my 5-year-old to know about space limitations and cleanliness – his future wife will thank me.
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This is a subject near and dear to my heart. I actually had to have my 10 year old daughter go away for the night so that I could secretly clean out her room. We just recently moved and I couldn’t believe what I found when I opened the boxes she had packed herself…pieces of paper, old candy wrappers and rocks! I had two bags of trash that went to the curb and so many things that got listed on freecycle and went to Salvation Army. When she came back she didn’t even notice that things were missing. She thought her room looked great!
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Oh baby! Most of the time I have to declutter in secret if I really want to get the job done. However, I never touch very personal items -those aren’t mine to decide!
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We call my 7 year old the “junk collector”. He constantly picks up little things off the ground. Anytime anyone is giving something away. He takes it. He has a collections of rocks, sticks, old keys, pieces of metal, ceramic items, pictures of animals, and lots of other things I won’t spend time naming. He is the world’s worst. But he gets it honest. Because I am pretty bad myself.
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My kids wrote down the 800 number for space Bags and gave it to me.
It’s definitely easier to declutter in private with no little eyes watching! At one time, my kids each had their rooms full of stuffed animals, and each one was special. Now they are down to about 4 each.
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That made me laugh so hard! You have inspired me to declutter my house, I have taken to loads of clothes to the DI (like goodwill). Thanks for the encouragement!
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Oh, I can so relate to the less-commercial tv thing! I knew it was a problem with my kids when Katie started going around the house singing “Beep, beep, it’s Gurley Leep!”
I’m desperately in need of some serious decluttering! My problem is, I have so much, I can never get through it all at one time. Especially with the kids’ toys. I’ll start to fill a bag, have to stop for whatever reason and by the time I get back to it, the kids have taken everything back out! I probably need to start on a smaller scale and just do a little at a time.
The kids don’t generally have too much of a problem with getting rid of stuff they don’t play with anymore. I do make a point to tell them that it’s going to go to people who aren’t as lucky as they are and don’t have all the nice toys they do so we need to share some with them. That actually seems to motivate them to pick out a few things to get rid of.
Gee, you almost have me motivated to start the decluttering again!!
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I think we are discovering that slow and steady is better for us rather than my frantic overhaul of our entire lives
I started just putting stuff in the trunk and adding to it as I clean the house. It forces me to drop the stuff off because I need to put other things in the trunk. Unfortunately, it always looks like I am the junkie lady who has random junk in her car all of the time. I try not to worry about our reputation as I think we ruined it a LONG time ago 
I love hearing about everyone else’s experience (and glad to know I am not alone with the son who recites infomercials. I did notice they play those A LOT on Nick Jr.)
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I can totally relate to this post! We go through the kids toys about every 6 month and get rid of broken ones or ones they just don’t play with anymore. We give them the choice of donating them or selling them. Either way they all cry and don’t want to get rid of ANY of them. So frustrating. My hubby wants to do it without them knowing and I am thinking that might not be a bad idea!
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From the time my girls were young they have helped with sorting through their stuff. I explained all about donating and how another child will love and use things they no longer do. They see me doing the same and to them it’s just normal. Sometimes I even have to rescue things they want to donate (I usually do that behind their backs
). I think the skill of donating/selling/letting go of stuff is something that everyone needs to learn.
Libby
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I’m de-cluttering this week in secret. The kids are in an afternoon YMCA day camp giving me full access to all their junk. Including my husband’s! He can be the worse of all.
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I never tell the kids I’m decluttering. Although at XMAS time, I made them go through their toys and find 5 things to give to children’s charities. I have to be honest, sometimes I don’t even tell my husband I’m decluttering! I just don’t want to have to hear that he will be “using something eventually!”
GREAT post, Amy! You have made me want to go upstairs and start getting rid of stuff… a nice fresh start!
- Audrey
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My kids get very attached to their things (the big kids are 11 and 9) but out of respect I never throw anything away without their knowledge. I always get them to work alongside of me as we organize their rooms as organizing is such an important skill to teach our children. Now my youngest is only 2 so I can still get away with doing his stuff but usually around 4 or 5 is when I start empowering the kids to make their own decisions about what stays or gos. I set the limits with containers and they can decide what to keep but it has to fit in the container. It works amazingly well.
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That’s too funny! He pays attention to those commercials!
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Kids are so funny about this type of stuff. I need to remember this in a couple of years when they really start understanding this type of stuff. The boys are really observant right now, I’m sure that will grow in the years to come.
Great job Amy! We are cleaning out the junk room and making a guest room out of it this week! I am so excited! We are havng a yard sale Friday and I have sold the bed and bookcase laready.
Have a great week! Blessings!!!
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Yes! I ONLY clean out when they are not here! They never miss anything that I have weeded out and I can work faster without having to try and reason with them that they haven’t played with it for a long time.
Keep up the good work!
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My kids, 11 and 8, have a hard time getting rid of stuff. I try really hard and tell them how I wish I had gotten rid of stuff when I was younger. I still have so much stuff that now it’s been around so long that I can’t part with it!
My 11 year old cried when I gave away her changing table! She did use it as a Barbie house, but it was so big and she wanted a grownup room. My son does get rid of some things but mostly small McKid toys.
I wish you well with using the space bags!!!
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So cute about the space savers, amy! I am always decluttering, Keep laundry baskets in rooms/back hallway and get rid of stuff as needed. I think living in a small space really helps you keep on top of it! – Jakesmom
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I didn’t let my kids participate in the decluttering of their room because I know what they play with and what they don’t. There has been stuff that they have not even looked at or mentioned since we moved here. Mostly little stuff and old McDonald toys….things like that. I have more problems with my own clutter especially paper clutter! FlyLady is helping me with that!
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My kids totally contribute to clutter!
I remember a time when Rebecca kept every toilet paper roll and cotton ball in the house in case she needed it for a craft project. She’d go around scouring all the trash cans in the bathrooms for toilet paper rolls, and she had two full drawers of them! It was pathetic.
We always make the girls get rid of toys at Christmas and Easter, and they complained a lot but they did it.
The interesting thing is that when they both hit 10, something clicked. They both now keep their rooms neater than I keep mine. They’re really into “organizing”. If only it would apply to the rest of the house, too…
Visit To Love, Honor and Vacuum today!
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We are all bad about it in this house! I haven’t had anyone get sad like Ethan, that is so sweet and sensitive! But it is so hard for us to get rid of stuff. We are slowly doing it because I’m sick of it all! There have been things I’ve gotten rid of on a whim and then regretted though!
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Been there, done that! I am going to post pictures on one of my blogs of the clean bedroom my boys now have.
I, too, have a sensitive child who doesn’t want to part with his treasures. One solution that works for us is to take a picture of him with the special object “so we can remember it.” This helps him say goodbye, even if we never print or even view the picture!
In the last year or so we’ve sent three boxes of gently-used stuffed animals and tiny trinkets (gently used goody bag filler, Happy meal toys) to US soldiers in Iraq to hand out to the Iraqi children. You can read more here: http://blogs.parentcenter.babycenter.com/momformation/2008/05/31/sending-toys-to-iraqi-children/
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